When do babies use cutlery and stop throwing food?

[eddy26]

DD is 11.5 months and loves food :). We did baby led weaning and so she has always fed herself. It's been a joy to watch to be honest.

But recently, now I am 6 months in, I am starting to find the mess a bit wearing. To indicate she has finished DD sweeps her food onto the floor. Plus, because she eats with her hands, she is normally covered in food at the end of every meal. Despite wearing an all in one protective bib. Clean up is a major operation.

The mess was never a problem for me before. I was so pleased she was not choking to death enjoying eating that I wasnt bothered by it. But I now find myself getting a bit impatient. I try not to show it but feel bad that what has started so well might start going a bit pear shaped. Plus, how on earth am I going to take her to my Mum and Dad's for Christmas? Their house is pristine. Cream carpets throughout. Agh!

When and how can move onto the next stage and a) stop throwing everything on the floor/across the room/all over me at the end of every meal time and b) start using cutlery?

My son is 2.5 (nearly) and I think I've been giving him a fork and spoon for about a year. He doesn't always use them, as fingers are much easier, but the mess is definitely going down!

As for the sweeping food off, what do you do when she does that? My son used to do that so now I keep a close eye on him while he eats and as soon as it's obvious he's playing and not eating, away goes the plate. This has led to tears, yes, but it is also leading, on occasion, to him handing me his plate saying 'Done, Mummy.'

DD (23 mo) started using a spoon with confidence at about 18 months, before that she found it quite frustrating. She's just starting to get to grips with a fork but as found the stabbing-but-not-getting-anything maddening.

She was never a food thrower though. I'd be smug but actually I think it's just that she eats too fast to waste any!

Ds is nearly 2 and can just about feed himself

We made spoon using into a game from about 13 months - I had a spoon, she had a spoon, that way she didn't get too cross and was incredibly pleased with herself when a mouthful went in.

um....my DS2 (he'll be 2 in a few days) CAN use cutlery, however he generally chooses not to, preferring instead to grab it all in his fist and shove it in his gob. when he's full, he might like to smear it over the table just a tad. feels ever so nice...

I don't have anything particularly helpful to add I'm afraid but I just wanted to say that my DD is 15 months and still throwing food everywhere! She also indicates that she's finished/doesn't want something by throwing it on the floor. She even takes food that is offered in order to throw it on the floor (if she doesn't want it). She is also a good eater and has fed herself from quite a young age. I have tried saying no but I think she enjoys my reaction (especially my gasp if she manages something very dramatic/messy) so now I'm trying ignoring her again. My approach when we're in someone else's house or when she's wearing a nice outfit is to try to only give non-messy/pale coloured food!! I also put a towel under her highchair at a recent family birthday to save the carpet However, I do agree that we're very lucky to have good eaters!!

I would stop the food throwing at this point, just as you would stop any other behaviour you don't want.

I think I started encouraging ds to use a spoon at around 10-12 months - loading the spoon for him and encouraging him to get it in his mouth. Now at 15 months he has a spoon and fork every meal time and has a good go with them, though I do load them for him sometimes and sometimes he uses his fingers.

teaandchocolate - I like the pale coloured food comment. Beetroot definitely out for xmas then (fortunately it's never been big in our house at that time of year anyway .

Basically, the answer seems to be 'not yet'. I don't want meals to become a battle if I can possibly avoid it. I am luck DD is so happy eating. Especially, as she has a milk and egg allergy which can make her diet quite limiting sometimes. I will start to gently discourage the food sweeping. That will at least make me feel like I am doing something and should make feel more relaxed again. And I will continue to duck.

OP, its soooo frustrating, isn't it? When your lovingly home made meals end up on the walls, floor and ceiling. It does get better, slo-o-o-o-w-l-y.

DS is 20 months. We did not do BLW, and has been a bit slow to feed himself. I still tend to feed him. He has thrown food and swept it onto the floor when he has had enough. Still does. Oh and the finger painting with ketchup! So I only give him one piece of food at a time. I watch closely and stop offering food and remove left overs as soon as he starts to play with it. He tries to use cutlery but is more of a game than anything. So while he fiddles with a fork I shovel in the food. To reduce the amount of tidying I take most of his clothes off and roll up his sleeves. He has a bib with a pouch. Cheap Ikea high chair with no cushions so easy to clean, and tray goes in dishwasher (I have a spare tray). I have a long handled broom and pan to sweep up, and a cat who also helps! I get DS, chair and floor cleaned up before letting him out, while explaining to him the more mess he makes, the longer he waits. He now holds the left overs out to me to take away, and will try to wipe his own tray and mouth.

Some people put a shower curtain on the floor for meal times, then put it in the washing machine. I feed DS outside if it is not too cold or raining.

And don't forget to buy one of these for your parents' house!

If you make spoon-using a game it won't become a battle - babies love learning new skills. But DD is pretty dextrous and at 11.5 months she wasn't up to it.

I did see a 12mo using a spoon once but he was the youngest of 4 and it was clearly spoon or starve!

No advise to add, sorry, but if I may can I hijack....
My 13 month dd has just started showing an interest in the spoon. We do a mixture of Blw and spoon feeding.

However, whilst interested and eager at the beginning she soon gets bored and will then mess about. But she's still hungry and patting her belly to tell me so, so I then spoon feed her the rest.

Am I just going to confuse her?

I always put out cutlery from the outset. DD2 is 2 and uses a knife and fork most of the time, plus hands, but she's not messy as I don't allow it. I think you can teach your DD to stop making a mess now if you want to. It doesn't need to be a battle, just help her and teach her and eat with her and if you praise the good and remove food when she starts to play with it she'll soon start to copy how you eat.
I believe all weaning should be led by the baby, but when I have looked at the BLW books it makes me cross that waste and mess seem to be actively encouraged.
By the way, Christmas dinner is an easy dinner for a 1 year old to eat. batons of cooked parsnip, broccoli, carrot etc for fingers and chopped up meat and potato loaded onto a spoon or fork. So long as you've cracked the food throwing it should be a doddle.

toomuchtooyoung - have you tried loading up a spoon and fork/2 spoons at the same time so she can either feed herself 2 handed, or feed herself while you help along?

By the way, easiest foods to introduce spoon to is shreddies at breakfast. Little mess and quite easy to get on the spoon. If you're using a good spoon and not just an old weaning spoon. Wide spoons are better than the narrow weaning ones.

toomuch - that's pretty much what I did, though with spoon loading like harecare, we had two spoons and swapped back and forth. DD not confused at all, she's pretty hot shit at cutlery now!

And hear hear about not using weaning spoons, much too difficult. Saint Waitrose's baby cutlery has nice fat, shallow baby spoons.

Harecare - good point about the spoon. I am using a yellow weaning spoon. I give it to DD every meal and the first thing she does it throw it on the floor.

She used to actually use the spoon. In the early days, when she had yoghurt for instance, I used to load the spoon for her and she used to take it and put it in her mouth herself. She did this from the very first feed. I was amazed to be honest. I never needed to spoon feed her runny or mushy foods because she could do it herself. She couldnt load the spoon but had no trouble putting it where it was supposed to go. She also had teeth from 6 months so could eat solids quite easily and used to reach out and help herself. She chose BLW rather than me choosing it for her. I was happy to spoon feed mush as I was worried about choking but we by passed that bit.

Then after a couple of months, when I loaded the spoon and offered it she started throwing it on the floor straight away. So I gave up with the spoon entirely. I was just happy she was eating. Now I am thinking it might reduce the mess. And I agree that the books are almost evangelical about the benefits of mess. I think this is why I am nervous about curtailing the mess because I dont want DD to stop enjoying meal times. But, as always, there is probably a happy ground. I will try different cutlery.

Sorry for the long post....

kenobi - thanks for the waitrose tip - will have a look

DS used to throw food a lot. I ignored it completely and now it only happens if he's finished and I've dawdled taking his food away and taking him out of his chair. He is coming up to 16 months and is just starting to enjoy using a spoon and fork. He'll revert back to hands after a few mouthfuls, though, especially when very hungry. I have no problem with him eating porridge with his hands but he actually seems suddenly very keen on cutlery - the copying-mum-and-dad bit has kicked in, perhaps.

Unfortunately my MIL seems to think my DH had impeccable table manners at 16 months and has put in a complaint to me about the mess my DS makes. In MY home, might I add. I nod and smile and take an oil cloth when we go to her house. :)

Don't worry, your DD will get there.

marimo - DD also eats porridge with her hands (she has toast on Mon, tues and Wed when I go to work though :) ). she gets covered. the highchair gets covered. i get covered. and somehow, even though she is in a full length bib, her clothes get covered. she has a ball. but it's a bugger getting porridge out. even in the washing machine. how do you do it so you contain the porridge? or are you just more chilled out than me :)

Still on the old weaning ones as she has only just started to be

Oops
.......Only just started to be interested. I'll look into the Boon ones mentioned. As for feeding she generally prefers to load spoon herself, I tend to move bowl around accordingly to get some on there. If we have two spoons then she wants both and then nothing gets eaten. She's v good at whole foods and not too messy but it's her porridge and prunes for breakfast that are proving difficult. Has to have them for her innards!!

DS is 17 months and I've found the whole thing to be a gradual progression, which I remind myself of whenever we have a meal that's got a bit messy!

He can use fork and spoon, but will often then progress to hands about halfway through until he's done. He used to sweep stuff onto the floor, but now I've told him that if he doesn't want something he gives it to me and he gets told off for food on the floor things are getting cleaner.

It all starts to click into place and then you have a day where you end up cleaning couscous off the walls.

I would say gradual steps and persuasion and remind yourself what they were doing a month/3 months ago when you're wondering if it will ever come together.

For porridge I recommend an industrial drill. It's a BUGGER to get out, isn't it?

For clothes, how about one of these? I'm only half joking...

just wanted to add that my DD also wears a sleeved bib and still manages to get food everywhere including in her nappy?!! she is obviously very talented.

Kenobi - Ha Ha. I love it. That is hilarious. I am sorely tempted.