Tantrums!!

[wifey6]

My lovely little boy...16 months...has started having screaming tantrums. I can't stand it!! I have started leaving the room & leaving him to it....is that the right approach?

What sets them off? Is he tired/hungry/frustrated?

If you can anticipate them, then you can usually stop them from happening in the first place (not always)

I think today was frustration...usually I can stop it before it escalates....but today I wasn't so lucky. Just not sure if leaving the room so he can vent is the best way?

I found I could head off about 80% with some practice, but with a full-fledged one all I could do was leave the room/leave him in his room and go back every 10 min or more or if there was a break to offer some food/milk/cuddle.
The worst of it was over in a couple months. Never leaving the house without at least two snacks and a couple toys in mypocket was vital. Actually, still is...

No, leaving the room with a distress-tantrum is not the way. It's not venting, he's out of control and probably frightening himself. You need to stay with him - probably just next to him if he can't stand to be touched. Just let him know that he's not alone, calm him with your voice, help him return to earth, give him a cuddle as he calms down.

Bossy tantrums, when they're older and can't get their own way, are different. At 16 months it's unlikely to be that - more frustration, as you say. There's some good advice about tantrums on the 'terrible twos' thread at the moment too. As notcitrus says, hunger and tiredness are the most frequent kickoffs.

Yes I would stay - I do with DS.

Thank u all for your advice...I've only left him twice when he has been like that...but now I won't & try soothing with my voice.... Feel like I should of known that.

Don't beat yourself up - it can be really hard to know what to do at stressful times!

Thank you octav...just feel like I should know...maternal instinct or something!

I've said this on a couple of other threads, but there's a really genuinely helpful book called What Every Parent Needs to Know - it's not 'advice' from a parenting guru, it's an easy-to-read summary of all the proper research into babies' brains and how they develop. It's changed the way I do some things and the rest was very enlightening.

Thank you...I will look for that. Very much appreciated.