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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

6yr old dd who says her head is overloaded at bedtime?

22 replies

unicorn · 31/12/2005 22:46

I could be up there (in her bedroom) forever with her, trying to help her relax, but she really needs to find her own ways of switching off.

Anyone got any good suggestions?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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hercules · 31/12/2005 22:46

reading before bed?

colditz · 31/12/2005 22:48

very boring video, that is 2/3 years too young for her?

Original poster

unicorn · 31/12/2005 22:49

she can't concentrate for very long and unfortunately doesn't like activities that involve only her - so whilst she will have us read to her, stay in her room talking for ages, and stroking her head, she has this problem with unwinding on her own.

She likes to jump about a lot (high energy child.. but not appropriate at bedtime really)

OP posts:

colditz · 31/12/2005 22:50

She might need time alone to wind down, and just not realise it though

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 22:50

You can get meditation/relaxation type CDs for children. Will try to find a link...

Spartacus · 31/12/2005 22:50

Lavender oil?

Original poster

unicorn · 31/12/2005 22:51

yep, that sort of thing I thought.. meditation etc... didn't know what was appropriate for a 6 yr old though.

OP posts:

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 22:54

here

these look good for daytime too

\linkwww.hypnosishealthcare.com/seashoreebedtime.html\you can listen to this one}

I did a search on Yahoo and quite a few came up.

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 22:55

you can listen to this one

Original poster

unicorn · 31/12/2005 22:58

brilliant thanks a lot, will get her one of those.

OP posts:

thecattleareALOHing · 31/12/2005 22:59

In bed storytapes. My ds loves them.

Original poster

unicorn · 31/12/2005 23:04

tapes, and normal things don't seem to help her relax, but add to her overload.

It's almost like she needs hypnosis - or someone to switch her off IYSWIM!

OP posts:

Pixiefish · 01/01/2006 00:36

Have you tried a bath with lavender bubbles and straight to bed? Just thought of trying the same things that we do when we're over stressed

NannyL · 01/01/2006 13:22

have you looked at what she is eating?

does she consume lots of sugar / chemical sugar substitutes / additives / e numbers etc? If so maybe they should be cut out to see what happens!

LIZS · 01/01/2006 13:30

Classical music tapes or sea sounds etc like you'd use in labour ? Perhaps she needs to retire to her room earlier so she can shake off some of the tension before actually going to bed. Agree with Colditz, she may need to spend 10 minutes or so alone in a dimmed room before trying to sleep, even if you are just pottering in the next room or tidying the bathroom. I wonder if your presence may actually be counterproductive.

Original poster

unicorn · 01/01/2006 14:55

it's hard to describe though, dd is a highly intense child (high maintenance, high energy etc)
and has never been able to entertain herself very well - even as a baby, toddler etc.

She is very needy, so I have sometimes fallen into the habit of being with her and essentially 'talking her down' to the sleep point.

I know she needs to work out her own strategies though, and that's what I am looking for... things she can do, that don't rely on anyone (me)
to relax her.

(Her diet is generally ok.. obviously it being Christmas hols she has probably overloaded a bit...)

Basically, I think this is a character trait, which is hard for both her, and us.

OP posts:

FrostyTheGloworm · 01/01/2006 14:59

another vote for pure lavender oil, on pillow and top of teddy bear, works great for us, ds calls them sleepy drops.

Blandmum · 01/01/2006 15:00

Get a routine and stick to it. My dd is also 'high maintainece' so I sympathise.

A nice warm bath every night, with warmed jimjams to get into. A warm mug of milk in a very quiet enviroment. A shrot, and agreed, story and then tucked up in bed....with possibly 10 minutes extra time to read to herself, is what works for dd.

edodgy · 01/01/2006 15:38

Make sure her room is not too warm central heating on in my room makes it hard for me to switch off at night, dont know why but it does.

Original poster

unicorn · 01/01/2006 23:25

thanks all..

warm milk is.... euuuuuk.. to her.. as she doesn't drink it.
bath time is usually play time with brother - so not a good time to chill out.

the central heating could be an issue though, as she does complain about being too warm (when the rest of us shiver!)

basically tho she is a hypersensitive child who gets upset by bad vibes...
and, yes ,there have been quite a few since she was born.

So,I guess the real issue is.. how do you calm your child down, when her world is becoming.. too much for her?

OP posts:

MrsWood · 02/01/2006 12:34

You know those books you buy in supermarkets that have a story and stickers that go with the story (you put them instead of a word...)... Dim the lights (dim switch is really good as you can control the enviroment and make it as soothing as you want for her) - give her the book (those are usually very popular princess stories so she'd probably like it) and explain to her how it works - stickers are at the back and correspond with the spaces so she won't need your help to see where the sticker should go. This should, with the help of dimmed lights, help her relax and get tired on her own. Failing that, maybe you could record yourself reading her favorite story, and then play it to her every night so that way she's "with you" and maybe the soothing tone of your voice will make her tired and relaxed.

JackieNo · 02/01/2006 13:37

How about the Guatemalan worry dolls ? You could do them together at first and then get her to do them herself, maybe. Not sure if it would work if there isn't something particular worrying her, though.

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