Newborn won't be laid down. Any advice?

[natwebb79]

Our newborn is 2days old and we are over the moon with everything so far. One thing we're a little anxious about is that he will not be put down in his crib or Moses basket. He screams the place down and gets in a real state. We've ended up doing the last 2 nights in shifts where I'll feed and cuddle him for a couple of hours, then my partner takes him so I can sleep a couple of hours etc. We've basically ended up with a kind of over indulgent co-sleeping thing which we really don't want! Is this normal for such a young baby ( and will sort itself out with effort) or do you have any tips?

I've had 2 like that and 1 that was fine. Both dc that couldn't lie down had reflux. Probably too soon to tell for yours yet but I'd find out a bit about it just in case.

Congratulations on your new baby!

He is so very very young, please don't worry about this kind of thing yet! You have lots of time to work out how the 3 of you feel about self-settling, co-sleeping etc. At this stage, just do whatever it takes to maximise your total amount of sleep!

Ah bless you all and congrats.
He has only just come out just imagine how he feels put down on his own.

Try warming the sheets with a hot water bottle and also i wrapped my dd in my worn nightie when i was in hospital and she slept for a while.

Is he swaddled? If not do it.

Does he dislike being laid flat?If so maybe keep an eye out for reflux symptoms over the following weeks.

Congratulations on your new baby!
DS screamed the first night he was back from hospital and put in his cot, then fell asleep cuddled. I think even a Moses basket seems huge to a tiny baby who has spent nine months in the womb. Ours often hated being in his Moses basket at night even if it was on the bed next to us (he was usually fine in the day for some reason). We started co-sleeping and it was definitely worth it; just have a look at the guidelines on how to make sure it is safe. Also, have you got a sling you can use during the day so you can have your hands free? Stretchy wraps are good for newborns.

Perfectly normal and totally to be expected. You are not being 'indulgent' you are doing exactly what is right. Small babies are actually very sensible and have needs, not wants. Your DS wants to be cuddled because a part of his brain knows that it's absolutely essential for proper brain development. All the research shows that the more babies are cuddled at a younger age, the better their brains develop, the more independent and courageous they are when they're a bit older, and the better their systems mature. Think of it as an investment. You may also find that wearing him during the day in a sling helps him to have the confidence to sleep apart from you at night (though obviously still in your room).

Two good resources are Dr Sears on Babywearing (google it) and the book I'm recommending to everyone I can at the moment - What Every Parent Needs to Know. It's a revelation. Apart from anything else it's the first book I've ever encountered that says "Babies are AWFUL sleepers! It is not a reflection on your parenting skills if your baby does not sleep well!"

I am guessing you haven't tried a dummy yet. It may go against what you wanted, but some babies are really comforted by sucking, especially refluxy babies. You may have to persist a little to begin with while he gets used to it

Definitely try swaddling if you haven't already, in a cloth that you've slept with so it smells of you. Also try an alarm clock with an audible tick in Moses basket too (obviously make sure alarm is off.)It sounds like mums heartbeat.
If you get baby really settled yet they can never stay flat for long consider reflux. DD never slept longer than 20m until she was 8w old and we got a reflux sleep wedge and decent meds.

swaddle fan here as well. the best things ever invented in my opinion

Yep, swaddling is brilliant - give it a go.

Biut if that fails, just do what you have to do to get some sleep. Don't worry about bad habits etc etc . It's all very normal and you just have to find a way to survive until they grow up a bit!

With my first I said worriedly to the nurse on the maternity ward "she doesn't want me to put her down"

"Well" she said "don't put her down then!"

Best advice anyone ever gave me!

just going to say the same thing as the others :). We did the same for the first week, then wrapped up DDs in one of our T-shirts and swaddled. They both soon got used to the cot and all was well.

Enjoy all the cuddles! It's a magical time when they're so tiny.

Someone wise on here told me to make up DS's Moses basket using the t-shirt i'd worn the day before as the bottom sheet so he could smell me and feel safe. Also, use a hot water bottle to warm the sheets before you put him down. Obviously remove it before he goes in the basket!

Otherwise, just enjoy those newborn cuddles! It breaks DP's heart that LO no longer wants to sleep on his chest!

Please try to relax and enjoy the cuddles. You can't indulge a baby - only respond to important needs.
Another swaddle fan - dd wriggled out of it at first so we didn't persevere thinking she didn't like it. Then we realised we weren't doing it tight enough! She went from sleeping 3 hrs to 5 hrs at a stretch! Hot water bottle in basket before you put baby in ...