Jekyl & Hyde 6 year old DD worrying behaviour patterns.

[MeelysMummy]

I'd love some advice if anyone has had or is having similar problems.
My DD is 6 in a few weeks time and for as long as I can remember she does what my husband and I call the Jekyl and Hyde thing! We have 3/4 angel and 1/4 demon and the transformation is incredible.
This may sound like a normal 6 year old girl except the switch is for around 10 days solid then we have perhaps 6 weeks of perfect little angel.

It's insane. I have this amazing, laid back, sweet, easy going little mate who I can trust out of my sight to be a perfect little darling, then the transformation come and WOW it happens over night! She is suddenly a whiny, naughty, grumpy, miserable brat who cries at the drop of a hat. She's mean, moody and nasty and it lasts all day, every day for around 10 days then it's like someone switches the naughty switch off again and my angel comes back to me.

When she was very small we put it down to growth spurts or virus's, sleep problems and pretty much anything else we could come up with when we were clutching at straws.
As she is now older we try to see if she's having problems perhaps with school or her friends etc. Nothing seems to come out except she'll go along with a line that she's given like my dad said 'Oh, she's maybe just over-tired' so for the next day or 2 she'll say 'It's not my fault, I'm over-tired'.

She complains of headaches quite often but they are never so bad that she can't be distracted from it.

Can anyone offer any advice please?

I was going to say growth developmental spurt??? My eldest was like this. He's nearly 8 now, and thankfully, it is becoming less obvious and I think he is learning to control his emotions, but he used to be very similar.

He would be the most amazing, well behaved boy for 90% of the time, and then we would have periods of between 5-7 days when he was just so upset and sensitive.

I could actually see that his concentration suffered, and he would knock into things, and trip over far more than usual. He would also have bad nightmares, cry a lot, and generally be out of sorts.

Then, as if by magic, he would wake up one day and be back to normal.

It started as quite a small baby (he had bad colic), and I always thought it was more development than growth - the very worst time was a period of 6 weeks just before his 2nd Birthday, and at the end of it he started to talk.

Interestingly, none of my friend's children did this, but his nursery and school teachers etc all noticed it with him, and put it down to growth/development spurts.

As I say, he's nearly 8 now, and we haven't had a wobble since halfway through last year, so he seems to have finally come through it.

From what you are saying, she has been like this for a long time? Several years?

This sounds really cyclical - following a pattern, quite strongly. If she was a little older, and it was a problem that had developed over the past few months, I'd be suggesting hormones related to early puberty.....

I think you should write down as many details as you can remember about her moods/behaviour over the last few months, and the headaches too (when does she get them? all the time, when she's "good" or when she's "bad"?).
Take the written details to your GP and discuss this situation (and how long it's been going on for).

The headaches may or may not be related to the behaviour, either way, it is not normal for a 6 year old to be having lots of headaches. Something is causing them. You need to try and find out what.
Has her eyesight been checked recently? Does she get them after eating certain foods? The headache could be Migraine - Kids Migraine can be a bit different to a typical adult Migraine, ask her if she gets throbbing pain at the back if her neck when she has bent her down (doing a bow), has tummy pain/feel sick, or has zig zags patterns or flashes in her eyes before her headache? Also is the headache sometimes on only one side?

@ sittinginthesun - What a relief to hear someone who has had a similar experience! Thank you for posting, thank you so very much!

@oldmum42 to be honest, we sometimes joke about her having PMS! My husband suffered migraines as a child and DD does sometimes complain of visual things (going to places in the car make her eyes go zig-zaggy!) and tummy aches.
We had her eyes tested and also went to an orthoptic clinic after a routine check at school showed a minor problem but they are not too worried.
DD always says her headaches are on her forehead and her tummy aches around her belly button.

I have thought today it would be a good idea to keep a diary of the changes and things, I think there is such a long gap between the 'flip' that I always think she's outgrown it and then it takes me competely by surprise when it happens again.

Thanks so much for the replies. x x

Sounds like it could be Migraine, it often runs in the family.

One of my DS inherited my Migraines but rarely gets them now (he's 17). They would really throw him off kilter for maybe 4 days (a day feeling not quite right, a day or 2 of headache an a day or two of feeling rough after wards).

Well worth seeing the GP, as if it's Migraine, there are a couple of fantastic drugs available, and he/she may be able to suggest triggers to avoid.

Fewer Headaches may have a very positive effect on her overall behaviors :)