This is a strange question, but it's playing on my mind because DH seems to have suddenly noticed that DD is really unhappy at school. Or so she has told him. I can't see much evidence of it myself. She IS shy, but I was painfully shy as a child and so was DH. We both were bullied at school and had pretty miserable childhoods because of it. Family life was ok for us, it was just school that was awful. DH is worried that DD is going through the same thing. But can you "cure" shyness?
Last night I was out and DH had to put DD to bed. She is 7 but still a real handful at bedtime. He called me to come home early because DD was so unhappy and told DH she has no friends at school and no one to play with at playtime, and that she is often alone and crying on the playground. She said she was "lonely" but then this evening when I put her to bed she started saying the same thing, and I see it as an excuse for mum or dad to stay in her room while she goes to sleep. She is 7, surely she should be able to fall asleep without her parents being next to her. This morning she was perfectly fine getting ready for school.
Monday DD had 4 school friends over. She has playdates with friends from school, though this was her first mini-party. There was a weird moment where DD went and sat on the step and started crying. Her friends were all perplexed by this. DD wouldn't tell me or them what was wrong. The girls all seemed nice enough, and were also concerned. I just acted cheerful and tried to distract her. It was lunch time, and by the time they had finished eating, DD seemed to cheer up.
I'm not sure what I'm asking.. just that I think DH wants to spare his daughter the misery he suffered. Of course I want the same, but encouraging isolation, or to think of herself as 'different', doesn't seem helpful to me. My family were 'different' (parents a bit eccentric and we were poorer than other people at school), but my sister managed to fit in and carve a good life for herself. I don't think it's helpful to think of oneself as 'different' any more than everyone is different, no one is exactly the same. Being poorer than the other people at school shouldn't make you feel bad either. Sorry I am waffling now. .. I just don't know how worried I should be about my child's happiness. Some of the most outgoing, confident adults I know tell me that they were 'shy' too, and that you just outgrow it eventually. It took me til I was about 30. I don't want DD to wait that long... but I don't know how unhappy she is. If it was just a short time at school where she felt sad, or if she was just putting it on because she wanted more attention from her daddy, who has been in poor health and often sleeps in the day time.