Feeding and drinking issues with 13 month old

[Hanbelle]

I am mother of 1 with one on the way , my 13 month old daughter is having some issues when it comes to food , she is very stubborn and will not always eat when fed with a spoon so I have taken to giving her lunch as finger food , the only problem with this is that most of it ends up on the floor and not in her belly , its very frustrating as I am worried she is not eating enough. She is stil taking 2 milk feeds per day , one in the morning and then one before bed , 200 ml each bottle , the other problem I have is getting enough water or juice in to her , she turns her nose up at anything that isnt milk , she is being very awkward at the moment , its very very frustrating and I am finding myself dreading each meal time as it is very frustrating for us both . I am worried she is not getting enough food/nutrients , she is now starting to be fussy about her dinner too , tonight she only ate half . I dont want to let her have finger food for dinner too or she would literally end up having a few bites of food per day , I am at my wits end , I am finding myself crying alot and am finding it a struggle , if anyone has any advice I could really do with it , thanks in advance

Are you still spoon-feeding her? If so I would stop that immediately - she seems desperate to feed herself and I'd let her get on with it. She's well old enough to be learning to feed herself. If she's taking nearly a pint of milk a day then one thing you don't need to worry about is getting more fluid into her! Don't forget that food is mostly water. Give her a beaker and if she's thirsty she'll have a drink. (You could also think about ditching the bottles, perhaps - a year old is a good time because it's not totally ingrained yet.)

It might also be a good idea to calm down around mealtimes and relax as she's certainly picking up on your tension. She won't starve herself! If it takes her a couple of weeks and a few longer mealtimes to get the hang of feeding herself then it won't hurt her. Try letting her do it her own way - even just for a week - and see how it goes. Just give her her food (most food can be finger food if you're a determined toddler - even yogurt) and leave her to it. If you want some inspiration try Gill Rapley's Baby-Led Weaning Cookbook - it's got loads of ideas for food they can feed themselves and how to make sure they're getting a balanced diet. (My 11mo DS lived on toast for three months.)

My DD only liked her drink warm/hot. Still does at 2yr 10. She also hated being spoon fed although much earlier than your DD. I tried giving DD a spoon and having one myself which worked well for a while and before she knew it the meal was consummed. This hasn't worked for a while now so DD eats with her hands. I don't offer soup or porridge but generally everything else that we have. Very messy but she certainly is not a fussy eater and I'm hoping cutlery will be mastered by school :o.

Thank you , some very useful things to try , I tried her with shreddies that I soaked in milk for a few mins this morning and she loved them , not one went on the floor , I also put her milk in a sippy cup , she managed half of it , thats massive progress , so proud of her this morning , I made sure I was a lot less stressed too and ate my breakfast alongside her

Well done your DD! And well done you too - it can be really hard to take a deep breath at high-stress times and make yourself be calm (I struggle with this eg at supper time when they're both yelling the place down, tired and hungry - SO hard not to yell right back).

found these posts really helpful. I find it so hard not to get worked up when DS(14 months) not eating. But its so true, they pick up on your anxiety. My son seems to live on toast and cheese at the moment! Oh and cereal. And my son was awful for drinking water at first, after 1 month he takes it quite happily himself. Occasionally want to feed himself but mostly throws the spoon(and food)!

my DS (now 2 just) refused to be spoonfed by 11m and we just had to give him the spoon and try and give food he could try to pick up with that, or finger food, he's been very dextrous with spoon since about 13m because of it - I definately had to walk out of the room and count to ten to stay calm whilst he was learning (!), as he would throw the spoon at you and scream if you tried to help, and of course lots ended up on the floor, but it was worth it, he wanted to teach himself and not be helped! it ends up being quicker, i know some people who persisted in spoon feeding their LOs and are still doing it way past the age that they could really feed themselves! I found/ find picnic style lunches really helped, like: 1/2 a sandwich cut into squares (soft cheese, grated cheese, egg mayo, even tuna all went down fine), 1/3 sliced banana, a small slice malt loaf, cheese on toast, a bowl of baked beans on the side sometimes (cos they can pick even those up one by one by hand and some by spoon as they're learning), a little slice of cooled omelette, cooked slices of potato, slices of cucumber, breadsticks, crackers, raisins,etc - I picked a few of these picnic-type things and put them on a plate together so he could pick stuff up that he liked, it stopped the tantrums around mealtimes. Then I'd give him a yoghurt and a spoon and he very quickly was eating it out of the pot with the spoon and hardly any mess! at teatime I stuck to meals that had to have cutlery but ones that he could spoon relatively easily when he tried, like shepherds pie or pasta, to be honest these are still the types of food day he still likes now. :)

think will try with finger foods and letting him feed himself. My DH finds it hard to cope with the mess though, constantly fussing about food on the floor. A l have told him, it will get worse but he needs to learn. Quite funny when we were out for lunch and DS threw a bit of bread which landed down the front of my top!
Have had to step out the room a few times and count to ten, frustration on both sides l think!

danthemansmumm maybe try putting a towel or 2 around the table/highchair if worried about too much mess, or you can get those wipeclean rollout mess mats (can't remember where? not expensive) to put under/around - depends if you have carpets you need to save, we have wood floors thankfully so stuff was wiped up fairly easily; mine didn't really throw, more pushed stuff off the highchair to see what would happen... I said 'uh oh' and 'no' firmly but calmly as much as possible when he did this (when I wasn't outside the door counting slowly to ten and beyond!!) and he soon stopped doing it (but always without fail says 'uh oh' very earnestly whenever he accidentally drops some food now!!) mine's now sitting on a mini chair and table (ikea) and the table does get messy but as it was cheap and I can sponge clean it later I don't worry too much :) I hate it if he smooshes weetabix into his hair though, as if I don't notice straight away it sets like cement within seconds argh and I noticed on the bus the other day that I had a toddler sized sticky banana handprint on the nice black dress I was wearing ho hum

oh, also on the point of drinks that you mention - have you tried a splash of sugar-free squash in her water? also, I give a 'strawberry milkshake' which always get sucked down till empty in one go - 1/3 milk and 2/3 a fresh fruit smoothie (i like innocent smoothies as they're pure fruit, so is asda's strawberry and banana one), its good as you are then getting milk PLUS a portion of fruit into them! and they think its a treat, sneaky sneaky :)