Behaviour!

[Thompski]

Hi all,
I'm new to this but am desperate for some advice. My son (2yrs 8 months) has been an absolute horror this afternoon and I dealt with it in completely the wrong way which I am now completely in tears about! He is generally (75%) of the time a good little boy, good natured, happy etc but this afternoon I told him he could not have a sweet he had seen on the dining room table and he literally turned in to the child from hell - swiping things off the table, throwing his toys everywhere and at me, shouting and laughing at me when I told him off. In the end I put him in his room and closed the door which he then started banging with his toy Hoover. This is the awful bit - I then brought him into the lounge and tried to talk to him and he kicked me - I ended up smacking the back of his leg and shouting at him. I now feel like the worst mother in the world and like I don't deserve to be a mummy if I can't control a 2 yr old. I am 36 weeks pregnant and the thought of trying to cope with 2 is really daunting. I know you should never ever smack, should stay calm etc etc but I just had had enough - and after all that he was still not bothered. Feel awful and angry. Any advice PLEASE. Xx

First of all, please don't blame yourself.
You are not the worst mother in the world. (I'm closer to claiming that title!)
You lost your rag with a tantruming 2 year old. It is easy to do and is not the end of the world.
You knew that you should stay calm, but you didn't manage to do it.
Next time, you will remember and will work to avoid being in the same situation again.
My 3 year old DS really knows how to wind me up. He drives me crazy and then laughs when I tell me off, which makes me even more angry. Staying calm is not my strongest point either.
Try walking out of the room when you feel yourself getting too worked up. Put a closed door between yourself and him. Breathe deeply.
Being separated will help you to keep calm and retain your perspective.
It may also, in addition, help to control your DS's behaviour. There is a good chance that he will hate you leaving him and will behave better because he wants to stay with you.

Thank you so much for your reply - it feels so much better to hear that other peoples children play up and that not all mums keep a calm and amazingly anger free exterior. The closed door between us sounds like a very good idea. Once again, thank you for replying - I will remember your words of wisdom next time! X

You are not the worst mother in the world! You are doing your best and that is all that any of us can do. I wish I could say I had never smacked any of my kids, but sadly it would be a lie.

PS He may be playing up because he is aware of your pregnancy - not that he fully knows what is coming, but he listens to you / DH / friends talking about it and is trying to make the point that he should be number 1!