Hi, just wondering if anyone has any advice to give as I'm at a bit of a loss. Have a 9 year old and a 6 year old and am expecting a third child at Christmas.
For the last month, 6 year old DD has been challenging to say the least. Everything is a battle of wills from the minute she wakes up to the minute she falls asleep at night and she seems to take delight in doing things that she knows are not allowed (and would have tried to get away with as a toddler) such as scribbling on walls, breaking things, hitting, etc etc. Every request involves her screeching and shouting at me, throwing things, running off and it's impossible to reason with her when she's in this angry frame of mind (which is all the time when I'm around - she is totally peed off with me!!).
I'm certain from comments that she's made that she's anxious about the new baby and is upset that she won't be the youngest in the house anymore. Needing to share a bedroom with her big sister next year is also an upheaval for her. If I could, I'd love her to have her own room but we can't afford a 4 bed and our room has built in wardrobes leaving no room to fit in a cot, only a moses basket so once baby outgrows that, he'll need his own room). At school she is well behaved and her teacher says that she seems excited about the baby when chatting with friends/staff but as soon as I pick her up from school, her mood instantly changes.
I've tried talking to her about her worries, let her choose some of the things needed for the baby, taken both DDs shopping to buy new bedding, paint and curtains for their new shared room, asked her ideas for names, and generally done everything I can think of to make her feel involved. Her behaviour now is so appalling for me that I'm having to use sanctions such as being grounded from playing out the front of the house with her friends, missing the school disco, missing a halloween event, but she ignores the warnings and then becomes upset once the sanction is followed through. She was given sooo many chances to calm down this morning after a meltdown but just smirked when she was told that she would miss a planned bonfire trip out this evening. Now DH will just have to take eldest DD and leave her with me; feel awful about this but know backing down would just give the impression that she can do what she likes with no consequences.
Does anyone have any experience of this type of thing? I know that what she needs is lots of one to one time and reassurance but we never seem to get chance because of me having to be bad cop all the time. Bedtimes used to be relaxed with time for bath, stories, chatting etc but have turned into a good hour of DD arguing, shouting and being so defiant over everything from putting on her PJs, supper, cleaning teeth, getting into bed, that she ends up running out of time for the nice things. Please tell me it will get better!!!!