Is this a growth spurt, over-stimulation or just bad habits setting in? Please help, my one month old won't sleep!

[LDNmummy]

My DD has been a moderately good sleeper in the sense that she has had good days and bad days, but usually sleeps enough for me to rest too. All of a sudden things have changed in the last few days and she will not sleep! It has only been the last three or so days but last night she wouldn't sleep till 6 this morning.

She also won't nap like she used to during the day and wakes up shortly after she drops off. She has always wanted to fall asleep on my chest, but I didn't think of this as an issue as usually when she gets into a deep sleep, I can put her down for the rest of the night. Now she never seems to get into a deep sleep and as soon as I put her down she starts to fuss and then cry.

She is feeding like crazy at the moment so I am wondering if it is a growth spurt or if she is instead feeding out of needing comfort.

She has her natural routine where she drops off at certain times of the day and when those times come now, I see her become increasingly tired, but she fights sleep to the point that she becomes frustrated and cries.

She isn't sleeping anywhere near what she should be and I am starting to worry as she is getting more and more distressed from being so tired. I heard that babies going through growth spurts become like this because they wake up more often to feed and become overtired, but then it also seems like over-stimulation

Or is this all just normal for a one month old?

Based on my limited experience (one dd, 7 months old) I will say 'normal'! She did something similar to this, and looking back on it it was when she kind of 'woke up' and started getting interested in the world around her. The non-stop feeding carried on til about 10 weeks I think and then she suddenly started feeding for shorter, less often. I think you just have to go with it and try not to over-think it as usually their habits will just change again in a few days/weeks! It helped us both to get out and about as much as possible at that stage - my dd slept better on the move (in a sling more than the pram), and I loved getting out as having a wakeful, stressed and tired baby is hard work and to be honest I needed a break too.

All normal. Your baby's too small to form habits yet (quite literally - her brain doesn't have the relevant bits to form the appropriate memories, which are what habits are based on.) Ideally you need to go with the flow - it sounds like she is having a developmental spurt and needs your presence a great deal to help calm her. I'd feed her as much as she wants and don't worry that you're setting up bad habits. There are no habits at this point.

Thank you for the responses! Its hard to know what to do with so much contradictory information out there.

queen my DD also settles and sleeps only when out and about at the moment. The only problem is settling her long enough for me to get ready.

She seems to want to suckle a lot for comfort and I am wondering if I should get her a dummy.

Glad to know it is not bad habits. I was worried I was making her dependent on my being present all the time for her to be calm.

Will she nap during the day if you go to bed with her? I loved doing this when ds was little - fed him lying down in bed and then we'd both nap for a couple of hours.

she hasn't read any of that information you know.

there's a very sensible school of thought that wonders if parents shouldn't read it either.

one month old babies are renowned for doing their own thing.

really, for at least the first three months, go with the flow. try a dummy if you like - i did with dd1 at 6 weeks and it did turn out to be what she needed, but really, don't stress yourself out with wondering what she 'should' be doing. and try and stay sane whilst she's awake when you want to sleep.

I can definitely recommend a book called What Every Parent Needs to Know - I'm reading it at the moment. It's a distillation of over 700 properly scientific studies of what happens to babies' brains when they're developing and it's fascinating. It isn't prescriptive about what you should or shouldn't do (unlike ALL parenting books), it just tells you what the research shows about play, nurture and care - it's really useful. I wish I'd had it when DD was small and I was flying on gut instinct alone.

that sounds like that old 'babywatching' book that was around ten/ fifteen years ago.

She has napped today thank goodness! But only for a half hour at a time for two naps. I tried hovering over her in her crib after she had drifted off a bit on my chest and it seemed to soothe her enough for a half hour sleep.

@ madwoman

Well my MIL seems to think she is reading it because she keeps telling me how babies are crafty and that I should let her CIO. She is very old school and after following her advice for a couple of days in the second week, I won't be doing that again. I am not a fan of that method and am sure my DD became depressed (if that is possible at this age).

I might buy that book actually. It would be good for a point of reference.

dd1 didn't sleep at all during the day for four entire months. i got really fed up of everyone telling me how newborns only eat and sleep.

the day she fell asleep at lunch time at 4mos old, dh had popped home during the day. we both sat and stared at her in disbelief, convinced there was something wrong with her. we kept checking she was breathing and everything. she slept for two hours. i was climbing up the walls, convinced i'd broken her.

LDN your post sounds like me, my DS is 7 weeks and still in that frame of mind. Will only really fall asleep on me and can only occasionly get him into basket (same at night) have decided to stop sressing till he changes to cot next month and will try to be stricter with encouraging him to settle himself then and just enjoy him dozing in my arms for now. he also comfort eats a lot but wont take dummy but feeds have got shorter which helps.

Actually small babies can get depressed - and (holds breath for flaming) there's apparently research that links depression in later life with being left to cry as a baby.

Rita I co-sleep with her some mornings after DH is out of bed but it doesn't make a difference sadly, its just nice having her next to me in the bed

candr before all this kicked off I moved DD from her basket to her crib much sooner because she didn't settle in her basket. She seemed not to like it and would constantly hit her hands on the sides, startling and waking herself. There was an immediate difference when she moved into her crib... till now anyway. But when she does sleep, she definitely settles way better in her crib. Hopefully that will be the case with your LO.

I just finished a long day of constant feeding topped off with an hour and ten minute feed. I'm starting to think this is definitely a growth spurt. Hoping this long feed will result in a long sleep.

Octavia she became despondent, physically limp, lethargic and wouldn't even eat. I knew something was definitely wrong because she slept 12 hours in a row without being alert enough to eat after. It tactually took two hours of me cajoling her from her sleep and having tried every method, before she would wake enough to eat.

She was only two weeks old but after two days I knew something was wrong when that happened.

My MIL took the long periods of sleep as a sign of success but for me it felt all wrong.

Good for you, going with your instinct! It can be really hard in the face of strong advice from an older party. What Every Parent... isn't like Babywatching - that was an anthropological study. The more I read of it, the more I can recommend it. Something it points out that I've never read anywhere else is; "BABIES ARE TERRIBLE SLEEPERS! IT DOES NOT REFLECT ON YOUR POOR PARENTING SKILLS!" Might be worth getting a copy for your MIL as well - I've never encountered anyone who said that their parents/PILs actually read up on the latest research before dishing out the advice...

It does sound like your baby has a very strong sucking instinct and really likes her cuddles - she's probably not eating during the whole of that hour, she's probably just sucking for a portion of it, but letting her do that now will give her the security to be independent later on. Go you!