Another meal lasting an hour and half

[RattusRattus]

DC's are 6 & 7. Evening meals are routinely taking 90 minutes.

I've had enough.

How can I stop it taking this long. I've tried the 20 mins and I'll take it away from you thing but they just eat the best bits in that 20 mins and leave the rest.

Any tips gratefully received.

Admittedly 90 minutes is very long, but what's the rush? If they're eating it up eventually? I'd leave them to it.

Maybe just leave them to it and if they aren't getting any attention they might eat up quicker? Or encourage them to eat up so you can all play a game or something together?

I feel your pain.

Maybe try giving the meal out in dribs and drabs. So what you want them to eat first with the promise of what they want to eat next. So, for example, if the dinner is broccoli, fish fingers and chips - and they like those things in reverse order, dish out the broccoli first, then when that's done the fish fingers etc. etc.

Actually, having written that it feels like a faff but might be worth trying for a couple of days to get the basic eating speed up then start doing the least two favourite things together followed by the favourite etc. Just a thought.

why do they take that long?

Actually, yes - boys suggestion is better. Leave them to it and go and do something else. :)

What do you normally do after rattus? Are they cutting into telly/playing time or just prolonging bed/bath/homework? I would incentivise some faster eating as well with a reward for fastest which you can participate in as well. How long are they allowed at school?

They get the giggles and muck around. DD1 has been chewing the same mouthful for 25 minutes now. It's not that she doesn't like it either she's just being a PITA and stubborn.

Boys - I've been doing that in the reverse of the eat-it-in-20-mins-or-it's-in-the-bin thing which didn't work.

I feed them at about 5.30 leaving time for bath / bed / reading / story stuff but it just goes into that time and I'm left in a quandry about what is best - a good meal that I know they've eaten, or ditching the story , or late to bed and they're tired for school the next day.

Have you done a proper pasta jar type thing about it - its either carrot or stick isnt it...

Or I might limit the screentime accordingly for the time they've gone over

So if I offered a sticker / sweet / TV time to who ever cleans up in 20 mins? hmmmm. Interesting. Will try that tomorrow.

I would stick to the 20 mins limit for a while. You say "they only eat the best bits" if you do that, but I wouldn't worry about that for the time being. Just concentrate on them realising that they do not mess about at the table.

I would just put the food down, tell them they have 20 mins and then plates will be removed. Then just have normal tea time chit chat, maybe reminding them once or twice about the 20 min limit. When the time is up, remove their plates then carry on with whatever is due to happen next.

I know some DC are slow eaters but 90 mins is daft and I would really try to nip it in the bud.

Sorry x posted. I think the reward thing is good, maybe try that first then if it doesn't work try my evil plan

I dont understand how you're not screaming like a harpy after about 40mins - I certainly would be in that position

Besides which those that finish last in our house might not get seconds - maybe smaller portions to start with?

It's been so long since mine were that age that I barely remember meal times (except for the food preferences - oh, yes, I still remember those ).

Maybe they're not hungry enough at that time? Do they have a snack after school? Perhaps cutting down on that snack, or moving the meal time to a little later could help.

Maybe you could read them a story while sitting in between them - all three of you on the same side of the table - so they don't have direct eye-contact and therefore the opportunity to wind each other up?

Maybe persist with the 20-minute rule, but use a timer for the first 15 minutes, so it's a mechanical thing giving them the warning rather than you?

You're obviously feeding them ok, otherwise they'd be over-hungry, but this situation is not good for you - and actually I think you've demonstrated the patience of a saint. At that age (and at a whole load of other ages), they can be challenging little darlings.

Give them less of everything and stick to the 20 minutes rule, no fruit, no afters etc

I would say 'If you aren't ready to go in the bath by x o'clock it will be too late to have a story' (if stories in your house are loved!?). Give them a 5 minute warning. Don't make it about eating if you see what I mean? Dish up dinner, they eat or don't eat it - no fussing from you and then you say it's bathtime. IMO it's much better if you don't focus on the food.

I would say no TV time until dinner is eaten up (or sufficient that you are happy with). However they need to have bath etc before TV.

So:

5.30 dinner on table
6.00 bath run
6.30 TV on for those eaten and clean
7.00 Story & bed

Getting telly is totally dependent on dinner being eaten in our house! I'd also consider what the best bits are and if they can do without them, e.g. fish fingers, waffles, veg: take out the waffles (my fave bit!), they prob get enough carb elsewhere to manage, 2 fish fingers will suffice plus a normal portion of veg.

Could you have a Christmas Countdown Challenge? 20p for every meal finished in 20 mins between now and then, potential to win ten quid to spend of the toy of their choice!

I would carry on with the 20 minute thing, and just give them less on the plate so there are fewer "best bits". If they finish what's othe plate offer some more (so there is another opportunity for "best bits".)

The timer thing really works if it's carried through consistently.

Good luck x

Are you giving them too much food? Ok daft question, but I'd reduce the quantity and set a time limit of 20 minutes. They can always have seconds if they finish it all in a shorter time.

We do homework over the evening meal.

You know, spellings, times tables, learning poems.

I find it particularly satisfying as I have more than one DC, and I feel the littler ones are benefitting from hearing what the older ones do, and the older ones can have fun supporting and encouraging the littles (We do applause and such for good performance).

sounds like they are not hungry enough.

do they get a snack after school and then supper very early?

if my 2 don't eat because of the giggles, I separate them and one has to eat in his bedroom.

If they don't eat much, that's fine with me but then obviously also no dessert or snacks before bedtime. It's surprising how quickly they learn having gone to bed hungry once or twice through silliness.

I'm with Quicklookbusy - take the plates away after 20 mins and all go to a different room. I would then leave the plates in the kitchen ... if the children are hungry later they can finish their plates!