child still not eating

[Buglet]

Hi all
Have posted before but am nearly at end of my very thin rope now. My 2 1/4 yrold son is still not eating enough. Have been under care of nutritionist for over a year now and have tried all her suggestions and absolutley nothing has changed. He still eats so little despite what we offer him and he is really skinny (bottom 9th centile in that damned red book). I feel so defeated by the constant mental struggle, I think of nothing else from daylight til dark..'what should I feed him, will he eat, how much will he eat, wishing he would eat more or just be a different child'. I fear our relationship is irrecovably ruined by it as I find it very hard to engage with him when I am angry and bewildered three times a day. It's not a phase, he's been difficult to feed since day one when I couldn't get help to breastfeed him. I think that the only alternative for me now is to relinquish his care to someone else as I have run out of steam and fear for my mental state. He needs someone who can solve this issue so I can learn to love him again without worrying myself sick about his well being. BTW, all the so called solutions throughout the www I have tried to no avail, family dining, don't show your emotions, don't worry, they'll eat when they're hungry, blah, blah, blah.... all crap. There are no solutions, does anyone think I need anti depressant therapy?

I feel your pain - my dd2 was never keen on eating from weaning - I blamed myself for going back to work and leaving her in nursery - we attended dietician for a year and consultant and even had cf test. She is still not keen on eating and eats very slowly but I make her the meals she likes and we get through. She is now 6 and we have accepted that that is just the wasy she is - she is still very dainty and when she gets sick it is hard on her as she has no fat supplies (I wish!). DD1 and DS eat like horses. Hope this is of some comfort and dont reach for the anti-depressants yet!

I had this problem with ds2,who is now 6, we were extremely worried as he was so picky at his food, I give him vitamins as he will only eat certain things.
I found that he likes spag bol, so I would hide courgettes, onion, mushroom, carrots, lentils in his meal. If I presented this as a separate, he would refuse this. I think ds struggles with certain textures and smell, could this be the case OP?

Oh god poor you . Ds is 16 months and eats a bite here and there, very skinny too. I have been worrying about it so much all the time.

I really recommend a book called My Child Won't Eat. Its out of print but contact your local La Leche League and they may be able to lend you a copy. It has no solutions for mealtimes but its about parents and society's attitude to children who eat little, written by a doctor who had been through this with their own kids. It seems that for some it really is that they just need very little fuel, especially if they have been like that from birth.

Is he actually losing weight? Because actually maybe he is just small - someone has to be on that 9th centile or it wouldn't exist on the charts.

Thanks... sometimes it's a comfort to know I am not alone. Never thought this sort of thing would have such a profound impact on my life. Guess it's because it's just relentless, I know I must accept him for the way he is but it doesn't help that I cannot understand it and can't 'fix' it. Thanks for the support.

I think that is the thing, accepting that there may not be a fix, maybe nothing is actually wrong and this is just him.

He will be fine and you will be fine. Maybe if you focus on yourself for a bit - you need to be gentler on yourself, maybe take a short holiday away from him? It is nothing you have done. I was your son - didn't breastfeed much, didn't like solids, ate like a bird through my childhood, always infuriatingly slowly. I can take or leave food even now, and I am the slowest eater in the world. 9th percentile is great, by the way. Someone has to be 9th percentile!