Probably a silly pfb question.....

[Moulesfrites]

I am a bit concerned about 9 mo ds in social situations. At home he plays and babbles and crawls around nicely. However, we go to a singing group once a week and all the other crawling babies are everywhere, going into the middle of the circle and playing with the props and instruments etc whereas ds doesn't really like to leave my side, similarly, we went to a friends this morning and it took a good hour before he started exploring, he seemed quite uncertain until then. As a child i was quite shy and lacking in confidence and I am worried he will be like this too. I so want him to be outgoing and confident. Am I being silly to worry about this when he is 9 mo?

He is at a prime age for clinginess, so Id say everything is as it should be :)

Once he gets used to the other parents and babies Im sure he will be more confident in leaving you.

My dd is similar. She is almost 10mo and it can take a good half hour for her to warm to new social situations.

I have learned to relax and enjoy the rest I get from chasing her around

It is the stage-don't get anxious about it or try and force him. Relax and enjoy him as he is.

Dd1 would go happily to anyone at 9 months. She would sit on their lap, smile at them, very social she was.
Dd2 would be as you describe above.

At 11yo dd1 is shy and won't approach anyone without them making the first move, and often will find it hard to make friends even then.
Dd2 is 8yo and will give anyone her life story and more and describe them as her best friend within minutes of meeting them.

Same here-really clingy DS2 is now gregarious get on with anyone but it took him until he was about 14yrs. DS3 was the adventurous, friendly one and he has gone quite introverted. Never project your feeling on them-they are not you- they are all different.

Sounds like your DS has a sensible approach, to take some time to suss (sp?) out the situation then have a good explore. My DD definitely takes time to 'warm up' in new situations, but gets going eventually. Try not to worry, it's early days still!

since my dd reached 9 months she became very clingly (god-forbid i go to the loo!)

been told many times its normal and relax

My 10.5 month old DS takes a long time to get going in social situations. We also started a music class as he loves music and loves sitting and dancing at home (he's not crawling yet), but we've been going for 4 weeks and he still just sits with a really shocked/ gormless look on his face! But I know he is enjoying himself! It may take another term for him to properly let go and dance! Like you I worry that as I was a very shy child he may have the same traits. I think if you try and force him to be more sociable it'll have a negative effect and he may end up being more clingy.

My ds was the same until about 14-15 months. He went through about 6 months of being clingy to the extreme - I couldn't even stand up without him crying! It was a tough time. He's just turned 2 and now he doesn't seem to need me and will go off into crowds charming all the ladies! Now it's me having to pull him away. It does pass... :)

I'd say he's fine. My DS suddenly became more confident at about 18-19mo. He's now a bit over-confident. I still worry about him more than my others - pfb is true!