Hitting and throwing in temper - 19 month old

[kbaby]

Does anyone have any advice please?

DD has no patience at all and if something wont work or you tell her off she will look around for the nearest object and throw it at you. If you have hold of her and tell her off then she hits your face.

Its becomming a bit out of hand now as im afraid that she may start hitting other children in temper.
Weve tried telling her off. Ive also tried putting her in another room to calm down but all that happens is she calms down until next time and does the same again.
How can I deal with it?

Sounds very normal to me. Her physical abilities are out of step with her ideas and wants atm. Think you are doing the right thing removing her. Perhaps when she calms down you can then give her some help to do whatever it was that triggered it. The contrast between you ignoring her bad behaviour and interacting while she behaves should eventually hit home. She won't necessarily hit others but again that isn't unusual at this age, mortifying though it may be.

I'm with you on this one kbaby. dd is 19 months and is just not picking up on the 'no!' message and removing her. I am just hoping the penny will drop one day.
However, I have overheard dp disciplining her and he is wet as tripe, so that might be a bit of a fly in our ointment.
Good luck - you're not alone.

Buy or get from the library a book called "The Social Toddler" - it's really good. Lots of strategies in it, lots of photos of toddlers doing very recognisable things - DS is 20mo and has been hitting a bit lately.

I would say avoid telling her off - she's frustrated because she knows what she wants but can't communicate it to you - heck, I'd be hitting people if that was me! Can you use lots of distraction and lots of positive attention for when she is behaving?

We give her lots of attention and I generally play with her most of the time. Its just those times when you stop her doing something. ie drawing in pen on a book, then she will pick up the book and throw it. If you ignore her she picks it up and throws it again and again. We tell her that throwing is naughty etc but to be honest no matter how firm we are you can see that it doesnt bother her in the slightest and she goes off and plays with somethings else.

I dont know if maybe were being too firm or if were not firm enough.
How confusing.

Hmm, tricky, I remember it well - DD did this at about the same age. You might be doing this already, but FWIW...what I did was make a big deal out of voicing and affirming what she might be feeling (eg nodding and saying 'I can see you are really cross') as well as saying the 'hitting/throwing isn't ok' part. It sounds a bit odd, but DD honestly looked relieved and didnt' persist as much in the behaviour - I think she needed to know we'd noticed her feelings. At any rate, she's just 2 now and usually says what she feels rather than throw - might be coincidence though
I do think a lot of it is a 'phase' thing too...they get so frustrated until language kicks in.