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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Jelousy and new siblings

9 replies

Allboxedin · 28/10/2011 21:22

I gave birth a week ago to my second daughter and I have one dd who turned 2 a few days before. I had expected her to be a bit jelous of the new baby but she had exceeded my expections! She has been wonderful all week,helping me and I don't even think we have had any tantrums this week. Is this the calm before the storm?

I am just intrigued to know when your new sibling arrived if the jelousy started straight away or after a few weeks/months?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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DeWe · 28/10/2011 21:37

Both mine loved the new baby. It was two patches where they were rocky. One being when baby started crawling, and could get their stuff. Other when baby first started pushing their own character and not just doing as big sister said.
The first few months they couldn't get enough of the baby... a real live doll to play with.

Nevercan · 28/10/2011 22:02

Took a few weeks for jealously to kick in with my DD1 2.5. I think she then realised DD2 wasn't going back to the hospital and was going to be a permanent feature in the household

Original poster

Allboxedin · 29/10/2011 19:59

Oh no nevercan, she must have thought you were renting her for a few weeks :(
Thanks for the heads up De We

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academyblues · 29/10/2011 20:48

For us it was when the little one stopped sleeping all the time and needed more than just shoving under my top several times a day.

Moblem · 29/10/2011 22:22

My Dd1 was 3 when Dd2 was born, and DD1 was a devil before the baby came. If ever she was asked how she felt about the baby she always said 'scared' and she went through a terrible phase of pushing over random small children.

But the moment DD2 was born, Dd1 was totally smitten and I never had any more jealousy. They're very close and good friends now.

Original poster

Allboxedin · 30/10/2011 20:12

Interesting Academy, but I can see how and why. Moblem, she was worse before the baby came and the look on her face when she first saw the baby was one of utter disgust but since she has been fine!!

OP posts:

MerryMarigold · 30/10/2011 20:20

My ds1 was a couple of weeks off 3 when I had twins. He was great with them (though a bit angry with me, long stay in hospital). To be honest, he was always very loving with them and now they are always great friends. HOWEVER, he did not go unscathed. After a couple of weeks, when the novelty wore off, his behaviour became very bad for nearly a year. He used to do all sorts of attention seeking things from poo-ing on the carpet to being generally very disobedient/ tantrummy/ screamy etc. We never had terrible 2's, it all seemed to start when the babies were born. Now the twins are 3 and settling down in their behaviour, I realise that with him, his issues were very much to do with the birth of the babies as he is actually a very good boy and much more compliant than either of his siblings!

It may not kick off directly at the sibling, but I am sure older sibs ALWAYS feel something, however hard you may try (I am an older sib!). Talking about it, allowing them to express jealousy towards the baby, allowing that to be acceptable, and making them feel as loved/ encouraged/ reassured as you can, are the main things.

MerryMarigold · 30/10/2011 20:21

(oops didn't mean they are always great friends - that WOULD be an exaggeration). They are great friends though, all 3 of them.

dycey · 30/10/2011 22:26

I have found my ds who is 2 and a half is now showing anger to me and general screamy taNtrummy behaviour after never everbring like that before. His sister is 12 weeks and for the last month he has been building up. Pretty well always gentle with her though. But not his old self... Hope it will pass quickly but I would say it will come out one way or another!

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