3 yo DS keeps saying he wants to go back to being a baby like DS2

[connyrabbit]

I am struggling with a couple of problems linked to his refusal to be a big boy: I can't manage to potty train him at 3 and a half (even though he knows when a poo/pee is coming) because he says he wants to stay little, he constantly asks me to carry him down the stairs because he can't walk because he's a baby. He also comes into my arms saying "aga, aga, I'm a baby".

He has all the excuses in the world as 6 months ago DS2 got meningitis at 5 months old, was in hospital for 5 weeks, became deaf, got cochlear implants, and I take him to hospital or speach therapy once or twice a week. A LOT of attention has been put into him, and understandably, however hard we're trying to make DS1 feel loved and important, he's still feeling less important.

I can't seem to find the words to deal with this and make him look forward to being a big boy.
Help, need inspiration!

Thanks all!

Yes. Carrot and stick.

Lots of baby stuff -reassuring cuddles etc. Lots of slightly regretful references to how much you loved him being being your biggest boy but never mind and a little bit of,' but you need to nap longer because you are still a baby' - like fidgitysheep says. Then more cuddles.

He is only competing for the same attention. You just have to find better attention that only he gets.

But of course. Stupid not to have thought about it myself. Thank you!