9 month old - Sleeping issues

[Becca82]

My 9 month old daughter is having serious sleep issues. She has always gone in her cot at night, whether aleep or awake, until the past week. Now if i put her down awake she tries to crawl and stand up and won't settle. If i leave her to self settle she sits at the edge of her cot and bangs her head on the bars until I go in and try and settle her again, this process repeats until she is almosy hysterical, which results in me taking her into my bed to settle her down which takes up to an hour as she has got herself in such a state. Once asleep in my bed she constantly wakes feeling to see if i'm in bed with her. This results in me running upstairs every 20 mins or so until i finally give up and get in bed with her. It's getting to the point where my partner and i can't even have our tea in peace and i have to go to bed at 9.00 just to keep her asleep.
As any one got any advice because it's impacting on me and my partners time and i'm worried for her safety in my bed when she wakes up and tries crawling out. Any help would be appreciated.

It sounds like a form of separation anxiety, which is common around this age.

You say if you put her down awake she won't settle. Have you tried putting her down when she is already asleep, in the last week? I wouldn't even bother trying to get her to self-settle just at the moment when it is so distressing for her - it's not good for any of you.

I have found with my DS that he sometimes has little phases of not sleeping so well, but they usually pass in a week or two.

My mum swears that with my sister and I, phases of bad sleep correlated with acquiring a new skill, e.g. crawling, walking.

She isn't teething, is she? That can throw everything into chaos temporarily.

My opinion is that you need to stop her getting so hysterical that she needs to come into your bed. Don't let her sleep in your bed alone at any rate. So basically you need her in her cot at least until the time you want to go to bed, and preferably much longer! In this household, if DS (11mo) won't settle then we go through rounds of breastfeeding and rocking/singing softly in the darkened bedroom until he drops off. We don't offer anything other than this. And remember, if she does go off to sleep in your arms and you are worried about her waking up once she goes in her cot, wait until she's in deep sleep, i.e. no twitching, just like a complete dead weight.

I'm sure someone will be along with more or different advice - I'm just sharing what works for us.

Hi Becca82,
your DD sounds perfectly normal unfortunately . I had and currently have the same problem with my DSs. The youngest is 12 months and has spent the last couple of nights sleeping in our bed as he keeps waking up crying and won't settle back in the cot. He has a cold and is also teething. As CocoPopsAddict said try getting her to fall asleep in your arms first, either in your/her room or even downstairs and only put her in the cot when she is sound asleep.
I found that they usually get out of sync for maybe 2-4 weeks when they do something new like teething or crawling and then settle back down again. If you are worried about her falling out of the bed try putting pillows along one side or if you can push the bed against the wall until things sort themselves out.

Yes, it sounds developmental - I don't think there's anything to be gained by trying to make her settle herself, the hysteria will make everything worse. Will she settle in her cot if you stay with her? Are you still bf-ing - could you feed her to sleep for a few nights?