6 yo DD having toilet accidents

[monkeytennismum]

I'm looking for some advice. My eldest DD (6) doesn't seem to get to the toilet in time. This happens infrequently but often enough for me to be concerned. It can be for wee or poo - sometimes I can see her rocking / hopping from foot to foot and tell her to go to the toilet and she still insists she doesn't need to! It's all so frustrating and the most upsetting thing is that I'm not handling it well. I have two other DCs (3 and 1) and have a washing mountain to make Widow Twanky blush. So adding to this pile with more knickers / PJ bottoms every other day is driving me mad. I usually end up getting very cross with her and she - obviously - ends up in tears repeating "sorry Mummy" [guilty Mummy face].

Does anyone have experience of this? She's not anxious about anything and has not had any significant change in her life lately. The only thing it seems to me is that she can't be bothered to go upstairs to the toilet. Can this simply be laziness? I'd like to handle this in a more controlled manner but want her to understand that it's not really acceptable behaviour for her age. Any suggestions?

how about a sticker chart. Give a sticker for everyday that no accidents have occurred. If 7 stickers in a week -a bonus surprise - maybe a comic or pack of sweets etc.

When she starts hopping etc or you think she needs to go, you can say 'quick go and do a wee or you won't get a sticker' Might be just the encouragement she needs to get her to the bathroom

95 percent of children with soiling is caused by constipation/faecal impaction and not children being lazy/not bothered etc.

You can be totally unaware that they have impaction as we were for years and were being sent down behvioural route!! We had no idea our son was constipated because he was soiling 10 times a day but it was overflow so was runny and the wetting was also a symptom. He had never complained of pain/straining etc but very easy to see the signs in hindsight but we had no idea and nor did the doctors or paeds. I finally demanded an xray from a different paed and we got the diagnosis and the movicol. Now having read the NICE guidelines CG99 we can see he had many of the symptoms.

Please dont let the doctors fob you off. It appears to be one of the most misdiagnosed areas. The NHS mapofmedicine website for constipation also explains all the symptoms and how doctors should diagnose.

Thanks for your advice ladies. Having read the NHS MoM site I don't think she has symptoms of impaction but I'll keep it in the back of my mind. Will try the reward chart and see how we get on.