3yo is lying

[mama2moo]

She is currently sitting in the corner thinking about what she has done.

She lies when she wants something. She told me she wants a poo just so that she can go upstairs. (She didnt need a poo)

What can I do? She is a very bright and clever 3.4yo.

what is wrong with wanting to go upstairs? [puzzled]

Dd1 had just gone down for a nap. She is only allowed upstairs if she needs a poo and dd1 is sleeping.

This is DS1's speciality (he's 3.2). He will announce he needs a poo to get out of something - e.g. because he doesn't want to sit at the dinner table, or wants to get out of helping to tidy up. Nursery have complained that he has missed entire activities (which he does not like) due to spending 20 minutes sitting on the loo insisting a poo is "nearly there". It is immensely annoying, but also actually quite clever, I thought . I just try not to make too much of a big deal of it, hopefully it's a phase - don't all children need to "learn" to lie at some point?

3 years old and lying - pretty advanced! It's an important developmental milestone - it suggests a good "theory of mind" has developed already, understanding that other people are not YOU, and don't know what you are thinking, and don't know what you know. Complex mind games are involved in this.

Obviously, society accepts some forms of lying, and not others, as being useful, and kids will soon pick up what is and is not acceptable (from you, from teachers, friends), certainly nothing to worry about at this age.

I doubt she understands that it's something wrong. She wanted to go upstairs and thought she was saying something that would allow her to. DS is just the same.

He has actively started lying when asked direct questions (he's almost 4) and it's just different. He mumbles, knows it's wrong, and does it anyway - for that he gets punished.