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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS is biting his arms. How can I stop him?

19 replies

sparklymieow · 27/12/2005 22:03

When DS gets annoyed or upset he bites himself. He has really hurt his arm today and when I asked if it hurts when he does it, he said no! I am worried that he will really hurt himself one day.

OP posts:

feastofsteven · 27/12/2005 22:05

Maybe if he found other less painful things to do when frustrated - rip up some scrap paper, put red pen on his arm instead of bite it?

Original poster

sparklymieow · 27/12/2005 22:09

he has done this all his life, he is 8 now and its getting worse. We have tried to stop him, but nothing works, he chews his clothes too.

OP posts:

Maddison · 27/12/2005 22:37

Have you tried giving him something else to bite when he feels like this, something he can carry round with him like a hankie maybe?

Sorry if you've already tried this before, if I think of anything else I'll post.

Original poster

sparklymieow · 27/12/2005 22:45

no, I haven't tried that one, I can see that one putting my teeth on edge tho... but no more than me seeing him ripping his skin with his teeth..

OP posts:

ParrupupumScum · 27/12/2005 22:47

Have you tried being very firm about it (but not angery)? "No biting!" plus take away 5p of pocket money or whatever you do, maybe?

Original poster

sparklymieow · 27/12/2005 23:25

I don't think that will work, as far as I can see this a form of 'self harm'

OP posts:

feastofsteven · 27/12/2005 23:27

maybe GP could help, or GP could refer to counsellor or CAMHS - they may be able to help?

Original poster

sparklymieow · 27/12/2005 23:29

he has an appointment with his consulant next month, I think I will ask her to refer him. I will have to do it while he is out of the room as he gets upset about it.

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ParrupupumScum · 27/12/2005 23:44

Am I right in remembering that he's around 7 or 8? I must say I would definitely try being strict in the same way as you would be if he was hitting someone else before getting really worried about self harm issues. Matter of fact, firm- "It is not ok to bite yourself. If you are angry use your words" type thing, I'm thinking. I don't think you should give him the message that you think this is something complex that he can't control.

Original poster

sparklymieow · 27/12/2005 23:45

we do tell him firmly 'no biting' and move his arm away, but he still do it. It doesn't hurt him, which is what I find strange.

OP posts:

ParrupupumScum · 27/12/2005 23:50

Fab. I think that's on the right lines. I think that if you keep doing that consistently and firmly he'll stop eventually. Has he had any other behaviour issues? i think the idea of "self harm" is so horrible to us that we can treat it as somehow different from other behavioural issues and that sometimes that doesn't help. Not saying that's what you're doing, but have seen this happen bec ause it is so scary.

Original poster

sparklymieow · 28/12/2005 00:08

He has cerebral palsy, I suffer from trichotilomania (hair pulling) and I know that is a form of 'self harm' or 'ocd' or an 'impulse disorder' depending on which doctor you soeak to, so I know what it like to have no control, which is why I find it hard to deal with these things. My dd2 pulled out every single hair on her head last year, and I admit I did freak a bit, but she stopped and now she has a full head of hair.

OP posts:

ParrupupumScum · 28/12/2005 00:27

Yes, i remembered about the cp. I reckon he can control it though- and even if he can't it's not good to give him the message that you think that's the case, iyswim! Does he do it at school? I honestly think that this is mostly about giving him the tools to express anger differently and that starts with you carrying on being v firm about this not being acceptable, just as you would if he was lashing out at someone else. Not surprised it's freaking you out though. Great news about your dd's hair pulling stopping.

Original poster

sparklymieow · 28/12/2005 00:30

I think he could to, what aboout a punching bag, for when he gets angry??? lol

OP posts:

Original poster

sparklymieow · 28/12/2005 00:31

I think he does it to stop himself lashing out IYKWIM.

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ParrupupumScum · 28/12/2005 00:38

Not sure about punch bag! Words words words i think. I remember that he's a bit of a bright spark, no? Get him using all that brainpower to say how cross he is.

Original poster

sparklymieow · 28/12/2005 00:44

will do, he is very senstive and I have to approach things with ease with him.

BTW who are you??

OP posts:

ParrupupumScum · 28/12/2005 00:45

ScummyMummy

Original poster

sparklymieow · 28/12/2005 00:46

oh yea, I see the scum in the name now. Thanks for your advice,I will chat to him tomorrow, after I have got some cream from the chemist for his arm.

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