12mth old behaviour

[CheekyGirl]

Ds is my second child and has just turned one. He has never been an 'easy' baby, suffering from colic and reflux and having ongoing sleep issues.

Since he became mobile, and probably before, he has become increasingly 'difficult'. He is generally a cheery chappy, but it's just that he is in to everything!

Take xmas for example, he was not interested in any of his new toys, he just wanted his sister's things or to pull at the tree etc.

Even on normal days, he seems to go out of his way to destroy things, eg. pulling books off shelf, climbing up onto furniture to reach things, pulling tissues out of the box, ripping things, and generally creating a mess wherever he goes.

If we try to stop him, he screams and arches backwards.

We try to move as much as possible out of his way, but since he started climbing (he can't even walk yet!)it's becoming more difficult.

Dd can't play with anything 'small' eg. dolls house unless he is asleep, or she does it on the kitchen table.

He just never seems to stop. He won't even take his bedtime feed unless he is allowed to fiddle with my watch at the same time. At mealtimes he goes ballistic unless allowed to feed himself and put his hands in the food then shake them everywhere.....

He is a very bright, loving, seemingly clever little boy, but so exhausting. He doesn't sleep well at night either and I'm shattered.

Please: advice or support!!!

Ooooh, an explorer....you have my sympathies! DD was a slightly easier (bit less physical, didn't climb till later) version, into everything. She walked at 16 months (14 months, but wouldn't let go of my finger for 2 months) and the minute she walked, she was 'easier' - I think before that, she was bored and frustrated. To me, pulling tissues, books etc is utterly normal at 12 months - and if DS is bright (sounds it) but can't yet walk, suppose he has to find ways of exercising his brain and body! Only one idea, sorry, (if you haven't already done this): give him his own bookshelf of books that he IS allowed to pull off - did the trick with DD, she just wanted her own.
Good luck! DD is a great sleeper, but it got dodgy around milestones like starting to walk/climb/talk - and I know how hard it is to cope with an into everything child without kip (and I only have the one).

i only have DS now..but i can relate mostly. he has always been active. had colic around 6 weeks old for about 2 weeks. walking since 10.5 months. and very spirited. i struggled to keep him entertained sometimes. he gets bored easily. my son also pulls things off shelves..i've given him a bookshelf for his books and thats made him happy. (oh my ds is 18 months old)- also whenever he will pull something out or down that he shouldnt (like our dvds), i tell him NO and then have him help me put them back.

try not wearing your watch for the bedtime feed. if your ds to feed, he will. i know that sounds hard, but he will learn.. (as a first time mom, i am realised toddlers are WAY more cleverer than i ever thought!)

are you able to pinpoint why he may not be sleeping well at night? how are you handling that? (does he cry for example, or just wake and make enough sounds to wake you?)

and about mealtimes, my DS is doing thru that NOW. he wants to feed himself (which is good) but will also make a holy mess with the food. which sometimes does include putting his hands in it (which we do not encourage) when he does that, we just wipe his hands off nothing else.

you're not alone. definitely. coming up with new ideas/games/toys for him would be a good idea. do you rotate his toys? (put some away for a week and then bring then back out and put the other toys that have been out away) we've been doing that with DS for about 6 months and it works good. also, any outlet for his energy outside the home would be good. my son has a better social life than me during term time!!!!

all the best...just know you're doing a good job!!

Hi.
My DD is 19 months but the same as yours. I just try not to get stressed by it all and instead of seeing it as being naughty I try and see it as being inquisitive.
She pulls DVDs out of the rack. Rips tissues up. throws the cat biscuits on the floor and then runs and gets the dustpan and brush because its 'messy'
I only have the one DD but at that age they want to touch everything and would guess that they would want to play with whatever your DD has.

He seems like a normal little boy to me.

My DD is headstrong and a stroppy madam but DH says it means when shes older she wont take any messing and hopefully be good at whatever she chooses to do.
Your doing a fab job and he sounds wonderful.

Thank you!!

We are trying pu/pd atm to try to get him to sleep better!

I think it doesn't help that dd, now 4.5, was a fantastic baby, and still is very well-behaved!! She just never did the tissue ripping thing!!

cheekygirl> how did the pu/pd work for you? we've thought about it, but haven't needed to try it.. touch wood

PU/PD going pretty well atm. Last night (third night), he slept through from 7:15pm to 5:40am without a peep!! First time in his life!!!

excellent!!! hope it continues

Ds was just like this, I found packing a small suitcase with 'objects'(not necessarily toys) a good way of buying 20 minutes' peace. My ds is still ultra-destructive now, at 2.8, my friends with girls cannot believe what he can do to a house given 15 minutes' free reign! But he is also a very happy, jolly little boy.

Last night didn't go so well, so fingers crossed for tonight.

We went to a New Years party today, and I spent the whole time trying to drag ds away from the stairs! No matter where we went, what I did to try and distract him, he kept crawling manically to them and threw a real wobbler when I took him away.

He just exhausts me he is so demanding! Unless he has my full attention or has something 'naughty' to do, he just follows me round whinging.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Naughty' things for 1 year olds to play with

Toilet roll tubes and a ping pong ball. Show him how to put it in one end, and he may be surprised to see it come out of the other end!

Old remote controls/ mobile phones. The backs off and let him fiddle about putting them back on, or leave them on and let him fiddle about taking them off.

Handbags with pockets with zips, put smallish toys/things in the pockets and let him footle in it looking for them.

Purses with bits of paper and old cards on.

Bubble bath bottles, nice big lids to twist and fiddle with.

Big tupperware tub with megablock brick in, to put away and tip out again.

Hope that helps. My boy was just like this, had an obsession with stairs too!

All those would absolutely delight my dd Colditz. And she's stairs mad too! I said to ds 'You live for books don't you?' And he said, 'Yes, and my sister lives to climb stairs'!
She is obsessed with my purse and handbag. And taking her hat and socks off.

cheeky girl your ds sounds just like mine, now 15 months. He is very happy but just so inquistive, and want to look at and play with everything. And he throws wobblies if I try and stop him do something. Its much harder in public - like in music classes or mother and baby groups - he just gets so hyper. He's better amongst family and friends. I like to see it as a sign of intelligence, but then i'm biased! it is exhausting tho - - he has always been a tricky sleeper too.

ds3 (1 next week) is the same. Not like my other two who were blobbish at this stage. The feeding thing is driving me insane. He wants finger foods but gags on it, but hates being fed whizzied purees.

Colditz, I love your ideas!!!Fab!! My ds will love the loo roll thing, but trouble is, he eats paper and card.

Today he spent twenty minutes putting three damp socks in and out of the washing machine.....

Colditz

Was just about to post almost identical things but remembered to read through first! My DS is just coming up 12 months and sounds as though they could be twins. I have a "discovery" box full of exciting (to him) objects which comes out when i'm desperate - full of old boxes, kitchen roll insides, old phone, washing pegs, old keys on ring, purse, scarf, gift bags etc etc that keeps him entertained and makes him play really quietly he thinks hes playing with 'naughty' things im sure - how can they be so smart already???

my dd2 has just turned 10 months and she has started to try to climb (quite unsuccessfully at the mo, meaning lots of bumps). She loves to pull out all the wipes, push everthing off shelves and tables. Tries like a demon to get to the stairs and into the dishwasher. It is HARD work trying to keep her occupied. At the mo she is also not sleeping since she got her top four front teeth altogether at 6 1/2 months!!!! For some reason I haven't been able to get her to sleep more than 2 hours at a time since. At the mo she has a horrid cold and hasn't slept hardly atall for the last 3 nights. Sorry didn't mean to turn this into a whinge. I think the discovery box is a great idea oh and remotes and phones......fabbo idea, I have been finding all old ones and even asking friends for theirs cos she just LOVES them. Gives me 5 mins to put the dishwasher on lol !!!!!!!!!!!!

It's definately hard work. My daughter will be a year old end of january and is getting into everything, especially now that she walks and climbs. What I've done is that I've toddlerproofed the entire lounge. There is nothing that she can reach that she can't have. Lower shelves on my bookcases has videos and similar things that she can pull out and all the books are up too high for her. I know that at some point I need to start teaching her to just leave certain things alone or be gentle with them, but I don't think this is the right time. From all that I've read it seems that around 1 year old they're extremely interested in exploring so I figure it's easier on the whole family to just facilitate that.

I also keep a bag and a box with extra interesting stuff to hand out when she's bored and in the kitchen I have one cupboard full of bowls and pans that she can drag out and play with.

I can really recommend going outside a lot, no matter what the weather, even if it's just a stroll around the park and 5 minutes on the swing. Becky always seem a lot calmer and happier when she's had fresh air and a change of scenery.

My ds (13months) is the same and has just emptied a whole box of wet wipes and shredded a box of tissues across the lounge floor!!

Oh well. not the end of the world.