DS is the same - he's just turned 3! I posted the other day about chocolate buttons, at 2, if told no you can't have them for lunch, he'd be upset for a minute then accept it, now he screams and refuses food for hours, even days. Great! He seems to be taking it better now though with some consistency and perseverance on my part.
With cooking, mainly because there are hot and sharp things involved, we have a rule which is "You must be calm and you must listen, otherwise we can't do cooking together." and if he doesn't, then he gets taken down from the chair he's standing on to help, and moved into another room. He's only just started cooking with me and so far the warning has been enough, at the first sign of him getting silly, or upset, I will hold his arm still or take any sharp knives etc off him and repeat "You need to be calm/listen if you want to help." Of course he's allowed to be upset, but not up on a chair near the knives, hot stove and food which could end up on the floor.
With raisins in lasagne, I probably would have tried to make him laugh - adopt exaggerated tone of voice that you would to say "Socks don't go on heads!" and say "No! Raisins don't go in lasagne, that would be silly!" and then maybe give him a choice - shall we put this herb, or this one? But if he can't be trusted to stay calm at the moment, maybe it's best to hold off on serious cooking for a while. Give him a bowl with some flour and water and raisins or something to stir on the floor.
With leaving places I find that a warning before we're about to leave and giving him a choice of "We have to go soon. Choose two more things to play on, and then we are going home to do XYZ" (where XYZ is something he likes like his favourite toy, or dinner, or watching a certain programme, or to see if Daddy is home yet, etc etc) - the number will vary. Some children find it easier to understand "one more play" than any number over one, especially if they haven't mastered counting. But others will find "Choose one thing to have a last go on" too limiting because they want to choose everything, so a higher number is more helpful. But they do have to understand that number.
I don't really use the naughty step, but will put DS in another room or get him to sit down somewhere if he is winding me up or destroying things and so needs to calm down. The other day though he decided that a drink would calm him down, and so he went off, found his drink from earlier and came back in all calm, it was lovely (and rare!!) - so the sitting down is sort of optional, if he can come up with a better option, anyway.