Would this be a sensible thing to do?

[soothepoo]

I'd be grateful for some advice on whether this would be a sensible thing to do. DD is 3.3 years and very clingy in certain circumstances - at birthday parties, for instance, if I am not glued to her side at all times, or if I try to talk to someone she will burst into tears and cry as if her heart was breaking. Even when we meet up with the friends she has known since she was born, she prefers me to be with her all the time. She goes to nursery 2.5 days a week, she's a bit subdued when I leave her but not at all clingy and she doesn't cry. The carers always say she has been very happy during the day, and I think this is correct as generally she is a very happy and playful person. She is smaller than average for her age and gets anxious in situations where there is a lot of unstructured rushing around, eg playgrounds.
Anyway, my thinking is that if she was more confident in her physical abilities, then her general confidence would also improve, so I am considering enrolling her at a gym club. The problem is that except for the first session, parents are not allowed to stay. Should I go for it, and work through the inevitable crying, or do you think that the whole idea is a non-starter and will make her clinginess and lack of confidence worse? Is my physical ability=general confidence association wrong in the first place? (BTW, we used to go to Tumble Tots, which she enjoyed, but the classes for her age group are held on the days that I work).
Sorry this is so long, and thanks for reading it.

BTW - sorry see this often but can't work it out...thick? maybe!

BTW= by the way

Soothepoo, I'd be wary of sending a 3.3y old to a gym club where parents can't stay. I think you're right to try and get her doing something to improve her confidence but could you find something "gentler"? Our local pool has aquatots sessions for 3 years + where they work towards badges etc, but mums can stay, get in the pool and so on. Perhaps a dance class or something might be easier?

I think sending your DD to this club at the mo would probably be very traumatic. Also IME gym clubs, even at local leisure centres can be a bit serious (but then i'm quite laid back..)
Have you considered riding? My DD (2.8y) has just started and loves it, even though she doesn't like the pony to look at her directly.

Could you take her to a softplay centre with friends? They are boring (for adults) but it would give her a chance to improve physical skills with you around. Again, some have specific mother and preschooler sessions.

I think being "tough" and just leaving them is only fair in a situation where you know they are ok (like nursery) and don't think that could apply after one visit to the club.

Ballet lessons might be good. My mum taught children ballet and never told parents they had to leave. It's quiet and gentle so no unstructured rushing around. Most are on Saturday mornings so working wouldn't be a problem.

Just a quick thank you to those that have replied so far - there are a lot of Big Cheeses milling about at work at the mo, so I'll post more later on tonight.

I agree with Batters. I don't think you should worry about her not wanting to be left. My ds1 would only go on playdates / stay at parties on his own when he was 5. He was perfectly happy at his childminders or nursery - but anywhere else - he wouldn't have wanted to be left.

It's good to know that dd isn't the only one who wouldn't countenance being left - when I spoke to the gym club organiser I got the feeling that she thought I was a bit of a fussy mummy as apparently they'd never had any problems like that before. Well, either they're a tough lot who go to gym club, or the more sensitive count themselves out - as we will be doing, because I don't think it will be worth the heartache. In any case, I WANT to be with dd when she is doing these activities - as you said, Batters, it won't be long before she doesn't want me around.
Marialuisa, thank you for your suggestions. I did think about swimming lessons but again, the ones at the local pool do not allow parents in the pool. She does go riding a couple of times a month, but the stable where we go (the only one to accept 3 year olds) doesn't actually teach them until they turn 5, so until then it is a half hour walk with a couple of trotting sessions on the way. She does enjoy it, but after two years of the same few routes it might get a tad tedious. LOL at the thought of you trying to stop the pony looking at your dd ("You lookin' at me?" ). We do also go to soft play centres occasionally, (I LOVE them!)- sometimes she likes it, sometimes she can't be bothered.
I think I will make some enquiries at a few ballet schools, Aloha. Hopefully we will be able to join in the new year.
Thanks also Kayleigh for sharing your experience - it sounds like my dd is very similar to your ds.

I'm coming in late here, Soothepoo, but my youngest has also been a velcro child. She's now seven and has just started to go places without me. We discovered that the more we encouraged her, the worse she got, so in the end we let her do it at her own speed and she is so much better now. Having said that, she wouldn't go to a school club Halloween party tonight, although she's been looking forward to it. As dh said, there's always next year, though I doubt she'll fit her costume by then!

soothepoo,I think your dd sounds like a normal little girl,remember she's still so young and the world looks very different to little ones.I would be inclined to listen to her needs and not force her to do anything she's not comfortable with.
They grow up so quickly and she will gain confidence by the very fact that you are with her and understand her.
My dd is 12 now and half the time doesn't want to be seen with me,she was extremely shy as a little girl and I was always apologising for her shyness.Wish now I had just accepted her as the lovely shy quiet girl she was, BTW she's not shy now.

soothepoo, I wouldn't go near a gym club that didn't want you to stay with a 3 year old. I think it would be dangerous apart from your dd being unhappy.