getting dressed

[fatalist]

Hi. Why would a nearly seven year old refuse to get dressed? It's been suggested to me it's because he's lazy. Is that the only reason? He becomes so upset, as though not getting him dressed means I don't love him. He's perfectly capable of doing it himself. Yesterday had a wobbly because I wouldn't put his coat on after school. Other children left cloakroom in embarrassment. Does anyone have any advice?

Hi, I haven't been in this position, I have a 4 and a 1 year old, but I'm assuming that you've properly talked about it with him in a non-judgemental way and not got anywhere. I would never say it's a lazy thing, that's a lazy thing to say! I would be tempted to just do it for now so it's not an 'issue' and before long he'll be shouting 'no! I can do that myself!' How long has it been going on? Have there been any upheavals? It's not always clear why something becomes an issue, but I tend to go for the 'kill them with kindness' approach, mother him if that's what he needs, it will be less noticeable that you slip his coat on than him having a blow-up in front of his peers. It will pass.

What great advice lady! Think this would be a good start. Maybe you could bargain with him so he feels he's taking some responsibility, eg. if you fetch your clothes/ tidy up what you've been playing with/ put your breakfast bowl in the sink etc, I'll help you get dressed. I think it's a good idea to put his coat on in public if it's causing a scene which will create stress.

Could it be an attention issue? Could you make time to read him a story or play a quick game before getting dressed? That might give him the fix he's after.

He won't be wanting you to get him dressed when he's 15, so it won't last for ever! Good luck.

Thankyou for your kind advice, Ladykay and Jezzabelle.