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Original poster

Ok Supernanny-Types... Question....

38 replies

FlameRobin · 19/12/2005 18:22

What do you do when the child starts opting for the naughty stairs rather than tidying etc???

Its hardly a punishment when they'd rather go there .

She's 2 1/2, more than capable of putting shoes away/clothes in wash etc. It was always a case of she'd sit on the stairs, then come back and do whatever it was. She now sits on the stairs for her allotted time... and then comes back, only to refuse, and go and sit herself back on the stairs. There is a limit to how many hours I'm prepared the play this game for!!!

Help!!!

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hercules · 19/12/2005 18:23

I'll read this with interest as my sister does this with her child and he simply does the naughty deed then takes himself to the step and then it starts all over again.

In fact will start a thread as other problems too,

Mistletoo · 19/12/2005 18:24

can you stop her doing something she likes?

no television
no treats
no other toys to play with until she's put the others away?

yULeYSEES · 19/12/2005 18:24

Aren't you supposed to take something off them? Don't know if 2.5 is too young though?

DS2 can be a pain and I only have to say I'll put his fave train in the loft for him to become almost angelic He's 5 though.

Twiglett · 19/12/2005 18:24

put them somewhere else .. somewhere more boring?

mazzystar · 19/12/2005 18:27

is it pasta time?

nannyjo · 19/12/2005 18:29

definitely try a new naughty place that is less appealing to them.

JiminyCricket · 19/12/2005 18:30

my dd loved the step too much too - we started taking her doll away instead and it worked. but tbh i would only use these for hitting, really bad behaviour etc, for non compliance i usually distract or take away some small treat instead, or just ignore them until they are doing as you ask - my dd can't cope with us not engaging with her so usually comes around, two year olds, great aren't they

Original poster
FlameRobin · 19/12/2005 18:31

She has so many "favourites" that she just moves on to the next one... No tv doesn't really bother her, as does no treats (mean mummy doesn't give her many anyway).

Is she old enough for pasta? I'm getting to that stage!!!

The stairs is the most boring place in our house - so bar chucking her in the back garden naked so she gets coldness as a punishment (which I think social services frown on... ).

OP posts:
Mistletoo · 19/12/2005 18:32

there must be something she looks forward to doing?

Original poster
FlameRobin · 19/12/2005 18:38

She is a disturbingly wholesome child now I think about it.. her favourite things are baths and cleaning her teeth!!

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Original poster
FlameRobin · 19/12/2005 19:36

bump for early evening crowd.

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Glitterygook · 19/12/2005 20:11

Ds2 is just 3 and the step doesn't always work for him either. Ds1 is 4.5 and if I ask him to tidy up he does it - if I praise him a lot then ds2 will join in and say to me 'look mummy, i'm a good boy' - that's how I got him to tidy up tonight.

Otherwise, it's witholding treats. Tbh, even that doesn't always work.

ohFennelyeHerbful · 19/12/2005 20:19

when mine don't take the naughty step seriously i put them out the back door (and shut the door after them). it concentrates their minds wonderfully i find.

and i can blithely talk about fresh air being good for them and how wholesome it is for them to spend time in the garden.

after that they stay on the naughty step really nicely.

Original poster
FlameRobin · 19/12/2005 20:30

I was thinking I'd be evil for putting her outside... but hadn't thought about the goodness of the fresh air!!!

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Twiglett · 20/12/2005 07:53

there was a great thread about putting a child outside mid tantrum and throwing water over them if they don't stop

RudolphsAuntMabel · 20/12/2005 08:47

I'm obviously missing something here. 2.5? Isn't that mighty young to be stuck on a naughty step for not tidying up? It's hardly a major crime is it?

DS1 is almost 4 and he sometimes helps me tidy up if I ask him, if he doesn't I just start doing it and he usually joins in to help me, sometimes he doesn't. I have never made him do it, I think that's why he usually does.

Yes I agree that kids should be able to tidy up a bit of their own mess but I found that trying to make him to it had the opposite effect.
Anyway shouldn't the punishment fit the crime? Isn't the naughty step a bit harsh for this? I seem to remember that woman from the house of tiny tearaways reprimanding a mum for using time outs etc too much for minor things - used too often these become ineffective, could this have happened here?

bobbybobbobbingalong · 20/12/2005 08:58

Don't do punishment for not doing job, just ignore completely until job is done. Once she sees you are not bothered she doesn't have the power.

But at 2.5 with no Tv and no treats, well she sounds pretty good and I would let the shoes and clothes lie around for a while - the girl has to have some vices.

tracyk · 20/12/2005 09:04

ds would only go onto step if having a tantrum and throwing things (not too frequent YET)
I ask him to help me tidy up but am not too bothered at his age (2) if he doesn't - but if I ask him to put soemthing away and he throws it - then I make him pick it up - if he doesn't I just sit down with my arms folded and ignore him till he picks it up, only saying 'pick up x' like a mantra. He usually goes through his 'cute' repertoire when I do this - cuddling me - pressing my nose and saying beep beep. He does eventually pick up whatever he threw.

blueshoes · 20/12/2005 09:25

Flamerobin, what a clever girl your dd is! Infuriating isn't it .

Original poster
FlameRobin · 20/12/2005 09:31

Oooh I sound evil!!! The tidying was really just a case of last night's issue - it was more a case of any time there is something she doesn't want to do, she sits herself on the stairs, and then comes back and continues.

This morning it is getting dressed. She doesn't want to so has hidden her clothes, and is running away from me if I try to pin her down. If I ask her to produce her clothes, she says she'll sit on the stairs instead. At 7 months pregnant, its getting harder to chase her and bend to find where she's stashed the clothes .

Ignoring does work about 50% of the time... the rest she just assumes that it means she's got what she wanted, so wanders off to play!

(Oh, just gonna blow away some myths too (as nice as it is to try and believe them... ) - its not that she doesn't have tv or treats, just that she doesn't get desperately excited by them, so isn't bothered when they go. )

OP posts:
Original poster
FlameRobin · 20/12/2005 09:31

Oooh I sound evil!!! The tidying was really just a case of last night's issue - it was more a case of any time there is something she doesn't want to do, she sits herself on the stairs, and then comes back and continues.

This morning it is getting dressed. She doesn't want to so has hidden her clothes, and is running away from me if I try to pin her down. If I ask her to produce her clothes, she says she'll sit on the stairs instead. At 7 months pregnant, its getting harder to chase her and bend to find where she's stashed the clothes .

Ignoring does work about 50% of the time... the rest she just assumes that it means she's got what she wanted, so wanders off to play!

(Oh, just gonna blow away some myths too (as nice as it is to try and believe them... ) - its not that she doesn't have tv or treats, just that she doesn't get desperately excited by them, so isn't bothered when they go. )

OP posts:
Bozza · 20/12/2005 09:32

Personally I would use the naughty step for misdemeanours - hitting, throwing etc and try positive reinforcement for doing chores. I think she may be a bit young for star chart/pasta jar type methods but I find at that age they love stickers. So would get some small stickers and if she puts her clothes in the basket she gets a sticker etc.

Bozza · 20/12/2005 09:43

Positive reinforcement for getting dressed definitely. Currently I give DS a time on his clock that he has to be dressed by - its between 5 and 10 minutes and if he is he gets 10p to put in his piggy. Think your DD might be a bit young for the clock bit.

If you're running late and they won't get dressed sitting on the step hardly speeds things along, does it?

ohFennelyeHerbful · 20/12/2005 09:52

actually, i wouldn't put a 2.5 year old out in the garden. I do that occasionally with my 4 and 5 year olds.

in a way does it actually matter if they don't mind the naughty step? Supernanny re-names it a "reflection corner" for the older children on her programme. as long as they are somewhere else and you all get a chance to cool down and reflect a bit, maybe it doesn't matter if it's not actually that horrible a punishment?

thecattleareALOHing · 20/12/2005 09:57

I think it might be time for positive reinforcement too (along with a LOT of shouting if my ds hid his clothes and ran away from me )

Daily sticker for getting dressed? Big smiley on behaviour chart for getting dressed? Chocolate button for getting dressed?

I suspect the stair has been over-used and lost its magic power