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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

sneaking into our bed in the night....

15 replies

SilentBite · 19/12/2005 10:21

Since dd (just 3) has been in a bed she has taken to coming upstairs and jumping into bed with us in the middle of the night if she wakes up ( a couple of times a week). It is actually rather nice, but is it something we should be discouraging as otherwise it will end up being every night (which I don?t want!)

If so how do I persuade her in the middle of the night to go back to her own bed? I have thought about waiting until she is asleep again and taking her down but tbh by then I am asleep too!

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Feistybird · 19/12/2005 10:25

No advice, but this is exactly what my DD2 does (just 3)

will be watching closely for any gems of advice....

handlemecarefully · 19/12/2005 10:27

I had this with dd a few months ago and operated a star chart incentive scheme so that she got a star every morning if she hadn't jumped into bed with us the night before (and a small prize after 3 stars).

It worked a treat.

However, now several months later she has reverted back to doing this: so I'll be implementing the star chart again

coribells · 19/12/2005 10:28

IF DS has had a nightmare or is scared I will let him stay, but if he is just putting it on, i send him back to his own bed and tell him that there is not enough room, Daddy snores etc.
If he comes in after 5.00 am I usually let him stay, but it is a bit of a squish.

Mercy · 19/12/2005 11:35

SilentBite, my dd did this too at the same age as yours (although she'd been in a bed for a few months). Everyone said to me 'oh I wouldn't let her start all that' which tbh I wasn't sure whether I agreed with or not.

We let it continue for as long as she wanted and basically she just grew out of it. She now only comes in if she's ill or had a nightmare.

I should add ds was a few weeks old when she started coming into our bed, so that was def. a factor.

handlemecarefully · 19/12/2005 11:39

Do you not find it uncomfortably cramped though with 3 in a bed? We have a standard King size but it's feels tiny when dd is in it - I think because small children tend to spread themselves out and sleep haphazardly

RudolphsAuntMabel · 19/12/2005 11:56

DS does this about 4 times a week and we don't mind at all. It's nice to get to have a cuddle with him TBH. He used to do it before then didn't want to sleep with us, it comes and goes.

The behaviourist that he saw a while ago says it's perfectly normal and ok for them to do this as long as it doesn't bother you. That they sometimes just need to have a cuddle and it's yet another of those famous 'phases' and it'll pass.

GingerBearingGifts · 19/12/2005 11:58

My sister's daughter still does this.
She is 12

GingerBearingGifts · 19/12/2005 12:00

My DD is 3.5 and does this.She tends to do it more if she wets herself in the middle of the night. We have started a star chart and it seems to be working - unless she has soggy 'jamas.

Mum2Ela · 19/12/2005 12:01

DD (3 in sept) has recently started doing this and I thinks its because she gets up in the night for a wee and then decides to jump in with us.

In the past I have plugged a night light in to one of those timer -things and told DD that if she wakes in the night and the light is still on, its still night time. If the light is off its morning and she can come in with us. Particularly effective suring dark winter mornings when it could be 2am or 6am, and its still very dark.

ATM the tactic I am using is that every night Santa flies by her window to check she is asleep in bed and if she isn't in her bed, Santa doesn't think a child lives in the house and so won't leave presents.

BudaBabeInAManger · 19/12/2005 12:19

My DS (4) does this - hasn't slept a full night in his own bed for ages! I used to hate having him in with us when he was a baby - now I quite like it.

We have the spare bed constantly in use tho - one of us usually end up in there or DS and I go in there and leave DH in our bed!

DH ws put off big time one morning on waking to find DS in our bed, had removed his PJ bottoms in the night and had his head on me, one foot in DH's kidney and one foot on his face - DH had a face full of willie!!!!

Have also found that the European way of 2 single duvets on a double bed helps - DS gets hot and kicks off duvet - that doesn't happen with 2 sgls.

But I know I should be changing it! Not this side of Xmas though!

blueshoes · 19/12/2005 12:30

Silentbite, you asked whether this is something you should be discouraging. If you think it is nice, then just continue? She is probably going through a cuddly phase

RudolphsAuntMabel · 19/12/2005 12:32

buda PMSL!

spruceylucy5 · 19/12/2005 12:41

My dd (5) does this and to be honest i dont mind. We have a big bed and we don't notice. It's funny because as a baby we never had her in our bed.

PeachyPlumFairy · 19/12/2005 12:44

Two of mine do this (youngest for some reason never likes to sleep with us), I quite like it as they do it when dh at work .
TBH, I think they grow out of it as and when they get to the age where they don't want to be Mummy's Baby any more- with a five year old, a yer or two max I suspect.

Set rules (weekends only, or only on nights when I have said at bedtime that it is OK), and then enjoy these last few years of cuddles.

Original poster

SilentBite · 19/12/2005 12:53

wow thanks!

No we never had her in our bed as a baby either. TBH I don't find it a squash, we just all cuddle up. We only have a normal king-sized bed too.

I think I will try the father xmas thing, brilliant idea! It's not that I mind it but I don't want it to be every night!

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