encouraging ds to play a bit by himself

[lewislewis]

Have been playing with ds since 630am - around 730am I decided I needed some time to myself and told him nicely to play a bit by himself...he did a tantrum which I ignored. The tantrum lasted less than 5 minutes, afterwards I praised him for not screaming anymore, told him I love him, and led him back to his toys...and now he has been playing by himself for 1/2 hour. I can relax on the net, drink my coffee, read a bit of the paper....He so very rarely entertains himself...he is 2.4...maybe he has to learn the hard way? He does get a lot of attention, and we play loads, I just feel he needs some time to himself...is making him have a tantrum the way to go?

I found 'giving notice' a brilliant way of doing things ie. In five minutes mummys going to be doing ...... That way you haven't suddenly got up and gone. He might not realise at first what five minutes is all about, but he soon will.

I don't think dd (2.3) understands the meaning of "playing by yourself". Even if she is engaged in her own activity, she expects mummy or daddy to be nearby, I mean very nearby. We are her play chaperons . She is totally different in the nursery though - yep, plays by herself (and other children) a lot.

I suppose I could risk a tantrum, some space would be nice ... but it would be out of her character to just give up, esp when it comes to parental attention. She spends all her time and effort securing/maintaining it, making sure we are still there, calling for us, pulling my hand to what she is doing, climbing into our arms. Hmmmmmm, I guess I am just a wimp .

But I am glad you managed to claw some me-time back. Still waiting for the right moment with dd.

I used to set up things, like castle with soldiers or bricks half built into a house for my kids to then see, be inspired by...start getting involved in and then I would sneak away