DD1 is 3. And exhausting feisty. She adores DD2 (8wks) - but shows this by hugging really tight, lying on top of her, hitting, pulling her feet or hands when we're holding on to her and scratching her head. Sometimes she can be really gentle - but it's rare and it's driving me crazy. The main problem is when I'm trying to feed DD2, DD1 will pull at her head and has this obsession with trying to cover her eyes with her hand (pressing down really hard) - and obviously when I'm feeding I can't just get up and remove us both from the situation. I've tried repeating 'this too shall pass' to myself - but it's been going on a long time. Before DD2 arrived, I was the target instead. DH is never the target and that is driving me crazier than any of it.
I have tried: naughty step, calm voice telling off, nasty voice telling off, total ignore, calm voice gently explaining why it's wrong, crying, shouting, reward charts, returning whatever she's done by doing it to her, threats, voodoo and sacrificing goats to the great Pachachuti. (ok maybe not the last two, but I'm getting close).
At the end of my tether now. Have looked at every advice site I can find and everything they can suggest, I've tried. The other idea - just give it more time - is a nonsense, this has been going on for MONTHS with no sign of changing or diminishing. If anything it's getting worse. She starts pre-school on Thursday and I'm dreading picking her up and being told she's been beating up the other children and she can't come back. The idea of those 15 hours a week 'off' are the only thing keeping me going at the moment :(
Suggestions. PLEASE.