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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Potty training in a week? Really??!!

35 replies

kelloo1 · 25/09/2011 13:23

I've been potty training my DS for the last week, he is 2 and a half. I'm pretty sure he's ready so last weekend we ditched the nappies and went for it. The first 2 days went really well, hardly any accidents. however for the rest of the week it seems to have gone downhill. He won't use his potty, he will just wet himself and ask for more pants. Some days though he has been holding it in, he went til tea time yesterday without going and ended up wetting his pants as he had held it so long. I know he is waiting til bed time when he is wearing a nappy as in a morning his nappy is full. Is it really possible to potty train in a week? I have been off work this week which is why I decided to do it so I had the time. He is back at nursery tomorrow and I'm not sure what to do. He seems happy enough in his pants and doesn't ask for a nappy on so I don't really want to take a back step. But I don't want him to make himself ill by holding his wees and poops in. Advice?

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SheCutOffTheirTails · 25/09/2011 13:29

When we did it and it finally worked it only took a few days.

I was convinced she was ready before that, she was showing all the "signs", but she wasn't ready.

My lesson from last time is that if it's stressful and hard work, just come back to it later. When they're ready, it's easy.

HoneyPablo · 25/09/2011 13:30

Yes you can potty train in a week (or less) if the child is ready.
There is a saying 'potty train at 2 and they will be dry by 3'
Accidents are an important part of potty training. It's about cause and effect as well as muscle control.
I would maybe buy some pull-ups for nursery or at the very least ask them if they are happy to have him in pants. You never know, being in an environment where other children are using hte potty might give him a nudge in the right direction.
A good nursery will continue with the potty training now you have started it.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 25/09/2011 13:35

The thing about that saying though, is that it implies that if you start at 2 you could be "potty training" for 12 months.

If you start at 2.11, they'll still be dry by 3.

I know which I'd go for.

I also didn't find that accidents taught DD1 very much, other than that it was entirely acceptable to wee all over the floor.

EggyAllenPoe · 25/09/2011 13:36

Ime this is possible, but it takes a fairly full time effort in that week to get the point across. accidents are just part of PT.

lots of treats, rewards, and demonstration. if they can use the loo (with little plastic seat) they may like that better as that's what they'll have seen you do.

HoneyPablo · 25/09/2011 13:41

Yes, She cutofftheir tails, some people do potty train their child for 12 months. I have seen it planty of times.
Being potty trained means being clean and dry and knowing when they need to go to the toilet. Not going to the toilet when somebody else tells them to.
Accidents help with the learning process, they absolutely do.

Firawla · 25/09/2011 13:44

if they are ready you will do it easily within a week. if he doesnt seem to be having a lot of success maybe just leave it & try again in another month? but if first two days went well it shows he can do it.. so maybe just introduce a bit of bribery to keep him motivated? i got mine a small load of thomas trains, gave one per day every day that he was wearing pants & using toilet, by the time they ran out it was 2nd nature to him just using the toilet so it got the job done in a very stress free way. he was about 2 and 3/4 though so slightly older.

brettgirl2 · 25/09/2011 13:45

'If you start at 2.11 they will be dry by 3' not necessarily!!!!

OP I would send him to nursery before giving up. My experience is they are uber-keen to get them trained and as a result the nurseries are pretty helpful with it. They are also very experienced so if they say leave it you know it is the right thing to do.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 25/09/2011 13:46

In my extensive experience of 1 child (;o), the accidents didn't help with the learning process until she was capable of learning the lesson. Before that accidents either didn't bother her in the least or embarrassed and frustrated her.

I think I could have toilet trained her for 12 months, or the 4 days it eventually took. Either way she wouldn't have learnt any sooner - I just would have wasted more time stressing about it.

Original poster

kelloo1 · 25/09/2011 13:50

Thanks everyone. I was thinking he might do better at nursery as one of his friends the same age has just been potty trained so maybe if he sees him doing it too he might find it easier. With accidents, he does understand he should be going in his potty and not the floor or his pants, he say 'uh oh mummy, next time'. He knows he should go in the potty but it's like he chooses not to as it's easier for mummy to put dry pants on. I try not to make a fuss if he doesn't make it to the potty as i don't want to freak him out too much. I involve him with every aspect of it though, he's decorated his potty, he chooses which pants to wear in a morning. I think I will see how he goes at nursery this week and decide from there. I don't really want to go back to nappies tho as I feel we are halfway there already!

OP posts:

brettgirl2 · 25/09/2011 13:54

So she was ready at 2.11. :-) Some are ready earlier, some are ready later. My daughter's nursery has a 3+ year old they have not yet succeeded with. That 3 is a magic number I think is a myth.

Original poster

kelloo1 · 25/09/2011 13:55

Brettgirl2, I have had a lot of pressure from his nursery to get him potty trained but I always said to them I would do it when he wants to. There are a few kids there younger than him out of nappies so they have been on at me for a while to get him trained. I know he will only do it when he wants to tho.

OP posts:

Mabelface · 25/09/2011 13:59

Give up for now and try again in a month or so. Just because a child is physically ready does not mean that they are emotionally. It's very possible to train a child in a week if they're completely ready to do so.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 25/09/2011 14:05

Exactly brettgirl, exactly :)

"I involve him with every aspect of it though, he's decorated his potty, he chooses which pants to wear in a morning."

Be a little careful of this. I did this too and then realised that making such a big fuss of it was backfiring in ways I hadn't anticipated (but which made perfect sense when viewed with toddler logic)

e.g. I realised that she was doing as many wees in her knickers as possible, because that meant she got a nice new pair :o

she'd wee all over the floor so she could have the fun of cleaning it up

lenak · 25/09/2011 14:27

We never 'trained' DD as such - when she was 2.11 she started asking if she could go to the toilet - we were on holiday at the time and only had nappies, not pull ups or pants, so it was a bit awkward when we were out and about, but we started to get her to sit on the loo in the morning and before bed.

By the time we were back off holiday she was pooing on the toilet all the time but still wetting her nappies.

When we got home we tried pants for a day or so, but after three accidents decided not to bother just yet, but we did replace nappies with pull ups.

We would ask her if she needed a wee when we went and she would occasionally ask to go herself but we didn't do any rewards / encouragement etc (other than praise when she did do a wee on the toilet). If she wet in her pull up we would just change it.

She asked a couple of times if she could have pants on and we told her she had to go three days without a wet pull up and she could.

Within a month of coming back off holiday she was dry and in pants and has only ever had a handful of accidents - either when she has been asleep or just a bit distracted. She also never really used the potty - just went straight to the toilet.

She's still wet at night though - but we are using a similar method. If she's still wet at night when she is 7, then I'll worry!

This 'in her own time' method seems to work best with DD for most things though. If we try to 'train' her to do anything, she just rebels, we just tend to explain things to her telling her the benefits and how grown up it is etc and let her make her own mind up about when she wants to do it - sometime with a little bit of bribery thrown in for good measure!

lenak · 25/09/2011 14:28

Sorry - not 2.11, 1.11 - she was dry shortly after her second birthday.

RosemaryandThyme · 25/09/2011 15:40

Just one thing from the original post - are you still using nappies at night ?

Parents seem to keep the night nappies going far too long, 79% of boys are dry in the night BEFORE they are dry all day every day (sorry I don't have the figures for girls) people seem reluctant to let go of night nappies and manufactureres feed into this with nappies for night use for older and older children.

Have a go at totally no nappies for a few days, you might find this really helps.

acatcalledbob · 25/09/2011 15:45

Agree that cold turkey is the best - go straight to pants. And that if it's hard work or taking more than a week, they're not 100% ready. Leave it a couple of months and try again. Both my DDs took a week (after a false start with DD1 with tears and puddles) and were about 2.9 and 2.7 respectively.

DeWe · 25/09/2011 17:05

Night and day time can be unconnected. Dd2 was dry at night by 18 months, but took several weeks at 2yrs to get it, and still had occasional accidents later. Ds and dd1 both got day time in less than a week at all at 2.1yrs and 1.10yrs respectively, but were not night dry until about a year later.

Interesting ds (who is my youngest) was definitely the easiest overall with almost no accidents at all night or day. Both dd1 and dd2 asked to be in pants. With ds, it was the matter of finding a time which was convenient. Poor neglected third child.

Original poster

kelloo1 · 25/09/2011 17:49

He still has nappies for night time but he has had pants on every day all day so far, even for his nap, mainly because he wants to keep his pants on. And when we've gone out to shops or whatever i've kept him in pants. It's a bit of a fight at bed time tho cos he doesn't want a nappy on, he wants to sleep in his pants! He's been a bit better today, telling me he needs to go but when we get to the potty not much happens, he holds it in. Today he has had one wee, if he was in nappies tho I would have changed him about 3 times by now. I have tried him on the toilet instead of potty but it just scares him.

OP posts:

jojomom · 25/09/2011 23:15

Both my DS and DD were dry within 3 days. Then at night within 2 weeks. It was mostly down to them wanting to do it. DS was 2.6, DD was 2.3. I don't believe in pull ups, they are just a nappy marketed differently. Just go for it, straight into pants. Lots of praise for the good, (now here's the controversial bit) but let them know you are disappointed and remind them "we don't wee in our pants". Don't bother with a potty, unless your DC is tiny, go straight for the toilet. Keep asking them if they need a wee for 2 days but then let them learn to tell you. After they are dry for a couple of weeks and have proven they have bladder control then do pants of a night time too. Be prepared to change sheets two or three times but go for it.

UniS · 25/09/2011 23:20

And if pants aren't working... you may like to try going commando under loose shorts. DS was unreliable in pants but fine in loose shorts age 2.2 so that's what he wore for a couple of months. My suspicion is that pants felt rather like his cloth nappies .

He was another boy who was dry at night at same time as day.

BikeRunSki · 25/09/2011 23:23

I think the whole expression is "PT at 2, they'll be dry by 3, PT at 3, they'll b dry by 3".

DS was 2.8. he was ready, took 4 days. Day and night. Rib waist trousers helped - easy to pull up and down.

seeker · 25/09/2011 23:26

If they are really ready, it takes 10 minutes, not a week!

Original poster

kelloo1 · 26/09/2011 14:43

Have just picked him from nursery to find him playing outside with his underpants on. I asked how the potty had gone and they said oh he kept saying he wanted to go but when we got there he wouldn't do anything. I did warn them of this when I dropped him off as he holds it in when he actually does need to go. But from how she said it was though 'oh well he kept saying he needed to go when he didn't so we just stopped taking him' It turns out he had 4 wet accidents today (which is why he was playing out in his knickers) he hasn't had that many at home, not in one morning anyway. I know they probably don't have the time with all the other kids but I was sort of hoping they might have had more luck than me. I am starting to think he really isn't ready yet, surely it would be easier than this if he was! The nursery want me to send him in pants again tomorrow but I really don't know.

OP posts:

Original poster

kelloo1 · 26/09/2011 14:49

Oh and jojomom, we do a lot of praise and when he does have an accident we try not to make him feel bad but make sure he knows it's wrong, 'oh no, we don't wee in our pants do we, it's not nice, lets try the potty next time'. When i left him this morning i said to him 'don't forget to tell whoever when you need to wee cos we don't wee in our pants do we', then the woman piped up 'no we don't do that it's disgusting, yuk, no messing in your pants oh it's horrible and bad' etc. That is not the message I want him to get, yes he needs to know it's wrong but not made to feel it's a disgusting thing.

OP posts:

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