I've namechanged for this as some friends and family know my normal username. I'm so sorry this is a bit long. DJ and I are worried about our 19 month old DS. He seems to do/say some things that presumably should be good, and other things that are really beginning to make us feel a bit anxious.
Here's the good stuff:
He has around 220 words, and is saying things like 'mummy bah' (pointing at mummy's bag) and 'gee car' (green car). He is also saying things like 'uh' (up), and 'o' (on or off, depending on context).
His understanding also seems good; he follows directions (e.g. could you put the blocks back in the box? Could you show me where your shoes are?), he points at things (both when he wants something - although not always, sometimes he'll just say the word - and when he names something he's seen, like a digger in the street).
He seems to play with toys appropriately. Mostly vehicles, though!
He seems quite logical when naming something he doesn't know - he pointed at a hedge and said 'gee', his word for tree.
He can count: he knows the numbers up to ten, but actually gets the concept of counting objects up to three. He also seems to know the alphabet: I think he mainly picked this up from a combination of youtube learning songs for kids, which he loves, and from his Vtech bus which has letters on the side.
He's affectionate with us. We co-sleep and he likes cuddles, and snuggling up in bed - he stares into my eyes as I sing to him. He will often run up to me saying 'mummy' and bury his head in my legs as he cuddles me. Sometimes he will kiss me, without me asking. Often before he goes to sleep, he says 'mummy' and gives me a cuddle while resting his cheek against mine.
He loves books and will often sit through some fairly long ones, e.g. Mog the Forgetful Cat and the Gruffalo.
Things we're not sure about:
He's not especially interested in other children, although he does notice them. If another child takes something from him, he usually just lets it happen, looks at them and looks a bit bemused. If it's something he really loves, he will cry, however. Today he tried to add in a piece to a puzzle that was being played with by another child and she snatched it back (not nastily, just as children often do) and he looked at me as if to gauge my opinion on it. I smiled and shrugged and he then just moved onto something else. On the whole his eye contact seems good if we're out and about and he's playing at a distance - he responds to smiles and loves to play peepo.
Here are the things we are worried about:
- His eye contact can be intermittent. If you are up close to him or he is interested in something, he often won't look at you even if you say his name several times. For instance, we were at the sandpit and he found a car there. He was really taken with it and after playing with it for a while, did come to show it to me (he looked at me then), but after that he was so into it that he just completely ignored me saying his name and didn't look at me at all. Recently when I asked him where parts of his body were, I was sitting right in front of him, and he didn't look back in my eyes when pointing to them. However when I was standing up asking where his nose was, he pointed at it while looking at me.
- While he has a lot of words, his pronunciation is poor. I would say that most of them wouldn't be recognisable to somebody who didn't know him, e.g. 'baw' is ball, 'bar' is bath, 'ba' is brown, 'deh-doh' is yellow, 'die-dor' is dinosaur, 'gar-gur' is trousers, for instance. He also has some made-up words, i.e. banana is 'ma' and hungy is 'uh-boh' (combined with pointing towards the kitchen).
- He doesn't ask me what new, unrecognisable things are. It could be because I rush to explain things, but he doesn't really say anything that could be understood as 'what's that?'.
- Not overly interested in other children. Quite happy playing alone. He does like looking at children though sometimes, especially if they are laughing and playing together and often points out other children and says 'baby'.
- It seems to be more when he's tired but we've noticed when excited about something he slightly tilts his head and raises his arms quickly. He might shake his head once, almost like a shudder. We thought it was just a happy, delighted shudder sort-of-thing, but we're not sure. It usually happens when he sees something he likes, and is heading towards it, such as the bouncy car at one of the local playgrounds.
- Seems shy around new people. Often won't reciprocate smiles if somebody he doesn't know (or doesn't know well) smiles at him, and sometimes sidles away and glances out of the sides of his eyes into nowhere. We thought this was a shy/bashful thing but we read that side-glancing can be a bit of a red flag.
- Usually an initial dislike of new things, e.g. a new playgroup, new food, an unfamiliar book. When he doesn't want something, he moans and waves his hand as if waving/pushing it away. He has begun to say 'no no' but he tends to resort to the moaning/waving when cross.
- He still falls over a lot. His balance seems quite wobbly at times, especially when distracted, even though he started walking before he was a year old.
- This seems to be more when he's tired, but he still babbles nonsense quite excitedly, and can be quite uncoordinated in his movements. He's done it more than usual today and yesterday, DH noticed it as well.
- When he sees something he really likes, he will keep naming it and pointing at it over and over again. For instance, there was a digger on the road and he kept pointing and saying 'diddah' (digger). It does usually seem to be in an excited way, but it is repetitive.
We would hugely appreciate some thoughts or advice on which of the above things are probably nothing to worry about, and which, if any, are more concerning. I will be seeing the health visitor, but we are both feeling scared for our lovely son and would love to feel like we can talk to someone else about this without sounding either paranoid, or like we are stealth boasting because he has quite a few words. We're really not. We are struggling financially at the moment, and that is causing us a lot of worry, so we are unsure how much we are projecting our anxieties onto our poor little boy.
If you've got this far, thank you so much for reading :)