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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

very angry 12 year old

3 replies

tamtam2 · 20/09/2011 19:27

hello i need some advice on what i can do to help my ds he gets so angry very quickly he goes out of his way to annoy his sisters age 11 and 15 he punches them in the head and back ,i have taken away his phone tv playstation, etc,i send him to his room but he smashes it up,other than that he is a very nice boy,i just sent him to his room after punching dd again i followed him up pushed his door open and accidently hurt his ankle with the door and he screamed at me you f*ing b**h,he has never ever done this before im so shocked i have just left him to it. i really dont know what to do now please any advice i would be very gratefull

OP posts:

Jellykat · 20/09/2011 21:22

You have my sympathy - My DS2, now 13, has been going through similar since last year..DS1 did it too..
When things are calm, can you sit down quietly with your DS and ask him why he feels so cross? Are there any problems at school or anything else troubling him?
If not, and he says he just gets angry/can't help it etc, it could be hormones kicking in, if so physical activity and burning it off sometimes does the trick (i bought DS2 a punchbag, but he was getting 'wound up' at school too)
I'd try and get to the root of the problem first.

Original poster

tamtam2 · 21/09/2011 09:53

thankyou jellykat

OP posts:

Davsmum · 21/09/2011 11:27

Yes, Jellykat is right - You need to talk this through with him when he is calm and encourage him to talk about his feelings.
There is nothing wrong with feeling angry and perhaps you should tell him this, however, there is something wrong with the way he deals with it and he has to understand how his reactions can hurt other people.
Be firm on swearing being unacceptable - and physical violence against his sisters is totally unacceptable.
When you discuss it, warn him of the consequences he will face when he does behave in these ways and stick to them - He cannot then claim you are being unfair when you impose them - and always carry out the consequences.
Could his Dad get involved in sorting this out with you ?
It is important you sort it out because it would be a nightmare dealing with this behaviour when he is 15

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