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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

imaginative play - sorry fairly long

19 replies

barbapapa · 14/12/2005 11:26

Got myself into a bit of a tizzy about imaginative play. Though dd2 (turned two a couple of weeks ago) was always on the slower side to do physical things I have always been pleased with her language and social skills. Also thought her imaginative play was ok - feeding dolls, making cake out of blocks and giving to me to eat, making me cups of tea and the latest - pretending she is a doctor and listening to my tummy with her stethoscope.She also likes to copy me by doing the cleaning, ironing on her little board, pressing the buttons on her cash register (which she calls a computer) whilst I am typing this ...
Have always avoided toddler groups like the plague as they often seem to be full of competitive mums bragging about the latest symphony their two year old has composed and that sort of thing. Went along to one yesterday after some pursuading from a friend and met a very nice woman with a 26 month old daughter - and she had amazing imaginary play - was giving voices to her dolls and teddies and all the little plastic characters in the fisher price dolls house. Also seemed to have long complex stories that she was reenacting - made dd2 's imaginative play look really basic and immature
My dd does not talk to herself whilst she plays- well at least not in the sense that she is making up voices for dolls etc. I remember my eldest narrating everything she was doing (though I do not remember how old she was at the time).
Is she ok - should I be concerned. I did look in the archives but got quite confused about imaginary /symbolic play - in fact I think it just ended up worrying me more because of the links it seems to have with conditions such as autism.
Am now officially a neurotic Mum

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 14/12/2005 11:29

My dd was just the same - loved imaginative play from about 18 months old, but didn't start talking to herself and making up stories until about 6 - 9 months ago. She's 4.5 now.

If you have no other concerns about her development then I wouldn't worry too much about it - it certainly sounds OK to me.

FlameRobin · 14/12/2005 11:31

DD only started doing all the voices and chatter about a month or so ago (now 30 months).... before that she was just like yours. The extra couple of months really can make all the difference with these things.

I feel sure she's fine.

(I was paranoid about DD because she was obsessed with lining up toys, and my sister has mild Aspergers, so know about being neurotic mum )

DingDongMaloryOnHighTowers · 14/12/2005 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluStocking · 14/12/2005 11:34

Barbapapa - it sounds as if your dd is doing very nicely indeed, and that you have nothing to worry about - she is talking, she is engaging in imaginary play, she's a happy little girl!

Don't be put off socialising and toddler groups just because of 'competeitve mummies' - IME children actually extend their imaginary play by watching what other children do and copying it - they watch how other children use toys and do the same themselves. And lots of 'copmpetetive mummies' are actually simply enthusiastic about their kids - be an enthusiastic mummy yourself and tell people how dd uses her cash register as a computer - that is very funny and charming!

nailpolish · 14/12/2005 11:35

my dd is 3 now and doesnt have as much imagination as your dd. she just likes to do jigsaws and play with cars. and i have to be by her side the whole time, or else she just follows me around (sits and watches me cooking/hoovering etc) its hard for me to give her one to one attention too as i have a 1 yr old, and i wish she had more imagination so she could go play on her own

but i just keep telling myself itll come with time, maybe when she is less jealous of me giving one to one attention to dd2

dont worry

handlemecarefully · 14/12/2005 11:35

I wouldn't waste a second worrying about your dd - she sounds completely normal re imaginative play.

The 26 month old described sounds unusually advanced for her age.

dexter · 14/12/2005 11:36

barbapapa, please don't worry - she sounds completely nornal and is in fact displaying a good range of imaginitive play. What she is doing is genuinely imaginitive, giving herself characters and involving you in her games. She is also socially aware because she is modelling some of her play on adult behaviour ie the ironing. She sounds completely normal and very cute!

I think you are right about playgroups!!!!!!! Look how you feel coming out of just one visit!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to force myself along once a week as I felt my son needed the social experience (he's a singleton). But I know exactly what you mean. It's so easy to see other children and get thrown into worries you didn't know you had!

Original poster

barbapapa · 14/12/2005 11:52

had to step away from the computer for a minute as dd2 had got bored with computing and was instead trying to decorate a wall with felt tips
thank you for all your messages , it does seem that I have let the toddler group get to me - although having said that everyone there seemed really nice and dd2 liked it too , so may go back - but I will try to relax and remind myself that all kids are different!

OP posts:

ImdreadinganAUTIExmas · 14/12/2005 12:02

Autism really is the new fear isn't it?

If your dd is pointing, speaking etc and wants to play then I wouldn't worry.

My autistic son (aged 6) can't play. He may occasionally pretend to hoover (with a toy hoover), but mainly, if left to his own devices he wander, or flicks things, or turns on lights, shuts doors, hides things, examines toys (but doesn't play with them). His favourite thing at the moment is an old photo of a boy who was in his antenatal group. He has scribbled over it, and he carries it around with him, drops it behind radiators, puts it in the tumble dryer and microwave or just looks at it.

FlameRobin · 14/12/2005 12:18

What did mums used to worry about before autism? Everyone is now so paranoid, and worrying about what to look out for - that you might miss some important sign, and then realise that they have a version of some sort later on. With my sister, it is very very very mild... she's just always been X, and how she behaves is just how X is - it all suddenly clicked into place when we realised that that is the most likely thing (she hasn't had an official diagnosis), and my mum says that little things from childhood suddenly make sense. Where it was so mild, it was easily missed.

But, had we not found out recently, then we would have still thought it was just how she was. Sometimes a lack of a name for these things is almost better (understandably not when it is severe and you are bashing you head against walls trying to get school etc to understand )....

Not that any of that was really relevant

Original poster

barbapapa · 14/12/2005 12:20

You're right, autism does seem to be the new fear. I guess there is just so much media exposure , prob because of the hoohaa kicked off by the MMR. Still, raising awareness is a good thing as well.
Saw a fascinating programme last night about a boy called Luke Jackson who has Aspergers and his three autistic brothers. It gave me a real insight into something I really knew nothing about. And his Mum - what an amazing woman - 7 kids in total and she was so focused and supportive to her kids, a real inspiration.

OP posts:

ImdreadinganAUTIExmas · 14/12/2005 12:21

I think its a case of a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Suddenly everyone has a little knowledge of autism, but in fact they know and understand absolutely nothing about it.

LizzylouDonkey · 14/12/2005 12:23

BP, one of our friends has a little girl the same age as my Ds (1 week apart) and I would drive myself mad if I compared them...her language skills are amazing (she is 21mths and has the vocabulary of at least a 3 year old) and she is so bright. I used to worry about the obvious differences in their speech, little knowing that the little girl's mother was envious of me because my Ds slept through the night, fed himself and had stopped having a bottle!
What I am trying to say in a longwinded fashion is that they all develop at different rates and please try not to worry.

ImdreadinganAUTIExmas · 14/12/2005 12:25

Jacqui is great (I know her) but our reality of autism is way removed from hers. I don't know whether lots of media exposure helps or not. I thought the fictional film last night had lots of good things (the locks, the scribbles, the poo smearing), but it wouldn't really have told anyone about our situation. But it may have made people think it did (and it seriously underplayed the supervision side of things).

Socci · 14/12/2005 12:29

Message withdrawn

FlameRobin · 14/12/2005 12:30

Is it not that more are being diagnosed? In the same way it seems that ADH children have jumped, but before they just would have been "naughty".

Socci · 14/12/2005 12:36

Message withdrawn

ImdreadinganAUTIExmas · 14/12/2005 12:37

NO FlameRobin I don't think they are. I think Joe Public now sees autism as equalling eccentricity, but the children who are being diagnosed are far from eccentric and a bit odd- they have major problems. What did happen until recently is that a lot were misdiagnoised eg with childhood schizophrenia.

I think there has been some increase in the numbers due to better dx, but I don't think that it covers the entire increase.

i agree socci. In my primary school I can think of 1 boy who would have maybe been dxed as ADHD today. Amongst my friends from primary school, I have ds1, my bfriends nephew hasAS, another friend;s stepson has AS, another friend's son has AS.

FlameRobin · 14/12/2005 12:47

I didn't mean all was due to it, but some...

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