What is 'Normal' toddler behaviour?

[BoysRusxxx]

I seem to be a regular in this board the last few weeks!!

My ds1 is 2.8 and I also have another ds, who is 1.7. Some days, they are really well bahaved and I think im doing a great job with them then the next day we will have a terrible day and I doubt myself.

Below are a few examples of the bad behaviour weve had recently:

• ds2 banging press (with safety locks on so only open a little bit) open and shut, I ask him to stop, he continues so i tell him if he does it again i will put him in highchair until he calms down but he continues so ends up in highchair until he calmed down

-I took boys to supermarket the other day. Ds2 is in buggy, ds1 on foot. I warned ds1 not to run off on me but he kept walking way ahead of me, I kept having to threaten him to come back. He then runs off completely, i loose him for a few minutes, found him eventually and made him get into buggy and let ds2 walk home.

• ds1 and 2 both have their meals in booster seats. They have started to throw their plates on ground when finished meal. i had been just making them get out and clean it up but have started to not give yogurt and fruit after meal if plate is thrown but they still do it most days

-collected ds from playschool the other morning, on the way hom, he ran off into someones garden and wouldnt come back. I refused to run off after him but resorted to using bribery to get him to come back.

-random wars over toys throughout the day which usually ends up with one toddler getting a slap (not from me, from eachother). I usually just say to the hitter 'No hitting, we do not hit in this family' and ill then separate them. If they are both to blame I will take away toy they are arguing over.

These are just examples of the daily battles I have with them. On the plus side, they are really polite and would never be rude to anyone (except me) or hit anyone (except eachother)

I try to just give one or two warnings and then a consequence and stick to it. I dont use time out but im starting to wonder am I being to soft on them?

Is this normal toddler behavior or am I letting them away with too much??

It doesn't sound like you are letting them get away with it! You are warning them then following through with the warning, don't think there's much more you can do. I do the same as you with my 2.5 yo DD1 and she is very very slowly improving. We use time out occasionally but only for things like disobedience, when there isn't an alternative, like taking a toy away.

Bloody exhausting isn't it!

Normal toddler behaviour. I would probably be a little stricter than you in some of the situations:

*In supermarket DS1 would have been holding on to the buggy after the second instance of not coming back, or put into the buggy, or on reins. (You said 'kept threatening him' which made me wonder how many times).

• DS going into someone's garden- I would have gone straight in and got him and put him in buggy or on reins for the rest of the walk.

The other things I'd have dealt with in a similar way to you. At the end of the day, you're the parent, they sound very normal to me.

You could address the running away and ignoring your by making your ds (who is walking at the time) wear a little life back pack, or reigns. The back pack has a detachable lead on it, so if he is behaving and listening he can walk independently and if he is not he walks next to you while you either hold the reign or loop it over the handle bars. Meaning he can't run off. (this would work well with the older one)

Thanks for advice guys.

pozzled your right i should have just put him straight into buggy once he ran off the first time. I suppose i was sparing him making a scene but he needs to know i am serious.

I have a phil and teds and i havent been bringing the second seat out with me lately but i will put it back on in the morning. It saves me having to take ds2 out then.

Im pretty easy going about a lot of things, jumping on couch, horseplay etc. The only things that really piss me off are bad manners and running off.

I have wrist strap reigns for them and i used to bring them along to threaten him but i find them really hard to put them on his wrist when he is resisting and also if he is really rebelling he makes his legs turn to jelly so i end up lifting him up and trying to push buggy! that back pack sounds good, i like the way just clip on the reigns. i will look at getting them :)

I swear im not taking any crap on tomorrows trip to shop!

This sounds exactly like my days with DS1 (4 end of Nov) and DS2 (2.5yrs).

What battles we have and both of them. They run away from me and often in opposite directions. I've tried reins but they just scream and make the situation worse. Like the OP, my boys are never rude to anyone and are so polite but gosh they are a handful for me. I can threaten the removal of a favourite toy from DS1, but discipline for the younger DS2 is almost impossible.

When they run amok in the supermarket, they are never destructive and are most of the time quite funny looking for 'sweeties' but I really dont like not seeing them. Really, it's easier to not take them, but this isn't realistic all the time.

Yesterday they ran away from me in Boots and a middle aged women quipped 'it's not a playground for goodness sakes' followed by a loud sigh.........

My response was simply 'neither is it a retirement home' before walking off with one child under my arm.

As if any mother struggling with two toddlers needs to hear a comment like that!