6 weeks old - Impossible nighttime behaviour please help

[camerafairy]

please can anyone help? My 6 week old bottle fed baby is displaying the following behaviour every night and I am beside myself as cannot sleep during the day and he rarely sleeps longer than an hour at night and when he does it is fitful light sleep. This is what he does:

Rigid hard body
Eating fists but impossible to feed
Hungry but spits bottle out pushes away with hands
Irritable
Highly stressed and whimpering
Hard stomach
Flailing arms and legs
Inconsollable
Restless
Grunting/squeaking/squirming
Sucks furiously then chokes and coughs on bottle
Will only enter into light sleep with dummy, cries when dummy falls out

On aptimil first milk, comfort, and closer to nature anti colic bottle, takes 6oz every 3 hours during the day, last weight was 10.3lb

Starts approximately 10pm ends between 4-6am, often longer
generally display none of this behaviour during the day and seems contended and naps well.

History: constipated since 2 weeks
On lactulose and infacol

Any ideas or advice on helping him, finding out the cause and coping I'd be so grateful

Camerafairy - very descriptive list, particularly what you say about the hard tummy. Is he happier when he is upright? The trying to feed thing sounds familiar, sounds like I think he is looking for comfort and then just getting irritated that feeding isn't doing the trick.

To me it sounds like wind or constipation which I think can build up during the day and then hurt a lot when they lie down for longer periods at night.

I think most Mums of little ones have periods of the crying hours through the night and keeping up your stamina to deal with it is so important so you've got to make sure you get your sleep,nourishment etc.

I agree with everything said about baby massage above. You get taught specific moves that can really help relieve constipation and wind. I also found that my DCs were really helped by being put on their tummies during the day for short periods with a thin rolled up towel under their arms to raise them from the floor. I think the pressure on the tummy really helps to shift 'stuff' up or down particularly if its combined with a massage and done after a bath.

When mine used to have this kind of thing I would take them downstairs and just hold them, singing at a window looking at the street lights and cars and often the distraction would calm them and after a period of being calm I could massage them (upward moves up baby's left side) and wind them with my shoulder right in the tummy so they were quite high up or over my knee and then some eruption would come at one end or the other and then better sleep. When I have really been at a loss to calm my DCs down in the early days I would run a bath with lavender oil in it and get in with them lying on me and give camomille tea to baby and have some myself, that sometimes worked as well! If not I always felt better for it. I've also given homeopathic stuff and I don't know whether it worked but it never made things worse. If all of that didn't work and I was absolutely knackered and could not stand it anymore, I would give up and hand over to my DH who would get dressed, put baby in the sling inside his jacket and walk the streets until the baby went off. Luckily we live in London so he could walk up main roads where the crying wasn't really that loud over the noise of traffic even in the middle of the night.

It may sound funny to say but I found these periods quite useful as I would be really quiet, supportive and calm with the baby and I felt like the baby learned to trust that I/DH would get them through it or at least stay with them until it passed and it really helped to build a close trusting relationship that has formed the basis of how we deal with all the illnesses, fevers etc that come through the years.

Good luck.

DD had bad colic and reflux from 3-14 weeks. Infacol, colief, gaviscon didn't work at all. The best things I would suggest are Dr Browns bottles, aptamil/cow and gate comfort milk (need size three teats though because the milk is thicker) this milk is also for constipation, so it may help with that too. Maybe get him checked for reflux? DD had silent reflux and the only thing that helped was ranitidine (liquid zantac) on prescription. Also, tilting the cot/Moses basket, prop one end up with books or whatever. I have always found the tommee tippee bottles horrible, DD used to choke and splutter with them, so I'd seriously consider changing to another brand. MAM are also good.

You could also try a different dummy, DD seemed to keep hold of cherry shaped ones better when she was going through her losing the dummy phase.

Another thing I would really recommend is an amby hammock natures nest. Quite expensive, can be picked up for less than £80 on eBay though. Ours really helped DD through serious colic bouts. You could try putting him in this at night instead of a cot, he may go back to sleep if you knock the hammock, the motion is supposed to soothe them. Retain good value too if you buy them second hand so not a massive expenditure.

Sorry, that was a bit of an essay. Without being pushy, I would urge you to change bottles. That made the most difference. I doesn't cure colic, nothing much does, but it helped with feeds.

Oh, and I know a few have recommended cranial osteopathy, we tried it, it made no difference whatsoever, so just be prepared that it may not work for your DS. To be honest, the only thing that really helps is time. This won't last forever, in another month or two he will be much better. Seems like a long time now, but once he starts giggling and playing, it will all seem so long ago.

Just one more thing (!), I found being out when the colic was due to start was quite effective in avoiding the worst. Maybe taking him for a walk/drive when the unsettled time is due to start may help. I know it's late to traipse out, but some fresh air in the late evening might help you both. Or get dp/dh on the case with evening strolls if you have one.

Cliche I know, but this too shall pass...

camerafairy i remember your pre-birth thread and just wanted to wish you well.

I have nothing to add to what has been said but do agree with others about buying in help. You do not want to look back upon this time with regret.

Camerafairy, I remember you as well (I'm pretty sure everyone was telling you you couldn't go back to work so soon then, too!) - am I right in remembering that your business is much busier in summer and should get a bit quieter soon?

I do think that either your partner needs to take parental leave, or you need to hire a night nanny, though, love. It's only for such a short time.

I know that's not what you asked, but tbh the behaviour you're describing is the behaviour of a six week old. You're looking for solutions to a problem which is only a problem because your lifestyle isn't compatible with having a newborn. Oh God that sounded awful, I know it's unavoidable and I'm sure you're a brilliant mother and he's very loved and cared for, what I mean is that rather than having a community around you, the ability to wear him all the time and sleep when he does, and generally adjust to the rhythms of a newborn baby, you have to keep working fulltime and meet western expectations, you know?

But this is a really short period of time, so if you can possibly get a night nurse in to help, or your partner is eligible for leave, I would do that.

Yy, I agree with tortoise.you need more help. Babies are very intensive and do need a lot of input. Unfortunately our western set-up does not allow for this as instead of having a 'it takes a village to raise a child' attitude we expect mums to just get on with it.

Get a night nanny or have your partner to take leave and share the bulk of the nighttime parenting.

My DD 2 was a fabulous baby, had odd bouts of colic but did suffer terribly with constipation and still does. I feel very bad that I did not get a proper diagnosis until she was nearly 18 months, thinking it was my milk at fault or later the formula etc, it was just constipation.In fact what she has, is an extra long colon so the transit time is much longer in her and makes stools hard to pass as they are more dried out.When she was born she was slow to poo-it took nearly 3 days and knowing what I know now that should have started to ring alarm bells. So from my experience keep a close eye on the constipation and get help more from the HV if you think it is a problem (it may take a while to get the right dosage for the lactulose, glycerine suppositories also help) and enjoy the baby days as they go so fast.

i would try a stretchy wrap or a close carrier. also, may get shot for this, have you tried him with a dummy? my first daughter loved hers and settled her with she had colic-y pains.

Both my babies suffered terrible constipation as newborns. A swift change of formula made everything fine again! IMO steer clear of sma as it's the worst for constipation. Mine were better on Aptimal but cow & gate was by far the best for them although it smelled horrible!

Also when you rub his tummy, make sure you rub in clockwise circles rather than anticlockwise as apparently this helps milk digest better as that's the way the intestines lie in the body if that makes sense.

My DS was terrible with wind. Infacol worked for him. It didn't work for my friend's DS.

I think it sounds really like wind. My friend had to use Colief that I see you have ordered. I hope this helps.

Just FYI - my friend said it was very expensive ( I think you said £19), so she got it on a prescription from her doctor!!!! Try this so you can get it for free. HTH.

xxx

Poor mite and poor you.Sounds like colic.

TBH I would start from scratch as he is on a lot of 'stuff' which may not be helping.
Stop the Infacol and don't bother with Colief cos they don't work scroll to the end of this for evidence;
www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/Colic.pdf

C&G Comfort just has added potato starch to mechanically slow the flow of milk thru the teat. No evidence (as far as I know) for helping relieve colic pain caused by wind in the gut - why would it ?

I would suggest any First Stage liquid for now (brand doesn't matter) which may ease constipation and offer 1 0z cooled boiled water during the day.

I also hated the 'sleep during the day' advice. Changing my mind set to 'don't expect any sleep during the night' meant I would try to grab naps whenever I could over 24 hrs. Any night naps were a bonus!