Does my DS aged 4 have opposition-defiant disorder?

[PrinceCorum]

My 4 year old is a bright, lively little boy. He loves learning, and is very social with his little brother and his friends. But over the last 6 months he has got quite disruptive and aggressive at home. He often hits me (I?m his Dad) and his Mum when he gets cross about something, and it can be something really trivial such as he doesn?t like the way I put one of his toys back in his wardrobe ! I?ve read the DSM-IV definition of ?Oppositional-Defiant Disorder? and I?m wondering if he has this, as he does have about 4 of the listed symptoms, which I understand is enough to be disgnosed with it. But is 4 years old too early to diagnose ODD? He is fine for the two days he spends at nursery and the nursery do not find him disruptive. He?s often also OK while we?re out ? it?s at home he has meltdowns that can turn violent towards Mum or Dad (occasionally towards his little brother too). We have tried time out and reward charts but so far they haven?t stopped this behaviour. Could it be that he is anxious about starting school in a couple of weeks? Any thoughts on the ODD issue?

Sorry. but my four year olds Weren't defiant.....you have to establish that that sort of behaviour is not acceptable from the very first instance. If children know where they stand....their shouldn't be any hitting of adults at all....

don't apologise Titbits - it's great yours weren't defiant, however in my experience and that of so many others, four year olds can be defiant, even if they 'know where they stand'. My ds knew hitting was not tolerated, but he needed some time and consequence to moderate his behaviour, as is the case with the vast majority of children.

Titbots you were exceptionally lucky then,as a mum of 3 children and also being a nursery nurse I cant tell you most toddlers/small children have a phase of hitting out.

Children arent born with a programme they have to learn acceptable behaviour and thats why its called 'childhood'.

Nickschic - It does not appear that we are talking about a child with autistic tendencies because of the way the OP describes the child's behaviour at home compared to different settings.(See post by Orangeone)

Babyheave - Please note I said... "I personally believe" not 'In my professional opinion.' I am, like everyone else, entitled to my own opinion.
Do you have any professional qualifications to boost of, that make you qualified to say I am wrong.

No two children are exactly alike. IMO, 4 years old is too young to be stuck with a label that may follow you for the rest of your life (especially if it is incorrect).

You don't have to be a bad parent to have difficult times in parenting your children. Some stages are easier than others and even the best parents (if there is such a thing) will feel out of their depth on occassion. There is no shame is asking for help when it is needed.

So glad that ODD is just bad behaviour and lack of boundaries. I will inform my aged parents. Really Pang, so judgemental? I'm 52 and it's part of my diagnosis. I know what the boundaries are, and obviously at my age, I'm far better at controlling things, particularly as I have a large family of my own, but occasionally I'll buck the system, in other words, I have never completely 'grown out of it'. It is a medical condition, it does exist, whether you choose to believe it or not.

Lenin this label thing is quite confusing isnt it?

Ive said it before Ill say it again .....theres a place for everyone in this world.

Wow, some of the last few posts actually address my original post and don't attempt to hijack the thread and turn it into a massive debate about seeking diagnoses etc - thanks ;-)