Please reassure me that it doesn't matter if my 7yr old still has stabilisers on his bike

[JemimaMuddledUp]

DS2 is 7. He is small for his age, and has always had problems with balance and motor skills (late to walk, late to write, late to jump confidently, late to pedal a trike etc etc).

He has been riding a bike with stabilisers for a couple of years. But last year he got really upset as his friends in school were teasing him for still having stabilisers. He didn't want to take his bike to school as they took the mickey out of him.

So we bought him a bigger bike (which he needed anyway) which didn't have stabilisers. This was at Easter. We have spent the past 4 months trying to teach him to ride without stabilisers, and it just isn't working. We have taken the pedals off so he learsn to balance, ran up and down the road holding onto the back of his seat, let him go on small hills... he just falls off. And cries. He just isn't ready yet.

Last night I took the stabilisers off his old bike and put them onto his new one. He is now riding up and down the road with stabilisers, happy as larry.

But we have already been asked by a neighbour if there is "something wrong" with DS2 as he still has stabilisers and her 4 year old can ride without them. This was said within DS2's earshot. I know that his friends in school will take the mickey, and it seems that other parents will think there is "something wrong" with him too.

I have told DS2 that different people learn to do things at different rates. He is very good at reading, and I'm sure not all of the non stabiliser bike riders could read the books that he does. I've explained to him that this is OK, and that just as he wouldn't go up to someone and call them stupid because they couldn't read something that he could they shouldn't say he is a baby because he still needs stabilisers.

I really don't want him to be picked on about it, but there is no point taking his stabilisers off if he just isn't ready yet, is there?

Jemima - DD2 is eight and still has a bike with stabilisers. She can ride another bike without but always goes back to her 'first' bike. She loves just pootling about the garden on it.......

My sisters are twins and one 'taught' herself to ride a two wheeler (chunky tyres and very small) when she was about 4. Her sister did not ride a two-wheeler unaided until she was about 9. As others say everyone is different and I think it is a matter of 'getting' it. The clicking-into-place moment can't be forced. Your neighbour is just rude and/or thoughtless. Sometimes if they are older there will be added determination to help them rather than just physical readiness.

dd1 cant ride a scooter either (just shuffles along) , we have just got her a 2nd hand bike without stabisers and she refuses to go near it.

Just wanted to add, DD (5.5 years) seems far from riding bicycle without stabilisers. Slowish even with them. She has low muscle tone (late to walk, jump etc) and balance is not great.

We are doing strengthing exercises via OT and physio. We are seeing some improvement but think the stabilisers could be on for a while yet! Until her balance is better and she can build up enough momentum, I shouldn't think she will be able to manage without them. Bit shuffly on the scooter too.

Its not a big issue for her at present, but I can see how it could be in the near future. She is much better than she was on play equipment, so we do tend to go with that. I do sometimes think we should be trying a bit harder with the bike but her confidence can be delicate at times, so we take the line of least resistance and go with what she can feel good about.

Def glad we got help though.

that was a big error of judgment by the neighbour.

I hope your reaction was memorable but something tells me you were too polite to slap him/her.

PS and of course you already know that he will never ever be asked in a job interview at what age he removed his stabilisers.

OP there is nothing wrong with your 7 year old still having stabilisers on his bike. DD1 didn't manage to ride a bike until she was 9. My nephew could ride one at 4 He actually managed to rude before his older sister.

my ds(10) only just learnt to ride a bike this summer, we didn't bother with stabilisers at all and he just did it.

OP, DS1 learned to ride on two wheels at 7.6yrs old. DS2 did it at 3yo. They're all different :) ds1's dyslexic and so we could assume a degree of dyspraxia, but bollocks to the labels he's just him. Like you I bought him a slightly bigger/better bike, ran after him holding the seat (and somewhat knackered my back) I only learned to ride at six myself, and later went on to be a PE teacher. I was just terrified of going fast enough to keep upright iyswim. Please don't worry too much, lots of research shows different rates of development for this sort of stuff. He'll decide to do it when he;s ready.

Thank you for all your replies.

I have calmed down a bit now (I was really upset with my neighbour's comments, and you are right I was too polite to slap her!). I know in my head that there is nothing wrong with a 7 year old having stabilisers, its just other children (and their parents) can be cruel, probably without really realising that they are.

Stupid ignorant neighbour. My DD just learned to ride at age 9. I meanly wouldn't let her have stabilisers as I knew we would be stuck with them so we did it cold turkey, with a low seat and both feet scooting along the ground.

thinking outside the box: could you ditch the bike and get him something like a kmx kart instead? That and a full face helmet and he would be the envy of all the kids at school...

Its funny you mention karts actually as he had a great time over the summer riding on pedal go karts at a farm we visited. I am thinking of getting him one for Christmas. You are right - his mates would think it was incredibly cool and probably be pestering their parents to ditch their two wheel bikes and get one!