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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

omg I've just smacked DS and I feel awful :o(

8 replies

wangle99 · 23/08/2011 21:17

I don't believe in smacking (don't have an opinion on other people smacking before we start a debate here!) but I just was at the end of my tether.

How would you have reacted?

DS7 (nearly 8) was going up to get dressed for bed, I could smell poo and said to him 'have you poo'd yourself' DS 'yes' asked him why and I got 'i wasn't bothered'.

Go up to clean him up find out he isn't wearing any pants 'why' 'i wasn't bothered'.

These things just don't bother him, taking things away (lego) or stopping him doing/using things (tv/computer) makes no difference.

I don't know what to do or how to deal with it. He just can't be arsed to do stuff so doesn't ie go to the toilet although this doesn't happen that often. Everything is the same, why didn't you tidy up when asked 'i wasn't bothered' etc etc. Really could do with some advice. Thank you

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triskaidekaphile · 23/08/2011 21:24

Poor you. :( I would consider taking him to the GP. Soiling at 8 is unusual and I think you need professional help.

Original poster

wangle99 · 23/08/2011 21:29

He doesn't have an issue with it that is the problem, he couldn't be bothered to go to the loo as he was watching TV. It isn't actually an issue he has. He is just a 'wasn't bothered' little so-and-so.

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 23/08/2011 21:30

I think the not tidying up is normal at that age... and DS might not put pants on occasionally, but I would be gobsmaked if he pooed himself. I would be more concerned than angry. It sounds like there is a bigger issue going on here.

Original poster

wangle99 · 23/08/2011 21:35

You really think so? It usually happens when he can't be bothered to go upstairs, poo has always been such a normal thing in his life (he has intolerances and if he gets contaminated by something he shouldn't have eaten it shows in poo) so whereas another boy his age might be embarrassed DS just doesn't care. If you seriously think it might be a bigger issue I will investigate.

OP posts:

triskaidekaphile · 23/08/2011 21:37

Not being bothered at that age is an issue, I'm afraid. I have never met a child of 8 without special needs who couldn't be bothered to go to the loo.

Littlefish · 23/08/2011 21:40

I agree with tris.

Original poster

wangle99 · 23/08/2011 21:41

Oh I had no idea. I will make an appointment with the GP.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 23/08/2011 21:51

can i ask, what is the poo like?

because you mention intolerances, and they can cause big poo issues (as you know)... but that can include getting constipated and then poo leaking around the blockage.

he may have been embarassed and said that he "wasn't bothered" because he doesn't; want to admit that he just shit himself and he couldn't help it?

I actually would talk to him and say that you need to see a doctor, because it isn't really normal to poo yourself and you ened to make sure that there isn't something wrong with him.
this will have the effect of either:
him deciding he doesn' want to go to the GP and he starts using the toilet (at which point you can then cancel the GP)
or, you do go to the GP and find out if there is something physically wrong.

it really isn;t normal for an 8 year old to just not be bothered going to the toilet.

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