Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Still no words at 20 months - am officially now a neurotic parent

24 replies

kitegirl · 07/12/2005 13:42

I'm sure this topic crops up on this board periodically, but I just wanted to see if anyone can give me some reassurance - at least so that I can get my mother off my back if there really is not a problem.

My son is just over 20 months, and is yet to say anything even resembling a word. We get da da da da or a a a a and, honestly, that is all. He does babble with this one syllable animatedly at times and points to things, but has shown no interest copying words or noises (e.g. animal noises). I chat to him all the time, he goes to a wonderful nursery (where they have always commented that he is very very quiet) and his motoric skills are fine - he was walking at 12 months, is very athletic, climbs everywhere, feeds himself well etc, however he can't do things like sticking his tongue out, blowing a kiss or blowing through a straw/recorder. I don't think there's a problem with his hearing, I think he understands me ok but he just does not communicate anything back.

I guess I would love to hear if you have had similar experiences, when to intervene and what kind of help is available. Or whether I should just chill and wait 'til he is ready.

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 07/12/2005 13:44

You say he points - does he indicate what he wants, or what he's interested in? If so, he's communicating, and absolutely fine, in that way.

Lots of kids don't talk by this age.

I don't know about him not being able to blow through a straw.

grumpyfrumpy · 07/12/2005 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

kitegirl · 07/12/2005 14:39

he had a tongue tie which was corrected when he was a couple of weeks old. yes he does make sounds when he points ('a a a a') and wants something. Generally he is a very happy, content little boy, very affectionate - but he has always liked being on his own, playing on his own, never had any real separation anxiety. I am Finnish and it does seem that all the cultural traits are already showing .

OP posts:

Epiffany · 07/12/2005 14:45

you say you are Finnish? Are you doing bi lingual at home at all? I know this can often cause children to speak a little later.
My dd has an actual speech delay, she was not referred until 2 depsite having a condition where speech delay was inevitable, as there is little they can do....
Leave it until he's 2, before you ask a GP etc for an opinion. Given that in every other area he sounds wonderful, you probably have little to worry about
And my dd (now 3) went from non verbal to 6 word sentences in 6 weeks. So they do come on very fast

Melpomene · 07/12/2005 17:57

A friend's ds was similar - still not talking at age 2. She discussed it with the HV at his 2 year check and he was referred for speech therapy. they don't think it's anything serious, because he is good at non-verbal communication, understands what is said to him and makes good eye contact.

If you are worried maybe it's worth speaking to your HV?

Blossomgoodwill · 07/12/2005 18:03

If your ds understands and does communicate with you then it should be fine. It's when children don't understand it's more worrying (I know as my dd has a language/communication disorder)

Jen28 · 07/12/2005 22:11

We've just asked our parents when we spoke.

I spoke at 18mts but I could read and write before I went to school, am fluent in French and German and have a law degree, so whatever!

My (French) DH spoke at 21 mts.

If motor skills and other development milestones are fine, I would give it a bit more time. You might have a gifted child a la Einstein etc!

Does he have a dummy or suck his thumb a lot? Or did he used to? They can affect the development of the speech muscles. I ask b/c you mention about not sticking tongue out and blowing and these are usually given as remedial exercises to kids who have underdeveloped speech muscles.

Cristina7 · 07/12/2005 22:14

Kitegirl - I'd have his hearing tested as even a slight hearing loss, due for example to persistent glue ear, can delay speech at this age.

MistletAero · 07/12/2005 22:22

Ds2 is 23months and has a verrry small amount of actual words compared to ds1 who had lots at around 20 months. Dd also was later to speak than ds1. I'm not worried at all though - he communicates perfectly well. I think he could say some words if he wanted to, but it seems there's no need as he makes us understand him easily. My nephew is almost three now and his language has taken a long time to come through in a way which others can easily understand him. He only got his words around 2.5.
I wouldn't worry just yet, but in a few months time if he's no further on, then mention it to your HV and she should point you in the right direction if there's still concern.

Socci · 07/12/2005 22:41

Message withdrawn

Original poster

kitegirl · 08/12/2005 06:40

thanks guys, I know it's too early to really worry - having said that I just spent most of last night getting even more neurotic amidst all sorts of internet sites on speech delay/absence of speech. The thing is, he can only really do two sounds, which are either 'a' or 'da'. Last week he did 'ma' but when I ask him to put it together as in 'can you say mama!' or 'can you say dada?' the poor little sweetheart just looks confused.

He did use a dummy occasionally but gave it up at 12 months. I have not really spoken Finnish to him that much (have lived here for 12 years and not that many ties to Finland any more - cf. my rants on dysfunctional parents elsewhere...) and anyway even in a fully bilingual family it should not prevent him from learning to form sounds, vowels, consonants. I would not be worried if he had shown some indication that he is trying to form words, either by copying us or making stuff up, but like I said, beyond 'a a a a' there really isn't any. He points to indicate what he wants though, accompanied with the 'a a a a' sound. My next question - how early can a SALT intervene? I am just looking for some tips as to how to gently help him.

OP posts:

Cristina7 · 08/12/2005 11:15

Firstly, try not to worry. If you go reading on internet sites you will find things to worry about. Your baby is communicating with you and has babble and a few sounds. For his age that's fine.

A SALT can start work anytime. DS was diagnosed deaf at 8 months and started SLT straight away. In the beginning it was about establishing communication (by any and all means, including signing), then ideas and concepts. This had him matching objects to picture (real ball to picture of a ball etc) as a means of introducing the equivalence between one representation and another (real ball and picture of ball refer to the same thing, as does the sign for ball as does the words for ball).

Now, if you must go looking on the internet, there's some good info on the Hanen website, another one which is found by googling "Caroline Bowen speech" and more ideas at www.listen-up.com

I really think you've got nothing to worry about - the only things i'd double check is his hearing. All else, he'll be ready when he's ready.

Bozza · 08/12/2005 11:21

Are you sure when his tongue tie was dealt with it was done correctly?

Cristina7 · 08/12/2005 11:28

Sorry, one of the websites i recommended is in fact www.listen-up.org

Homsa · 08/12/2005 20:52

Hi kitegirl, my DS was very much like yours at that age, and he's now 2.5 and still not really speaking - has only just started imitating a handful of words, and those are very unclear. An autism spectrum disorder has been suggested as a possible cause, but we're still waiting to get him assessed properly.

Like you, my DH is Finnish and started worrying very early which, in retrospect, was a good thing, because it got the ball rolling fairly early. The first thing they want to rule out is a hearing problem, and you might have to wait several months for a hearing test. If he passes the test and you're still worried, you may have to wait up to 6 months for an appointment with a paediatrician. So my advice would be to get your HV to refer him for a hearing test now, you can always cancel if he starts speaking all of a sudden!

BUT, like others have said, no words at 20 months is nothing unusual and he's probably just a late bloomer!

Nemoinapeartree · 08/12/2005 21:13

hi
sounds exactly like my son. Very early walker and basically used to get everything he wanted so didnt have to ask. Then at 22mths he started with a few words. Now at 25mths he does not shut up..lol Constantly talking and copying words and it does happen all of a sudden. Still a lot of ds words can sound similair and he has trouble prounouncing a few letters but I personally think the more mobile they are the less they need to tell/ask you for things.

Original poster

kitegirl · 12/12/2005 06:31

thanks guys for all your advice and sharing your experiences. He probably is just a late talker so we'll keep an eye on it for another few months and see what happens. This weekend he actually started saying 'boo' meaning 'shoes' (sweeeeet...)!

I so had decided not to be a paranoid mum... just like I had decided that I will still wash my hair and wear make-up, make time to write music and exercise... motherhood is never what you had planned, is it.

Homsa, big Finnish hello to your dh! Are you speaking Finnish at home?

OP posts:

bobbybobbobbingalong · 12/12/2005 07:25

"write music"?

Does your ds sing?

Original poster

kitegirl · 12/12/2005 07:50

no just babbles!
i meant me, am trying to get some music projects off the ground but these days if i have had a shower before midday it's an achievement... we listen to a lot of music though but in a casual way.

OP posts:

bobbybobbobbingalong · 12/12/2005 19:38

People can sing before they can speak, so a music class may be a good way forward.

bauble99 · 12/12/2005 19:42

kitegirl. My DS1 didn't do anything other than babble, say 'the there' and point until he was very nearly three.

He's 8 now and doesn't stop talking.

Homsa · 12/12/2005 21:06

Olen saksalainen tyttö
Olen huppelissa
That's about all the Finnish I know, and ever needed to know

TheFish · 12/12/2005 21:07

my surname is finnish

3mum · 13/12/2005 09:17

FWIW my daughter didn't say a word (literally) and barely any sounds until she was over three. I was relaxed about it as I could tell her understanding was very good. When she went to nursery the words came all at once within about threee months and she's fine now. I think she just didnt have to work very hard at being understood at home so she didnt bother. Once she was with other children she had to speak to them.

Flip