GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP. 3yo appearing to need less and less sleep every night.

[titferbrains]

Dd will be 3 in a few weeks. Baby due in a few weeks. She is still awake as I type but has been out in playground running about all day with CM. We went to seaside for a few days earlier this month, she ran around all day, lots of sea air etc. Still took a fucking age to go sleep. Up and out of bed etc.

Am getting really fucked off now. She just doesn't seem to need much sleep. Wakes about 730am bright as a frigging button while I lie in bed and moan. When nursery was on she seemed to fall asleep better. What do we need to do to make her fall asleep faster? Put her on a fucking hamster wheel for an hour a day?

thing is titfer sweary threads don't bother me at all, in fact I like a good fuck as much as the next person (in more ways than one )

I don't know what I was on tbh, I'm an arse.

Do you ever get like that, just mardy with a pinch of bitch? Last night was my turn - again apologies :)

But everything else I said was genuine, I was trying to give practical advice albeit with my limited knowledge.

I think the nightlight is a good idea - something that projects onto the ceiling, or them plastic glow in the dark stars that stick to the ceiling..??

Just to be clear, I wouldn't use such language when 'addressing a child'!
The book looks funny, I read reviews when it came out but haven't seen it yet.

DS1 has not slept for more than 8 1/2 hrs in 24 since he was 18 months old. He just doesn't NEED that much sleep. But it's hereditory here, I can't sleep for more than 7 hrs (and only that much if I'm exhausted ), My mother has about 5 hrs a night, My Grandad only about 6hrs. I tend to go to bed myself at 1am and get up at 7am normally, If I'm extra tired I will go to bed at midnight.

I just worked out HOW many HOURS DS1 needed to sleep for, worked out when I wanted him to get up, and worked backwards to find out when his bedtime needed to be! I don't want him to get up before 7am, so I put him to bed at 9.30pm, he reads till 10.30/11pm, then is up by 7am. He is 9.4yo now though. I DID find it hard when he was about 3.5yo, because I hadn't accepted how little sleep HE needed. As soon as I did that, I decided whether it was more important to me to have time to myself in the evening, or not to be woken up at the gnats fart of dawn.

Me personally, I would rather sleep in till 7am than get him to bed early. Once he was able to amuse himself by reading before he fell asleep, it got a whole lot easier. He was about 5yo then.

Its 'Get the fuck to sleep' in our house though obviously not within DD's hearing . All sounds very familiar, though DD is 2.9 so we haven't had to endure it for quite as long, but really feel for you OP. I have just recently had a baby and it is seriously awful having an older one who just dosen't seem to need much sleep. DD just dosen't seem capable of sleeping for longer than 10 hours in 24, although I she really needs it. Just wanted to add though that I have had some success with 'quiet time'. Never for a minute thought it would work but am desperate enough to give most things ago. We now have a really rigid routine, and between bath and final story I leave Dd in her room with a couple of toys that she only gets at bedtime and a story tape on. I still have to go back to do a final story and pat for a while to get her to fall asleep but to my amazement she does actually play quietly. Types of things I have given her to do are fuzzy felts, sticker books, etch a sketch & magnet story books. It hasn't solved the problem but it has given time to have a big glass of wine get DS down in his cot. When we started 'quiet time' I also told DD the sleep fairy would come and leave a treat in the morning if she went to sleep calmly. HTH & Goodluck, having a toddler who won't sleep whilst being pregnant is truly fucking grim.

Hi Yawning, glad to hear that quiet time works for you. I've just received some lovely haba blocks - do you think they would be a nice post bath toy? mixed with normal bricks? we have some fuzzy felts knocking about but not sure she is mature enough to enjoy arranging them yet - her play is still quite destructive, ie build tower, knock it over, draw a face, scribble over it, draw on table, draw on hands, put coins in box, tip coins out everywhere
What does sleep fairy bring DD in the morning then?

She is also waking at night once or twice, think I'll have to get a bed guard as she is falling out or duvet coming off. She gets a bit warm so don't want to tuck her in too firmly. As she is at clingy pre-baby stage, she immediately screams for me if she wakes, so that's an added joy.

story CDs on the way. Amazon has made a fortune out of my problems lately!

Your DD sounds just like mine at bedtime and at night, I can't offer any advice as I still can't get her to sleep, but have some moral support.

cheers for support. It's tough as I'm not sure what to do with her when she stays up late, last night she was up doing colouring till about 9, she didn't fall asleep till about 10 despite story and face stroking and me sitting upstairs ready to pounce if she got up again. Which she did, jsut when I thought she'd fallen asleep. What really bugs me is that she puts her shoes back on when she comes out (crocs or ballet shoes) like she's going to carry on with the day without mummy and daddy

Erm, maybe she just doesn't need much sleep . My dc are a bit like this. Ds never slept much more than 10 hours a night until he started school, when thankfully he was tired enough to stretch it out to 10.5-11 hours. Dd is 2 and she often wakes after 10 hours. Neither has napped past 20 months.

On the bright side, mine are usually asleep by 8:30pm but 7:30am is a major major lie-in! At least you aren't being woken up at 5:30 (as happened with ds for about 2 years).

if she starts waking at 5.30, she and I may well have to part company. I tend to feel vomitous if I'm awake for long at that time. Seriously.

Op I feel your pain. We only discovered this week that DS (2.3) doesn't go to sleep at 7.30 when we put him in his cot - more like 9-10pm. When we finally got around to putting DD in the same room, instead of playing or reading or doing whatever the hell he was doing, he now spends it shouting 'wake up' at his sister. Now bedtime takes hours grrrr.

My friend told me when she little she was allowed to go round the house and choose whatever toys and books she wanted to take to bed with her but the deal was she had to stay in bed on pain of death. I was going to try that one when he's a bit older. With a stair gate at the door too

Was also going to try CDs of stories, would be interested to know if it worked. Will be watching with interest to see if anything else might work. Good luck!

It is a pain, but have you tried staying in the room with her in the dark until she falls asleep? We sit next to my 3 yr old DS until he's all the way asleep. It's annoying but I've been down this road before with my DD and she wouldn't stay in her room and actually stay in her bed until she was over 4.5.

Ooo, I want some of those haba blocks, they are beautiful. Give it a go, whats the worst that could happen?! DD doesn't do any arranging of the fuzzy felts, in fact I am not sure exactly what she does with them when she is on her own,other than scatter them throughout the room so I get to clear them all up the next morning. Last night she was quiet for ages and I stupidly imagined that she had perhaps fallen asleep, only to find that she had in her own words 'had a party' with the stickers I had given her and decorated her bed with them. Actually it wasn't even with the stickers but the white edge bit that she had used, what seemed like reams of it . So yes, not exactly constructive I suppose but she is relatively quiet, which is blissful. The sleep fairy leaves a smartie if bedtime passes without any fuss. I hide it somewhere and fake utter amazement when DD finds it in the morning. We were having massive tantrums, battles etc so it has really helped. I 'speak' to the sleep fairy via one of her cuddly toys which she loves and have told her the SF can only visit if she is quiet and calm as she is easily frightened by shouting. Not sure if it will carry on working but so far so good. Like your DD she is also waking during the night-oh the joys & no amount of exercise, fresh air blah, blah, blah makes any difference!

ok well maybe give it a go this eve. I've been super lazy all day so am not expecting any miracles tonight, she's only had about an hour's exercise...

not sure dd could be trusted with stickers...

talking no way would I sit with her till she fell asleep. I cannot be dealing with that sort of thing, it would drive me nuts, feel like a waste of time and I'd end up resenting dd. I know she can fall asleep on her own!

my son has only slept one full night since he was born( by full I mean 7pm till 6am!) thats as good as its got and that was when he was 18 months he is now 20 months and on an average night he wakes every couple of hours on a bad night its every hour, I sit with him till he falls asleep and sleep next to his cot cos I am too exhausted to keep getting up every time he wakes and go thru to his room, the doc suspected a dairy allergy and even gave us melatonin(a sedation drug) but he only slept for 2 hours after taking that, dont know what else to try and at the end of my tether but titferbrains your thread has brought a smile to my face as I feel your pain and I like your refreshing honesty! am afraid I dont have any advice to give you as I am not able to get my own son to sleep but just wanted to say thanks for making me smile and realise I am not alone in the way I feel.
Hope your situation gets better sometime soon

jewels thanks for lovely post, I have to say my DD isn't nearly as bad as yrs, have you tried Millpond yet? it's a sleep clinic, look on here for more info.
DD's sleep has just been frustratingly erratic, so many different things waking her, size of cot, night terrors, or just random patterns of waking lots over one month and not the next. Just wish she was a little more predictable. At one point during 2nd trimester she was waking every 3 hours, like a newborn, I really thought I was going to lose it! no idea why but thankfully it stopped. I know kids are growing and changing all the time but the ups and downs of our nights have been very wearing. Really hope you get some help too. Sounds pretty serious and worth persisting with doctors about, as it's affecting you so much. Don't back down, keep bugging them and ask for more help, living like that is really not healthy!!

I had exactly the same problem with my daughter. When she was about 3, we came to an agreement. I put her to bed and shut the door. She can then just play/look at books/whatever as long as she doesn't open her door again or bother me. Works absolutely fine. Now she knows it doesn't bother me that she stays awake, she always has a manic run around her room after I shut the door, but normally flops into bed and falls asleep within a very short time.