Do you hold your 3 yr olds hand when walking down the road?

[clarkykitten]

I am guessing that most people will probably answer 'yes'?

DS is 3;8 and has NEVER been a hand holder. We used to use reins with him or he would be in the pushchair. When I went back to work when he was 10 months old, his grandad and nana started caring for him once a week. Although they were instructed to use the pushchair or hold hands or use the reins, they have always let him walk alongside them and then, as he got bigger and faster, let him run ahead of them.

Now I know that in hindsight we should have MADE him hold our hands when was with us, but he has always been good at staying near to us and stopping when we ask him to, waiting to hold our hands to cross the street etc. Except now, he is forever running off in shops, going too far ahead when he is riding on his scooter (even if I am shouting for him to stop), or running right down to the end of the road, even if I am still saying my goodbyes to a friend (for example if we're leaving her house). I also have DD (15m) in a pushchair.

Every day I will tell him that he must stay with me and walk with me and the pushchair rather than run on ahead but it falls on deaf ears. We've resorted to taking away 'treats' e.g. this afternoon we were due to go to softplay, but I had warned him that we wouldn't go if he ran off, but he did anyway (and I know that he really wanted to go to softplay).

Any experiences/hints and tips? I was thinking of buying a wrist strap for him?

Thanks

I had to use reins on ds (now 6). Once he wouldn't wear them anymore, if he refused to hold my hand, I'd either tell him he'd have to go back on the reins like a baby (always took them with me to be able to carry out threat) or tell him I'd carry him like a baby (lying in my arms) which I did carry out a few times.

That soon made him realise he should walk nicely.

A wrist strap good idea though. You might only need it as a deterrant.

Wrist strap good idea. We still have a double buggy for her younger brother and she gets told she will be strapped in her buggy if she can't hold hands. There is no bigger threat to her when she wants to walk so she'll hold my hand!!

He is old enough to understand now. If he speeds off on his scooter, don't let him take the scooter next time. Walk to places he likes and if he runs off or doesn't listen to you turn around and come straight home. If you are really strict and stick to the rules he'll soon learn.

my dd does not always hold hands but has been generally good. If I where you I would take a wrist strap with you and if he runs off he has to wear it attached to you for a while. he will soon get the message.

I tend to play a little game with DD involving, saying stop!! for her to stop then Carry on!! when Im closer and its safe for her to go, at stop she has to stop in what ever position she is in ie, mid sride, so it is quite funny. then some times throw the odd stop bannas!! or stop monkies etc etc where she shouldnt stop a bit like simon says to catch her out.

also you could try you must stop at next lampost or end of these railings etc, then you can introduce the wrist strap, if you dont stop there you will need to wear strap. praise him when he stops.

No - I'm not a hand holder, but I expect them to walk beside me and not run off. If I had a runner/one that wont do as they're told I would buy some reins and use them until they got the message. No more scootering until he can prove he can walk beside you and behave himself.

x post with wrist strap.

Thanks all. I'll buy the wrist strap tomorrow and ban the scooter for a while. Thanks for the game ideas, I sometimes do one where we have to copy different 'walks' i.e. marching, jumping but it is the running off in shops that is especially a problem, especially when I am trying to manoeuvre DD about. Hopefully the wrist strap will help in that situation.

We don't hold hands on quiet streets that she knows well, but DD is very good at stopping. She also knows that if she doesn't stop when asked she'll have to hold our hands for the remainder of the trip.

I'd go for the wrist strap, start each journey without it but the slightest hint of messing around and he goes on the wrist strap. That way you're giving him a chance to prove himself each time.

DD1 was three yesterday, we don't hold hands.

We'll hold hands when we cross a busy road but otherwise we look both ways together then cross.