12 month old hitting brother

[jimmychoos]

I'm fairly new to Mumsnet but you lot are so wise and full of advice......my dd is 12 months and has recently started hitting out at my ds(3 yrs), when she's not getting her own way, for example when she tries to take a toy away from him and he hangs on to it. She's also tried to bite him a few times. She's obviously already at that cross and frustrated stage (don't think my ds got there until at least 18 months!) Anyone got any ideas on best ways of handling this, other than saying 'no' and removing her from the scene?

Er, just getting this one to the top for you again........

say no firmly and just wait.......

sorry

This is the second message I've seen tonight which exactly matches my situation! Dd is also just 12 months, and ds 3 next week. She has suddenly started asserting herself and screeching really loudly when she wants something, and has been hitting her brother, although it seems that she is wildly hitting out rather than anything more deliberate. To be honest, I am viewing it as a reaction to 12 months of seeing ds grab all the best toys and pushing her around a bit, and her new behaviour has certainly altered his behaviour towards her (perhaps he is finally realising that she's not actually a squashy toy after all).

She almost seems to be having mini-tantrums, which is a whole year earlier than ds did. I'm not doing anything other than saying no and removing from the scene, as she clearly won't understand anything further. I have to pretend to give her time out or ds protests as this is what happens to him if he does something like this. She has just started walking and I really think it's part of her eagerness to do what her brother can do, which is then frustrated by her cack-handedness.

Second-child syndrome perhaps then? Or is it a girl thing?!!!

I think she's got more reason to be frustrated than your ds - he didn't have a three year old hanging on to the toys he wanted!! Sounds normal to me. I think you have to explain to your ds that she's just a baby and to make allowances. Of course, she's not trying to hurt her brother (she won't understand her actions having that effect) she just wants what she wants! Discourage the biting but I think the key thing is to distract her when (or before) she gets frustrated (or bitey) with another toy or activity.