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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Object attachments in kids (little ones in particular)

41 replies

Donbean · 27/11/2005 19:34

Ds has a noonoo, its a tatty old blanket that he takes every where with him.
Im not worried about it and think he will part with it when he is good and ready. But ive been thinking about it and have a few musings to discuss with you and wondered what you think of it.
Do you think that when attached to some thing that it is because of an insecurity about some thing?
Why do you think that they do this?
Did/does your child have this and how did you eventually get them to part with what ever it was?

OP posts:

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cod · 27/11/2005 19:44

Message withdrawn

tassis · 27/11/2005 19:50

ds (2.5) has a blanket. well 3, but we rotate them. we try to keep it in his cot, but sometimes produce it if he's tired or for plane journeys etc...

JiminyCricket · 27/11/2005 19:51

I think it helps them feel secure when moving from one environment to another or separating from you its psychologically v important i think.
Just had a chat with dd1 last week and told her she would only have her blanky for sleeping now, and she hasn't hardly asked for it in between times (she's 2 and 3 months) interestingly she always used to hold her blanky and suck her thumb at the same time, and had started to be more attached to it - since last week she hardly sucks her thumb except when going off to sleep and she gets much more involved with play now.

MalorySuzannahAtTrinnyTowers · 27/11/2005 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bee3 · 27/11/2005 20:22

My ds (21 months) has a bear comforter that is his world. I'm fine with it, as I understand why these things are called comforters in the first place - it helps him sleep, makes detachment easier (he's fine at nursery as long as he has his bear etc). And I know he'll eventually grow out of it.

He also uses objects in a sort of 'transference' way, helping him transfer from one situation to another without too much stress by taking his particular current object of desire with him (meal times, bath time, bed time). He has special objects that will be very important for a few days, and he even has to take them to bed (at the moment it's his Brum dvd box ) and although I do panic about it sometimes (why is he so obsessive about wierd objects?), in the grander scheme of things I try not to worry as it simply seems to be part of his coping mechanisms.

I'm hoping that most toddlers are similar.....??

jodee · 27/11/2005 20:28

DSD (5) has a muzzy, which used to be dragged everywhere but he now only has it in bed, it has to be folded 'just so' on the pillow and then he puts his head on it. At the moment, fusspot ds insists on me warming it on the radiator first!

Both me and my brother had blankies, can't remember when we gave them up, just probably grew disinterested in it over time I guess.

bakedpotato · 27/11/2005 20:33

I don't believe it's to do with insecurity. It's to do with security, IYSWIM.
My two got passionate about theirs (will admit I actively matchmade DS with his muslin) around 4-6 mths just because that's the age when they start really using their hands
I love the look in their eyes when they feel them... DD (4) glazes over blissfully, DS wriggles with happiness when I stick him in his cot and it's there waiting for him
Not bothered about giving them up. I've still got a manky old scrap, if I'm honest . A comforter is one of life's great pleasures

bee3 · 27/11/2005 20:35

You put that so well, and succinctly, bakedpotato. Much better than my ramblings lol

jodee · 27/11/2005 20:36

Agree, BP - I'm in no hurry for ds to give his up.

Muzzys are great comforters, there's never a shortage if one gets lost (and ds must have mislaid loads)!

Original poster

Donbean · 27/11/2005 20:36

Indeed bakedpotato! I agree
It is so much nicer to think of it as a "security" thing rather than associating it with "insecurity".
I only said that because as a child i sucked my thumb and remember people saying over and over that it was a sign of insecurity.

OP posts:

Chandra · 27/11/2005 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

bakedpotato · 27/11/2005 20:37

Also, they make long car journeys so much quieter

Original poster

Donbean · 27/11/2005 20:37

pet walnut....no way!!!

OP posts:

Chandra · 27/11/2005 20:39

Was it yours Donbean?

I'm sure there was a long thread about it somewhere in the archived messages

Chandra · 27/11/2005 20:40

Original poster

Donbean · 27/11/2005 20:41

it wasnt mine Chandra! But ive just looked on the thread about "non toys kids like" and there is a child who has taken a pumice stone to bed with him/her and insisted it be kissed goodnight! LOL

OP posts:

Frayedknot · 27/11/2005 20:42

Bee3, check out the "non-toys" thread and you will realise DS is perfectly normal.

blueteddy · 27/11/2005 20:44

Message withdrawn

blueteddy · 27/11/2005 20:45

Message withdrawn

bee3 · 27/11/2005 20:45

LOL thankyou frayedknot - you are so right!

nooka · 27/11/2005 20:46

I read that children with security objects were actually more secure than children who didn't. I have one of each, ds (6) is still fairly obsessive about his "shushie" (an old pram sheet) which is now gradually disintegrating, and strictly for bed time only, as as soon as he gets hold of it he switches off (which is OK) and starts sucking his thumb (which is a problem, as one of his teeth is goign squiffy). dd (5) has one too, but really only because ds has one. She used to find it comforting if she had hurt herself, and she does like it in bed with her, but she could do without it quite easily. I had one too as a kid, and wonder if it is to do with NLP preferences, as I am quite kinetic (touch is important to me).

nooka · 27/11/2005 20:47

oops - forgot the spell check there - I meant kinesthetic.

CarolinaMoon · 27/11/2005 20:47

is it worth trying to "matchmake" between your LO and a cuddly, as someone said earlier?

Ds is 13mo and doesn't have one (poss because I'm a SAHM so he doesn't actually get separated from me much at all? I don't know), and I can see it would be handy.

Will he find one for himself later, or do some kids not bother?

mumfor1sttime · 27/11/2005 20:56

Ds has a winnie pooh toy which has a blanket type thing attached to it. He only has it in bed though, usually holds it over his face and sucks his thumb, then goes to sleep. He is 10.5 months, hes had winnie since he was born, but only been attached to it for about 3 months.
Its a good signal for me that he will go to sleep if I see him holding 'winnie'!!
I dont see a problem with having a comforter, Im sure he will be trying to take a toy car to bed when hes older.
I remember when I used to get new shoes as a small child - I would want to go to bed in them!!

longwaytogo · 27/11/2005 21:13

eldest two had terry nappies, they went everywhere. dd2 sucked her thumb with the label inbetween her nose and her nappy but when she volunterily gave her nappy to a friends baby she stopped sucking her thumb, but in saying that even now at 11 she always has something in her mouth.

dd3 has a muslin and ds has fleecy teddy things, but actually its the labels he goes for, and he looks so sweet

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