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is this normal or should i get ds assessed?

5 replies

razzie · 27/11/2005 13:27

have a 7.5 ds- who at school is pretty average, but at home is so up and down -not sure if this is normal or not.

my main worries are that when he gets intersted in something he becomes obsessed to the point of nothing else exists- all he talks, reads, draws, about will be the one topic. and so far since the age of about 4/5 ther's been: titanic, oliver twist, spies, dr who and other random things.

he also doesn't make friends easily .he has one or two friends at school and bores them to death probably with whatever topic he's on at the moment- their parents keep coming up to me about it.he gets angry at once if something does not go his way- be it a drawing gone wrong, food he doesn't wish to eat, or the internet is unavailable!

he is a great one for coming out with the most inappropriate comment or action- mostly when in company, but it doesnt seem to be intentional- it's like he can't help himself, while dh + i are like"where the hell did that come from!"

it's as if he exists in his own little world or bubble, as trying to talk to him is so difficult. he gets so distracted and forgets what you're saying in a flash.

we get cross, upset and frustrated in equal doses as we don't know how to deal with it- if there is an 'it', and he is such a loving little boy with cuddles and kisses all the time.

i kbnow it's my fault- i know it- i went back to work when he was 18 months and he was in a day nursery which i later found out did not look after the children very well . have been riddled with guilt ever since, as he used to cry nearly every day when he went there.

soory for this saga of woe but any advice would be great.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
becca81 · 27/11/2005 13:34

I don't know much about this topic, but what I do know is that its not your fault! Please don't beat yourself up about this. Instead, take that energy and use it to help your son and find out, if anything, is wrong. xx

coppertop · 27/11/2005 13:41

It's definitely not your fault.

I think it's definitely worth asking for an assessment with a Paediatrician. Do you have any suspicions as to what the problem (if there is one) might be?

LIZS · 27/11/2005 13:59

Firstly I don't think it is anyway your fault, assuming there is an "it", you do what you beleive ot be your best for them at the time.

ds is same age and is about 12 months behind socially and 18 months-ish behind on locomotor skills. He was assessed by a community paediatrician in September following a gp referral.

The main issue for us is the motor skills difficulties but he also lacks socially in making friends. He moved schools this year and has only just hooked up consistently with some of the other boys. He tends to play in a small group or on his own rather than as part of a pack and will opt out if the game isn't going according to his plan or expectations. He is also easily distractible and often only half listens ! At school he seems to not be listening while in fact still taking it all in.

However generally he doesn't display the other behaviours you describe -impatience, frustration, lack of tact and although he can be single minded (he has been into Thunderbirds for over 4 years !) I wouldn't describe him as obsessed.

It really wasn't hard to get the referral and the session was an informal series of games , activites and chat, completing the Griffiths Mental Development questionnaire. It might at least put your mind at rest as to whether there are any underlying problems or not. Have to say I do know of other children who behave similarly so it could well yet be age appropriate.

good luck

Davros · 27/11/2005 14:55

I would speak to your GP or HV (or both) and explain exactly as you have here. It may be nothing but its definitely worth taking further. Its NOT your fault, please don't think so for a minute.

foundintranslation · 27/11/2005 16:16

oh razzie, no advice but it won't be anything to do with the nursery or you having gone back to work.

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