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Extremly Fussy Eating In 4 Year Old - Can't Cope

34 replies

xStrugglingMumx · 12/07/2011 19:13

I am really struggling with my 4 year old DD and her fussy eating. It just seems to be getting worse and worse and foods that she would eat even if not very healthy i.e. fish fingers are now even going on the list of won?t eat foods.

Basically, for breakfast she will eat Oats so Simple Porridge (Syrup Flavour) but only sometimes, if it?s too lumpy she won?t eat. She will decide if it?s lumpy by looking so won?t even taste. Rice crispies, Shreddies, cherrios and cornflakes but if they are too soggy will not eat.

Lunch - Bread plain with butter, jam or spreading cheese. Bread toasted with butter or jam, used to eat a cheese toastie will not now. Pancakes with butter or jam. Crackers with spreading cheese.

Dinner - Pasta cooked but no sauce (will occasionally eat it with a tomato sauce and very occasionally macaroni, Heinz pasta shapes in tomato sauce, Potato smillies, roast potatoes, fish finger but will now only eat one piece now. Pizza with cheese and tomato or pepperoni (this is the only meat she will eat) and Tomato soup.

She will not eat or even taste meat and even if she does she has a few chews, gags on it and then spits it out.

She eats yogarts, fruit i.e. strawberries (but sometimes says they are too jaggy), melon, raspberries, blueberries, apples. She will occasionally eat carrots and sweetcorn.

Other things she will eat are Breadsticks, fruit flakes (plain) not yogart coated, walkers or McCoys ready salted crisps, cheese.

She does love chocolate, biscuits etc like most children but we do try to limit it.

Basically, this is what she lives on and I?m really struggling. Tonight I made omelette as she will sometimes eat egg and she ate a couple of mouthfuls and then said she did not like it and we had a real struggle to get her to even eat the potato smillie.

She is now asking after a couple of mouthfuls if she can share with us, which is her way of trying to get rid of the food. She wants to tell us jokes, chat nonstop anything but eat!! Also, she says can I get something else i.e. yogart. Up until we have been giving her one as all the research I have read says that you should offer two courses but I feel like she knows it does not matter if she does not eat her main course, as she will get something else.

Mealtimes are now no fun and I really dread them as no matter what I make DD finds fault with it even if it?s something she has picked.

DD was a great eater and would eat anything until she was about 2 years old and then the fussy eating started but it's getting worse and worse.

We have followed all the advice on fussy eating to no avail and are at a loss as to what to do next. Confused

OP posts:
Al1son · 14/07/2011 17:04

How are you getting on with the new approach, OP?

xStrugglingMumx · 14/07/2011 21:01

I can't Believe It

I?m so chuffed today that I just wanted to share with you all. DD ate for the first time a piece of tomato. I had bought a tomato for my sandwich and she said, ?I could maybe have tomato too?. Now I had tried offering her tomato when she was younger and she would not even taste it however, I thought well if she is asking I?ll give her some.

I made her a sandwich with spreading cheese and put very small pieces of tomato on one quarter of the sandwich. She ate the first three and then said, ?I didn?t want tomato? to which I said ?oh but you asked for it, you have it just like Mummy?. ?I said have a little taste?, which she did and said it was yummy but after another bite, she wanted to share with me. I said ?why don?t you try taking the tomato off and eating it on it?s own? so she took a bite and I said ?oh it sounds crunchy? and she smiled and then she ate the rest.

I know it was not a very big piece but I?m delighted that she tried it and even more that I managed to gently persuade her. I know we have a very long way to go but it has made me feel more positive.

We also had a succesful dinner and she ate half a smoked fishcake with no fuss and even said it was very yummy.

I think the fact DH and I are relaxing and not mentioning food at all is really helping.

I know we will have good and bad days but it has made me feel very positive today. :)

ps. totally off topic but how do you quote a post ?

OP posts:
Doitnicelyplease · 15/07/2011 07:08

Agree you must not make an issue out of eating or not eating, my DD was really fussy but got better when I forced myself to 'not care' just serve up what you have cooked with no alternatives. Then only offer dessert (yogurt, fruit etc) if they have made a good attempt (at least half).

Try to talk about other things at dinner time and not focus on what she is eating. Also if she is being ultra picky eg saying she won't eat breakfast because of lumps, then you must just shrug and say ok then no breakfast, make it clear that is her choice to go hungry and there is nothing else on offer.

My DD is still what I would called picky, but now eats a huge range of foods compared to a year ago, has a really good appetite and is getting better at trying new things.

cilantro · 15/07/2011 09:37

I wouldn't worry too much. My DD is the same and she's 5. She only wants to eat certain things and she refuses most vegetables. I have learned to just relax with it and hope that when she's older she'll come round. My main concern for my DD is that she's not getting enough iron and not enough vitamins from veg although she takes a multivitamin to help with this. It is worrying but I don't want to force her to eat foods at all.

I think as long as your DD is eating mainly healthy foods for what she does eat she'll be fine.

Davsmum · 15/07/2011 10:16

Exoticfruits - Its refreshing to hear a mum accept and be aware that it is her own reaction that can make the difference about her childs eating. ( or any other behaviour for that matter) Often Mums take offence and get very defensive when it is suggested their reactions can make things worse !

Al1son · 15/07/2011 12:36

That is such good news! Well done for chilling and making it relaxed. I hope mealtimes become nicer for you all now.

Just one thing. I would be wary of saying that she needs to have something because she asked for it. It could put her off trying things if she thinks she won't be allowed to change her mind. My philosophy would be to respond as if you're feeding her sweets, i.e. it's fine if she wants to eat but you really don't care either way.

It's lovely to hear that your DH is on board because it's often difficult to get both parents to take a relaxed approach.

Sorry, I can't help with the quoting question!

xStrugglingMumx · 15/07/2011 13:23

Al1son thanks for your advice about saying she has to eat something because she asked for it. I never thought that it could put her off wanting to try new things or make her think she can?t change her mind.

Yes, DH is supportive although he sometimes does get annoyed and ends up nagging DD because he can see me getting upset that I?ve made something and she won?t even and try it. Now that we are both taking the relaxed and don?t care approach it will make things a lot easier.

She does seem to eat much better if no mention of food is made so we just have to remember that.

I?m very grateful for everyone on this thread for their help and support, as it has made a big difference chatting to others who are or have gone through similar. :)

OP posts:
colditz · 15/07/2011 13:32

As the adult version of your daughter, (who was nearly hospitalised at 4) I would say that you are taking the right approach.

I will also add - please don't make her eat past her appetite unless she is clinically underweight. I have struggled with not overeating all my life.

StarryEyedMama · 15/07/2011 13:35

I think Supernanny covers this well. If you can, watch the episode that was on this week on 4od.

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