12 month old trouble getting to sleep

[kyliecakes]

Hi,

Ive used this board a couple of times over the past year and you ladies have always solved my problem so I hope you can help again.

My baby turned one a couple of weeks ago. Up until about 2 months ago he had been a dream sleeper, I could just put him down and he'd fall asleep and then sleep through the night. All of a sudden he has started taking ages to fall asleep even though he is so tired he doesn't have the energy to keep his eyes open. A couple of times it has taken nearly 2 hours, not crying all the time he seems content at first but then he gets over tired and cries and cries. I feel like ive tried everything, putting him to bed earlier in case of over tiredness, later to wear him out, extended his bedtime routine, shortened it. He is teething so some nights I think it's that but its been so long now i think its become behavioural. The odd night he falls asleep in no time quite content, i think we've cracked it but then were back to square one the next night. He also started to wake in the night around the same time this started, two or three times but I've got it down to one now and he goes back to sleep in minutes. It's the putting him to bed that's getting to me - any ideas? He has two naps a day and is generally ok at these although tougher than he used to be.

Thanks

Hi! First of all, you have my sympathy! Second, remember any behaviour modification programme (for this is what you are attempting) will take time, so stick with it or it will fail. My experience is that you need to stick with one programme for at least 2 weeks to see any benefit (sometimes it's just a move towards your goal, not an actual completed goal!).
Don't try to wear him out, you are just raising his energy levels - instead, calm him down. Stick to a routine. Don't feed him too close to bedtime, sometimes if the digestion is working hard, this can keep him awake too. So - early teatime, wind down after tea ... maybe some tv or something? Warm soapy bath (with little songs and games, not big splashes and screams!)milky drink, teeth, story, lights out, song (always the same one ... creates a pattern and sends a signal) then night night kiss. only come back ONCE ... if necessary, with a kiss and a firm "time to sleep". if he gets up, just take him straight back.
two naps a day might be too much for him now .... try one nap after lunch. that really should be enough. but don't let him sleep longer than 1 hr max.
good luck - let me know how you get on (in 2 weeks' time!!). but remember: if you don't stick religiously to the programme for 2 weeks minimum, you can't expect it to work!

Hi

My one year old is exactly the same...used to be able to go to sleep no bother but now cries or wants to play. We reduced her naps to once a day and had to do controlled crying but for about five minutes she cries before going to sleep...i would love her to go to sleep in peace but cant see it happening for a ile. If you crack it please let me know :-)

Poor you :( that does not sound like fun, especially when you are used to the luxury of a peaceful nights sleep. I also would agree that maybe just 1 lunch time nap might help him sleep better at night (although my 12 mo DD needs more like 2hrs not 1). also, the whole thing of sticking to the same routine if you're changing it for at least 2 weeks, to see whether it is really working. I am sure it will just be phase, hang on in there i know it must feel like forever!

Hi ladies,

Thanks for your help. I'd thought he should probably be going down to one nap a day but he just gets so tired. Yesterday though he had his morning nap as usual but just didnt need one in the afternoon and he went down fine!! He did wake after about half an hour but fell asleep pretty quickly again. I think this is definitely the answer, if i can just move the nap to the afternoon i think it'll be fine. I also think sticking with something for 2 weeks is a good idea, i was changing everything so much. I'll let you know how ive got on in a fortnight but so far so good.

I also think the waking might be separation. As soon as i walk into the room and put my hand on his chest he's fast asleep again.

Thanks again!

Watching with interest. We are in the same boat.

My DS turned one last week and is the same. We used to be able to put him down in his cot awake and he'd fall asleep within minutes. Now, he likes to bounce around his cot first, sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes for an hour. Sometimes I feed him to sleep now, as he just won't fall asleep on his own otherwise.

I totally sympathise with the feeding him to sleep. I do this too and worry im making a rod for my own back.

kyliecakes ignore anyone who says the words "rod for your own back" to you. Kids will outgrow all this stuff so just do what you need to do to be ok yourself. Feed to sleep, co sleep, whatever. They won't be doing it forever.

totally agree with moonface ... do whatever works for you. they grow up eventually

Hi,

Thanks for everyones help with this. I followed the advice, he still has two naps a day as gets so tired mid morning but its getting later and so going to bed a bit later. Everything was great for a couple of weeks but now all of a sudden its even worse - its like world war 3 every time i put him to bed.

The second i walk out of his room he gets hysterical, for the first few nights it was unusual so i soothed him to sleep. After a while i realised there was nothing wrong so have been trying to get him out of it. The thing is he just screams and screams and screams. We've tried staying in his room not talking to or touching him but he still cried for 2 hours. Weve tried staying in the room and sh-shing, music, gradually withdrawing - nothing works. In the end we've been trying controlled crying for the last few of nights (but going in every 5-10 minutes to tell him were still here) - he's only just gone to sleep at 10pm and thats because we caved and soothed him. Its been hours and he was nowhere near sleep. The thing is i just read in a book to check theyre not teething if youre going to do controlled crying as theres no chance of them falling asleep that way. He seems to be permanently teething although he doesnt seem particularly bad at the moment but we went and soothed him after reading that. Then a few pages on it said that separation anxiety peaks around this age and not to soothe them to sleep or they'll always expect it. Im so confused! How do i know what it is?

To make matters worse my mum looked after him yesterday and he went down without any problems which i know i should be pleased about but it just makes me feel worse. Please help, im going out of my mind every evening.

Thanks

Hi kyliecakes, not sure if you're still around but would love to know if things actually got any easier for you, 7 months on.

I am going through the exact same thing at the moment: (just turned) 12-month-old DS has been absolutely refusing to go down in his cot for about the last 10 weeks or so. I would say this is a combination of clinginess and teething, however it seemed to come to a head the day I decided to adjust his cot and lower the mattress so there was no longer a risk of him standing up and tipping over the top. Well, since that night he has not slept in his cot unless he has passed out first. Unlike the olddays when we could place him down, kiss his head and leave the room, he now starts crying immediately and stands up with his arms in the air :(

We are at our wits end as he was an excellent sleeper from about 4.5 months until Christmas/New Year when he had 3 teeth come through at the same time as having a cold (now that was fun). So since then he hasn't been the "same" if you know what I mean?