Masturbating daughter!

[satine]

My 7 yr old dd is going through a stage of masturbating frequently. I've tried, as gently as possibly, to explain that whilst what she's doing is fine, normal, and lots of people do it, it's best done in private. However as soon as she's immersed in something, she seems to forget and starts again - and the final straw was her lovely teacher telling me that 'her hand was in her knickers all through assembly'
Please tell me that some of you have been through similar?!!!

Crikey. I don't think it's normal at age 7. I mean the puberty hormones haven't kicked in so there wouldn't be any urge to do it. I definitely didn't start until I was at secondary school.

Oh bull, bearcrumble. Small babies touch themselves. It feels nice waaay before puberty.

I'm afraid I don't have any advice Satine as my son is only 2. I'm sure someone will be along soon with some!

Hmm, that's true. I suppose I'm assuming that's what it is, whereas it might be straightforward fiddling with her bits!

Could the teacher suggest anything?

Sorry, no advice how to tackle it but I remember ding it when I was 6/ 7 yo. Although not in public.

Actually they go through a hormonal change at 3 and then 7, so it is perfectly normal - they tend to become completely fascinated with their bits at those ages and show curiosity for others as well.

Rule out thrush/lack of hygiene (like not wiping front to back) as that can irritate like heck.

You need to spell out to her that she will be teased about it. If random child X (pick one she doesn't like) sees her then they will all talk about it and she will be teased at playtime. Don't hold back. Stress again that it's fine and normal but it's private, and that's why she never sees anyone else do it.

Am watching with interest as DS is 7 and can't leave his alone at the moment.

Very common for small children to do this!

I think you are handling it right and just need to reiterate to her that it is a private thing.

Could you send in a stress ball - (bearcrumble - there are alot of children that like to put their hands down their pants - I donm't think it is the same as when they get older) - so she has something else to fiddle with to try and break the habit. I guess the issue is other children noticing and teasing her

It is perfectly normal.

You just need to keep reinforcing that it is inappropriate in public.

my very lovely sensible primary school teacher friend assures me it is perfectly normal to have to play 'hands in the air' 'everyone's hands above their desks!' 'wave at me with both hands!' in most classes.

this too shall pass, and all that. been there, done that with dd2. 'no thank you, darling, not in public'.

they do grow out of it. honest.

First make sure she doesn't have a urine infection or any soreness around her genitals. She might be rubbing it because it's itchy.

Secondly masturbation is really quite common, and from a very young age. Some children will "masturbate" in their high chairs by rubbing against the pommel bit, or on the floor.

Try giving her something to fiddle with, such as a hairband around her wrist, or some beads on elastic to twiddle with.

I definitely did it at that age!I remember doing it in our garden while my dad was cutting the grass and he said,'Go in and tell your mum you have been touching yourself!!'I did and she just said ,'Wash your hands and go and read a book.'It really is normal though maybe not if she is doing it constantly....it may be an itch.

Put short leggings/cycle shorts on over her pants for school, then she won't have easy access. Then at home keep reiterating the 'only in private' rule.

Thank you, lovely MNers. As always, you are a source of advice and comfort!
Love the idea of an alternative thing to fiddle with, and i will check to see that there's no infection.
x

Perfectly normal. Once you've ruled out thrush etc, just keep saying "go and do that in your bedroom, lovey" and they either stop or go to the bedroom. We just explained it was a private thing, and it was fine, but private.

Hi satine, my dd is same age a year ago she used to have her hand down trousers fiddling with her knickers. One day out in town I did the same and asked her to watch people's reactions! Within seconds she was mortified and told me to stop. She never did it again :) I told her next time I'll fiddle with my boobs!! Sometimes they just don't realise that others can see them and don't know exactly what it looks like to an onlooker!

It's Definitely and Totally Normal at 7 Years Old: As a matter of fact, it's Totally Normal even at 7 Months, or even Younger: They lay on the floor rocking side to side as they run their thighs together, and giggle ...

.. Because It Feels Nice.