sad at 3 years old?

[lauretta]

my dd has just turned 3 and is a very bright and intellingent child. She is a chatterbox and was very early walking/talking/having a first tooth out etc etc.
She has started kindergarden a few months ago and she looked fine, until a couple months ago she started saying that she is very sad as she doesn't think she has any friend or has managed to make any.
I think it's a bit early for her to feel this way and was quite shocked by her comments. Also I have been advised that at this age they normally play by themselves copying the others, and they don't interact that much with the others.

Should I be concerned? How to make her feel that she has plenty of time to make friends before she makes a big issue out of it and isolate herself and make it a real problem for the future?

It has made me sad to read this! What about a quiet word with her teacher?

Hi lauretta
howabout asking one of the other little girls home for lunch/tea that seems to help with children who are not settling in my class.

Hi lauretta
howabout asking one of the other little girls home for lunch/tea that seems to help with children who are not settling in my class.

Davros, I have spoken to the teacher and she says it is normal for 3 years old not to mix, and that maybe dd is too advanced for her age.
Mottie, good idea however I work full time and cannot organize this very easily, but I will give it a try

Hi,
I would second inviting a little friend to tea - maybe at the weekend?
In fact identify 2 or three and invite a different one for an hour or so for the next few Saturdays.
Sometimes it's all they need to help them develop a friendship.
Hope this helps...

Sounds like one of those goldarn phases we're always having to deal with! Agree with the other ideas of arranging visits from "little friends" although it sounds like it could be difficult for you. Hope she isn't too sad, its heartbreaking to think of it

Thank you ladies, I don't know what to think, maybe she is very intelligent and that is why she is posing the problem. Maybe the other children in her age group are just happy to play by themselves and will start worrying about making friends later.
The problem is also that we live in an area where there are not many children around and until before she started kindergarden she did not have much contact with children, I am now thinking that it might be my fault because I have two children and work full time and did not (and do not) have the time to meet up with my antenatal group or to go to toddler groups so dd1 missed out on interacting with other children her age.

I just wanted to hear from you if you think that 3yrs is too soon for a child to be sad about not having friends.

Lauretta, my ds, 3.5, is so anti-social, I do worry that he wont make friends. He is very happy with adult company but is reluctant to play with other children at play groups etc. I often invite people round, often their kids play in the garden while ds hides under the kitchen table but sometimes he comes out and joins in. I understand your concern, I worry endlessly about ds but friends reassure me he will become more confident as he gets used to being with other children He is an only child BTW, is your dd?

I have another child, but he's only 6 months old, so she cannot play with him yet, also she was very disappointed I did not give her a little sister!

She used to be very confident, but she's changing now and becoming shy and withdrawn, I don't know what to do to make her regain her confidence.

Luaretta I felt so sad just reading your posts, my dd went through a similar phase when she first started pre-school. She was forever saying that she didn't have anyfriends (I knew this wasn't true) as I stayed behind for a few days with my younger ds to watch and see what happend.

The real problem was that none of the other children were socially advanced enough to cope with her. She also felt a bit pushed out as ds was only just 5 months when she started going.

Things have got better for her and her teacher played with her more as a result of me talking to the school. I honestly think that it will get better for your dd as the other children develop.

thanks Jenie, your words tells me that I might be right as dd (like yours) says she doesn't have friends, but then I have spent the day with her and noticed that the other children do play with her, but when she tries to communicate verbally to them they shy awy, because are not as advanced as her talking. Also she can come up with quite articulated thoughts that sometimes even I and dh are surprised and wonder where she's got that from!

We will have to wait and see, I don't want her to feel sorry for feeling she hasn't got friends