Is my 16mo becoming an absolute sod or is her behaviour normal?

[Stangirl]

16mo is very active. Very active. My friends thought I was over egging her inability to sit still until they spend time with her then agree with me. She sometimes sits down for 2mins for me to read her something but otherwise she runs everywhere all the time. She won't watch TV. She is very grabby - to the point that both her father and I have had huge scratches on our faces. She also grabs at other children all the time and upsets them. If I say "no" she laughs and does something again and again. We have tried naughty corner and ignoring her - nothing changes her behaviour. She is at nursery 2 days a week and was previously 5 days a week. She is happy and healthy and sleeps like a dream. Is she within the normal range or should I be worried?

She sounds exactly like my DS at 16 months. Especially the running everywhere. But if you are worried why don't you ask the nursery. They see loads of kids including first hand experience of your DD so will have a better idea of whether she is out of the norm.

DD2 is very very very active.
But she does understand "no". I don't think the naughty step is OK now, it is too early, but being removed from situation or put down will work better (for grabbing, push the hands away with a firm NO and be consistent, if she is on your lap put her down and walk away).
Show her the difference between gentle (stroking, patting...) and what she does forcefully (grabbing, snatching, hitting, kicking ....)

DD2 (16 mo) is in "copying time" too (me, her sister, kids in the park), so your DD might copy some misbehaving kids at the nursery (or one of you , I guessed not) so definitely talk to the nursery.
I don't think you have to worry just let her know it is not on.
Get her tired as much as you can. Park (free will running, climbing...) jumping at home (bed, cushion, trampoline...), obstacle courses with cushions and pillows, getting up and down stairs beds sofas..., if you have no below neighbours, running indoors, dancing...

16 months is very young. She won't have any idea what you mean by the "naughty corner". She is just exploring at this age and means nothing by the grabbing. She is too young to know right from wrong and is just laughing at your reaction.

Just take her hand and encourage/show her how to touch you gently saying "gently" or "that hurts mummy". The phase will end and she will become more gentle over time. Just remove her/distract her if she tries to hurt other children, model gentle behaviour and she will learn from you in due course.

Not all children like TV, mine was never that interested, Besides they have the attention span of a goldfish at that age. It's a difficult age- hang in there.

Ds1 (now 6) was like this. Started to walk day before his first birthday, started to run the next day and hasn't stopped... Even now it's difficult to get him to sit to do something (especially eat or calm down at bed time. Dread to think what he is like at school).

But he has got a bit better in that - if he is interested in something - he will now watch tv, even if he is usually bobbing around and doing other stuff concurrently. Wrestling his little brother, making shadow puppets, prowling around like one of the animals from deadly 60 along with scary growl to scare little brother or running around with blanket in lieu of superhero cape are current favourites... And did I mention the incessant talking to accompany it all?

Sorry this probably isn't helping is it?

But it does get a bit better, persist with keeping tv for periods of time on in the hope that she will see something that catches her fancy and watch for a little longer each time. And having a toy and book that ties in with something she likes will all help, especially if she will play along. And now is a good time for her to be concentrating for longer and longer.

Also agree with asking nursery as they will have lots of other kids to compare her to. Used to pick up ds1 from nursey and they used to reckon that he was always on the go especially in the Sumer when they were out all day. But it all goes to helping them to sleep well which was a big help to my sanity.

You say your dd is sleeping well and otherwise happy so that has to be good. Can you have some strategies to direct her busy-ness so at least you have a little control, even if it's just moving her into a different room to play more ? Or asking her to do things like march over there or come back jumping as a frog or spend the next 3 mins being a caterpillar? Then you get to slip a few slower ones in .

It was at this sort of age that ds started to love the Hoover, washing machine etc. I'm a slattern by nature but he adored using the real thing and even now as a special treat he is allowed to do some hoovering etc... childexploitation great win win situation and way for him to burn off energy.

At the end of the day though (sorry this is long, keep getting interrupted so have lost track a bit here) you know in your heart of hearts if you think she is fine and you have just got a very active dd or if you are worrying about something then ask your gp. And if you are worried about something in particular ask them to rule it out explicitly - unfortunately it seems to be the most successful tactic in these litigious times of getting them to take you seriously if they have to sign to something specific on your dd's notes.

Good luck and hope she learns to watch tv and give you more than a few moments break soon!

Thank you all for your advice. We've been doing the "gentle, gentle" modelling and putting her down so will continue with that. She's only been to her new nursery 4 times so I think I'll have to wait a bit before I speak to them.

I think she's probably fine - it's just that I'm 36 weeks pregnant and can't keep up with her - as well as being worried about how on earth I'm going to feed a newborn if DD is running about and jumping on me.

I think it is more noticeable because they are girl boys with the same behaviour are just said to be "boys" (boys will be boys kind of thing).

Can you have someone to take her a bit? may just a 1h or 2 per day (not at nap time, just make sure of it! It was all what my MIL could afford to give me I always found it useless help, having to chat with her while DD1 napped...)

Newborns are amazingly resilient. I have seen my friend boy bashed the new baby around , and had to intervene may time, the parents looked a bit blaze so it might have been a normal occurrence.

Also even if DD2 is very active running and breaking everything she is amazingly soft with babies.
Can you get a baby to your DD? so when you have the next one she can copy you (i.e. feeding, bathing, take her frustration on the doll,...)
DD2 love pushing dolls (or cars) in her big sister play pram. She also loves scooting, skating, pushing cars, being on ride-ons...

my dd is 17 months and exactly like yours, which is rather a shock to the system after ds1 and ds2 who are both spectacularly well behaved and non destructive (i thought i was a great mum, turns out they are just a different personality to their sister).

agree it's much too early for naughty step. with dd i just keep saying "no" very firmly and increasingly with a stern face, which seems to have more of an effect.