Was wondering whether anyone has any advice. My DD1 has always had the odd temper tantrum when tired, but this seems to be getting worse, and is always when there are consequences or punishment for bad behaviour. I think the consequences are usually in proportion - an example would be if she refuses to clear up her toys, I'll say I will turn off the television until she does, or she can't have pudding unless she sits back at the table. I'll always try asking her nicely, joking , making into a game etc. first and usually that works, but if not I'll give her 3 warnings of what the consequences will be and then I'll carry it through. I try not to be too controlling about it - for instance with the television example I'll say she can do it after her favourite programme - but this rarely works. The problem is she digs her heels in and then has an almighty temper tantrum when the consequence happens. I tend to ignore this, but she'll up the ante and start hitting, at which point I take her to her room and things continue to escalate and she gets very distressed. When she calms down we have a cuddle and all is well again, but she has started doing this most days.
Otherwise all seems well - she is happy at school and doing well. She's very sociable and has plenty of friends. Eats and sleeps well. She is sometimes quite tired but she goes to bed at 7-7.30 so I don't see what I can do to really make this better. I've tried talking to her as to whether anything is upsetting her, and didn't get anywhere. She doesn't behave like this outside the home.
The reward type approach doesn't really work for her any more. Any other ideas? I find it particularly difficult to deal with when she starts hitting and lashing out. It all feels horrible.