Anyone read 'The Highly Sensitive Child' and what did you think?

[MerryMarigold]

I am reading this, only on chapter 2. Part of me think this is so accurately my ds1 and dd1 and confirms what I've sensed for ages. Another part of me thinks: is this just so wide reaching (HSC's are all very different) that you can always find evidence that 'confirms' what you were already thinking (like the palm readers who will go through so many things in your life and you think she's amazing if she gets one right!).

Love to know your thoughts on it.

i am thinking 'highly sensitive parent' but what do i know

Go with your instinct - you know your kids best.

I read "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Kurchinka and found it extremely useful because it helped me to identify my own triggers, and helped me to build empathy with my spirited little monsters, despite my youngest's seemingly endless energy and my oldest's concerns about everything.

Beloved, well yes you're right. I am a highly sensitive parent! According to this woman, 20% of the population are these 'highly sensitive types'. But hopefully I can handle it so my son is a bit better adjusted than I am!

To be honest, this is all new to me. I am genuinely on the laidback end of parenting, or always have been, but ds1 has had such a hideous reception year and is really unhappy so am trying to understand my son a bit better rather than hope it all goes away (which is what I have done for the past 6 months).

Any other takers?

sorry i am a bit sensitive myself atm! it is horrific when they are miserable at school is he still quite young?

Hi Merrymarigold, I read some of the book following a recommendation on a thread I started about dd1 who is 5 now. It gave me some insight into dd who definitely ticks all the boxes as a HSC.

DD is starting school in September and following a lot of thought and from reading the book I made an appointment for dd to see a Play Therapist.

The results have been really good. She will always been a sensitive person but she has learned some coping skills and has loosened up (for want of a better explanation) in many ways.

It was in January of this year with the prospect of school looming that I decided that all the things that worried me about dd meant something wasn't quite right with her. It isn't that there is something wrong with her it is just that she is an anxious child who thinks about things more than the average 5 year old and she just needs a little extra support to deal with the world.

She has lost the sad, clenched up look she had when confronted by anything other than me, DH, her little sister and our safe, normal everyday environment.

She has gone from tolerating pre-school to actively enjoying it and wishing there were more days in the week.

I am so glad I stopped worrying silently about her and did something and I think the book helped me do this.

If you feel something isn't quite right then you are probably correct. I hope this post helps and feel free to PM me if there is anything I can do.

He is 5, but not young for his year (Nov bday). He does, however, get on a lot better with 4 year olds.

what does the book recommend in relation to sensitive kids? sounds interesting

Haven't got there yet! Only just finished the section which suggests whether you have a sensitive child or not. But seems v practical in dealing with it. Ch's 3 and 4 are about whether you are a sensitive parent or not, and how to approach your child bearing in mind your similarity/ difference. There's a ch on school too. And I think a chapter on boundaries/ training and how to do this in relation to a sensitive kid.

suiledonne, were you on my antenatal thread for November 2008?!

Yes. I thought the name was familiar. I dropped off the ante-natal board. Couldn't keep up once it went facebooky.

How is your Nov '08 baby doing? Mine is great - very different from her big sister. Definitely not a HSC.

I had twins. One is definitely an HSC, and one is totally not (he's a lot 'easier' in some ways). But I am balancing 2 HSC's, plus myself and my dh we are pretty 'highly sensitive' ourselves. We've always commented that ds2 is 'unusual' in a good way, because he is much less affected by other's emotions and doesn't care much about loads of things that wind the other 2 up. Now am beginning to understand it all better - and that ds2's not unusual at all! I was interested to read in the book that HSC's tend to potty train later. We were delighted and surprised at how quickly ds2 trained as ds1 took a long time, and dd is taking a long time too! A small thing - but interesting as in boy/ girl twins, it's most often the girl who trains first.